


Heart of The Sea

by Snowy38



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Artistic License, Blonde!Harry, Broken Dreams, Bulimia, Depression, First Time, Flashbacks, Fluff, Grinding, Happy Ending, Hope, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love/Hate, M/M, Manatees, Nostalgia, Old love rekindled, Parental disaaproval, Pining, Regret, Sadness, Suicidal Thoughts, Surfer! Louis, Tenderness, Turtles, Unrequited Love, it's not horrible I promise, sorry about the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:23:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 63,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowy38/pseuds/Snowy38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crashing out in Indonesia had brought Louis back to reality with a hard and painful collision. Not only did he wipe out in the most spectacular of ways-getting caught up in an undercurrent and slammed against his board hard enough to rip his shoulder from the joint and a few tendons with it- but he'd learned in those long moments that he'd spent underwater fighting for breath and life that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.</p><p>He'd let Harry go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

 

 

_Harry's lips pout so that they're pursed in a temptingly swollen fashion._

_"I don't want you to go."_

_Louis' thumb brushes over his cheekbone, his small hand settling into shape against his jaw._

_"I'll be back before you know it."_

_"Don't want to lose you," Harry murmurs. "Lose **this** ," he adds in a whisper as his arm clutches around Louis' waist._

_Louis gently presses his forehead to Harry's then lands a tender to kiss to his sulky lips._

_"We won't I promise."_

_Harry's reluctant green eyes lift to study blue-grey ones._

_"You promise?" He checks._

_Louis lifts his free hand, curling all his fingers in apart from the smallest._

_"Pinkie promise," Louis assures, his voice as soft as his eyes._

_Harry works his hand up to connect their little fingers._

 

The only trouble is promises get broken.

 

Even pinkie ones.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok can I just make it clear that when I wrote this story I thought manatees came on land like seals and by the time I found out they don't, they were an important part of the story! So please ignore that little error because I do a lot of research to get things right normally :)
> 
> Also I hope the tags aren't off putting or triggering.
> 
> Ang

 

**Savannah** **, Georgia** **.**

 

It was as good as a place as any.

 

Except well...Louis had probably always wanted to come here ever since he'd first seen the pictures on a postcard from one of Harry's vetinary friends who worked on Tybee Island.

 

Harry had talked about the baby manatees for days afterwards, spending hours laid on his back in Louis' lap researching the "Sea-cows" the area was famous for.

 

Of course they'd never actually gone there. That was Louis' fault.

 

 _Everything_ was Louis' fault.

 

He'd been on the cusp of living the dream and it had all slipped through his fingers without warning, without the means to stop it happening.

 

And now he was here, in a town called _Isle of Hope_ which had every sugary American accessory you'd expect- white picket fences and pretty, clean coastal houses no one dared paint anything other than bright white.

 

It was ironic, really, considering.

 

Louis knew there was no hope for him in any aspect- for his soul, for his broken body and least of all for his broken heart.

 

//

 

"Niall, swing round to the left!"

 

Harry's voice carried heavy over the winds, the net he clutched whipping dangerously about as they waded into the water knee-deep, sea spraying over their torsos.

 

Right now waterproof jackets and waders were doing nothing to keep them dry or warm.

 

"I can't reach him, I think he's stuck!" Niall yelled back, his Irish twang sounding familiar and warm.

 

Harry heaved air in and out of his lungs his fraught eyes falling on the struggling sea-turtle caught up in some kind of plastic waste thrown in the waves by some no-doubt snobby Islander.

 

His mind worked over the problem before them, trying to work up a solution that may be impossible to achieve.

 

"Let's throw it on top of him and try and scoop him in with the waves!" Harry suggested, coming closer with wide strides, pushed off balance by the force of the waves hitting them both.

 

It was getting darker, the clouds rolling in over the horizon onto the beach and it felt apocalyptic somehow, it always did.

 

On the count of three they cast the net over the turtle, rolling in the edges to try and get behind the creature's tail, persuading him away from the weeds he was clearly caught in, using the momentum of the sea as a boost.

 

"HEAVE!" Harry called as the roll of the sea gathered, his eyes widening as the heavy surge of water turned into a tidal wave and crashed down on them both, pushing them onto their backs and up onto the beach.

 

He choked out water, clawing his hair out of his face as he looked across the sand towards where he hoped Niall would still be positioned.

 

He sighed in relief as his fellow blonde friend came into view as the wave receded but he had to scrabble up to get to him because the turtle was laid on Niall's chest, heavy and imposing as Niall choked out water from his lungs.

 

Harry curled the turtle into his arms and staggered up the beach, laying it in the carry cage they'd brought along and then he turned back, stumbling to his knees by Niall's side to check his breathing.

 

Another wave reached up the sand, causing Niall to curse.

 

"Get me out the feckin' water then ya twat," he told Harry as he spluttered into the sand.

 

Harry grinned and tucked an arm under his back and knees.

 

"Rescue commencing, Nialler," he assured, getting to a slightly shaky stand with the smaller man in his arms.

 

//

 

Turtle Island was only a stone's throw from Tybee and they were used to seeing all range of marine animals in the vicinity of the coast.

 

Savannah was home to some of the most spectacular views and sea-creatures but still, Harry couldn't help but feel concerned that this particular turtle had been caught up in the plastic discarded from a six-pack.

 

The beach had a strict no littering rule and anyone found doing so was fined heavily so that meant the private boat rentals from the summer were still throwing up their ugly remains.

 

He rolled his eyes as he watched Crush swim about in the miniature salt-water pool. Rich, smarmy New England frat boys held week-long parties on the boats sometimes and the animals were always victim to those blow-outs. Still, Harry sighed in relief.

 

They'd saved another one.

 

Niall walked up to him, towel drying his hair.

 

"Hey, get into something dry and warm," his friend told him, poking his wet, golden-blonde curls. "You'll catch cold otherwise."

 

Harry turned and wrapped his arms around his friend and colleague, nuzzling into his neck.

 

"I'm sorry I almost got us killed." He apologised softly.

 

"Again," Niall added amusedly, clapping him on the back.

 

"Again," Harry conceded as he pulled away.

 

Niall smirked.

 

"Life wouldn't be the same without you trying to kill me at least once a bloody week, Hazza," his friend chirped before heading to the staff room to finish drying off.

 

//

 

Louis let himself into the quaint little town house he'd rented when he'd first reached town.

 

Since then his belongings had been shipped across state from California and he'd spent his first week making it feel more like home.

 

His mother still hadn't quite forgiven him for emigrating halfway across the country but he needed this. He really needed it.

 

For two weeks his arm would be resting in the sling the nurses had taught him how to tie and then he might be able to start the gentle physiotherapy required to repair the damage the dislocation of his shoulder joint had caused.

 

He winced as he remembered the pain of that impact, how he'd blacked out soon after and then waking up from surgery, groggy and confused.

 

They'd had to operate on the tendons in his shoulder which made his recovery longer than a simple case of popping the joint back into its socket. Sixteen weeks to be precise. Four whole months.

 

Louis sighed.

 

Still, the whole point of coming to Savannah and leaving everything that he knew behind was so he could start afresh. He hoped nobody knew him here but he wasn't certain the residents of Tybee hadn't heard his name being chattered about on the radio or printed in magazines.

 

Hopefully nobody knew Louis was famous for all the wrong reasons at least.

 

And that's exactly what he wanted. Because he hadn't just come here to recover from a physical injury. He needed to lick the wounds on his pride, too. When he thought about the kind of guy he had become following the path he had been on, it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

Growing up a child of the water in Santa Maria had given him the best start in life and he'd flowed seamlessly into the surfing world.

 

He'd soon mastered the art of balance and power required to steer the board and he'd entered as many competitions as possible until he'd had to break out of the state and into nationals. After that he'd soon gone global and the legendary waves of Australia and El Salvador had called his name along with every other hot spot in between.

 

And he'd been so excited about it all. he'd been so damn confident. He could still taste the hunger of victory and the sweet high of realising it but none of that could comfort him now.

 

Crashing out in Indonesia had brought him back to reality with a hard and painful collision. Not only did he wipe out in the most spectacular of ways- _getting caught up in an undercurrent and slammed against his board hard enough to rip his shoulder from the joint and a few tendons with it_ \- but he'd learned in those long moments that he'd spent underwater fighting for breath and life that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.

 

 _He'd let Harry go_.

 

//

 

It was probably too cold for ice cream.

 

Louis licked at the sweet cold treat while he looked out on the deserted beach. It was colder now, almost winter and he'd had to start wearing his winter jacket, a short denim one with warm sheep-skin lining.

 

He looked different now than before.

 

Apart from the arm that was tucked into a sling leaving one jacket-sleeve loose, his face looked older, had grimace lines and puffy skin under his eyes from the lack of peaceful sleep. His hair was a mess, not even styled properly just a birds nest of appropriation to something stylish. He had less weight now. Despite gorging on things like the ice cream during the week he'd been out of hospital, determined to try all of the things he always swore off for fear of gaining even an ounce that might mar his balance and performance, he was still slimmer, not quite gaining what he needed to look healthy.

 

He was softer, somehow. Sad and quite melancholy but oh-so-hopeful for a future here. His fresh start needed to include friends and people that cared about him; people who didn't know what riches he'd accrued and didn't hang around just to leech off those savings.

 

People who liked him for _him_.

 

He snorted. Not much chance of that.

 

The accident had changed him, yes,. Even in the short time from leaving hospital to standing here on this shore, he'd spent those hours contemplating everything and the consensus wasn't great. Truth was Louis couldn't quite work out why anyone had loved him even before he'd let the heady world of surf championships go to his head.

 

And even worse, he couldn't work out how anyone would ever love him again after.

 

He lobbed the rest of his cone into the nearest bin and swallowed down the bile rising up his throat.

 

And there was that.

 

The need to be sick every time he remembered just what an asshole he really was and how he'd never be able to escape his reality of being alone forever more.

 

//

 

"Hey mate...are you okay in there?"

 

Louis ripped off some toilet paper and wiped his mouth, hands shaking as hard as his body quivered.

 

He was on his knees straddling a toilet bowl and it was the last thing he needed really, someone being concerned.

 

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine thanks," he replied, his voice husky and tight from the vomiting of moments before.

 

"Do ya want some water or summat?"

 

Louis frowned, trying to place the accent.

 

"Uh...no," he grimaced, not wanting this guy to see him. This poor beautiful soul who was taking pity on him without knowing what a devil-fiend he truly was.

 

The room went quiet and Louis let out a breath of relief. Then he heard the squeak-swish of the door and tensed hoping the next visitor wouldn't notice him puking his guts up.

 

"Here, I'll push it under the door."

 

The voice was back, a small plastic cup filled three-quarters with water nudging up by Louis' ankle.

 

"Oh...thank you," he appreciated softly, feeling stupid tears threaten at the stranger's kindness.

 

"S'alright mate, we've all been there," the guy said.

 

Louis took the cup and swallowed the liquid heavily. He got to his feet unsteadily, reaching out a hand to press into the cool wall of the bathroom stall. He unlocked the door and pulled it open slowly, sure the stranger was waiting for him to show his face.

 

He pressed his lips together in a sheepish smile.

 

"Hey there."

 

The guy grinned widely, about the same height as him with blonde-tipped hair in high, soft spikes.

 

"Hey good to meet ya. I'm Niall by the way..." he stuck out his hand.

 

Louis shook it gently.

 

"I'm Louis." He shared. "Thanks for the water..."

 

Niall shrugged, watching as Louis washed his hands and Louis tried not to let his thoughts wander into a weird territory where Niall was a secret stalker of his or something even more insane.

 

"Hey look...um...you want to hang out for a bit?" The stranger asked and Louis couldn't help his breathy laugh.

 

"You don't even know me," he mused.

 

"Why're you a  monster or something?" The man asked.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"Some might say so..."

 

"I'm just headed down the beach to check for manatees if you fancy tagging along."

 

Louis tilted his head.

 

"Manatees come up onto the beach?"

 

"Mostly get stuck here with the strong tides in winter..." Niall corrected.

 

"Hm," Louis nodded thoughtfully. He could use some air and a friendly face wasn't exactly unwelcome right now.

 

"What's this?" Niall smiled bemusedly, lifting Louis' empty coat sleeve and tugging it gently.

 

Louis arched a brow.

 

"Dislocated shoulder," he explained, lifting his arm off his chest to press it against the inside of his coat.

 

Niall smiled at him.

 

"Oh, you're a surfer boy," he guessed easily.

 

Louis nodded with a bit of a blush.

 

"I guess you could say that."

 

//

 

"So any manatees?" Harry asked as soon as Niall came through the front door of the centre, Harry at the front desk working on the computer stationed there.

 

Niall shook his head.

 

"Met a guy though."

 

Harry turned with an interest lift of a brow.

 

"Didn't think you swung that way young Niall..."

 

Niall rolled his eyes.

 

"Was thinking more for you, mate," he snorted.

 

Harry choked out a laugh and tossed back his bountiful blonde curls.

 

"Yeah, right..." He mused dryly.

 

"Why not?" Niall perched on the desk, one foot to the floor the other nudging Harry's shin gently as he let his leg support him on the counter top.

 

Harry's lips pinched together tightly as he frowned and then his face cleared as he let out a sigh.

 

"Because."

 

Niall gently clasped his shoulder.

 

"I know 'because', you always tell me 'because' the only problem is, I don't know what 'because' means," Niall mused. "I think you'd like this one," he added, remembering the four or so other guys he'd tried to set Harry up with and failed miserably.

 

Harry turned, hand clasping the chair arm-rest, brows arched.

 

"Do you even know he's gay?" He challenged.

 

Niall grinned.

 

"Yep, asked him that."

 

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

"Niall, you need to stop asking random guys if they're gay and single...and more importantly asking them if they want to date your tall, blonde-haired friend," he added bemusedly.

 

"Oh, didn't ask him that," Niall promised. "Just thought you might be interested..."

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Considering you don't know my type, I'm not sure how you decide who might interest me..."

 

Niall folded his arms, smug this time.

 

"Well, I set you up with a tall guy, a red-head, a blonde and a jock and none of them took ya fancy so I'm guessing small and brunette is the way to go," he nodded resolutely.

 

Harry stilled, a sharp slice of pain shooting down his chest leaving him breathless. _Yeah, yeah that was very much the way to go; only-_

 

"I'm not interested," he managed to grind out on a low, gritty voice.

 

Niall frowned a bit, squeezing his arm.

 

"Hey...sorry, look I was only teasing, I didn't mean to-"

 

"It's fine," Harry cut him off, jaw flexing so that the muscles in his face tensed.

 

Niall stood up with a hand rubbing across Harry's shoulders.

 

"No more blind dates, Hazza, I promise."

 

Harry nodded and tried to ignore the tears at the edges of his eyes.

 

//

 

The coffee in Tybee was too strong for Louis' tastes. He had always preferred tea and he noticed a lot of people around here took it with ice but he preferred it hot with milk.

 

He liked to sit here by the coast and watch the waves rolling. He felt connected with the sea somehow, as though part of his soul was out there in the squall.

 

He still felt the sting of disappointment when he'd been told of the recovery period for his shoulder. Sixteen weeks out of the surf circuit would render him completely useless for next season too since he needed to let his body heal.

 

He clenched his teeth together as he thought about everything he'd taken for granted. Being able to swim, strong and for endless miles. Being able to cruise over the surf's waves fearlessly with nothing but the bite of wanting to be the best in his veins. Travelling to continents the world over and trying out all variety of waves; and more importantly (at the time) winning a trophy in every corner of the world.

 

The only trouble was, he'd never made it home between comps. And as much as he'd promised his then-boyfriend Harry that they'd make it, that he'd be there for him...the truth was, Louis had failed them both.

 

He'd let the buzz of winning and the excitement of having a whirlwind of new friends around him over-rule everything else. It was eight months since he'd seen Harry last and four months since they'd stopped speaking.

 

Harry had stopped speaking to him after being fed empty lies and Louis had fallen into the biggest trap of all time. _Seduction_.

 

He'd never wanted anyone but Harry and he'd certainly never wanted a _woman_...but something about that lonely night in Australia had brought him so low that the blonde girl who was always at his side lately became the next day's headline.

 

_Proudly Gay Surfer Louis Tomlinson caught kissing blonde GIRL!_

The papers had screamed it from the rooftops and it hadn't even been a lie. Too much whisky and his poor, confused heart had mixed up the blonde hair of his new companion and that of his beau and he'd kissed her in his (very) drunken state.

 

The fact it happened to be caught on camera and sold to the tabloids the very same night was no coincidence. Louis had dropped every member of his entourage bar his manager and had a particularly unpleasant telephone conversation with Harry in which it was made clear kissing other blondes was not acceptable.

 

Months of throwing himself into work- _literally_ \- left him feeling empty and used. He'd gone hard in the next competition in Indonesia and the wipe-out was almost a payback for all the pain he'd caused because of one stupid mistake.

 

He'd never forgive himself for getting caught up in it all so much that he'd fundamentally forgotten who he was and even now he wasn't really sure anymore.

 

"It's a great place to come and think isn't it?" A warm voice asked at his side.

 

Louis subtly wiped off the moisture under his eyes with the pad of his thumb.

 

"Yeah...yeah it is..." he agreed quietly, looking over the man who'd paused by the seated bar at the window of the coffee shop.

 

He was kind of tall with brown hair and puppy dog brown eyes.

 

"Oh sorry," he apologised on seeing Louis' bloodshot eyes. "Didn't meant to interrupt...."

 

"No, it's okay," he assured quickly, clearing his throat and patting the free stool next to him. "May as well share it," he commented.

 

"You're Louis Tomlinson aren't you?" The guy asked as he got comfortable.

 

Louis sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have invited him to sit after all. So much for anonymity in Savannah.

 

"That's me," he replied, fake chipper.

 

The guy's eyes crinkled.

 

"Awesome surf, buddy," he awed.

 

Louis swallowed hard.

 

"Not for a while," he shrugged, cradling his arm across his belly a bit in its sling.

 

The guy nodded.

 

"I'm Liam by the way. I work at the fish-mongers in town."

 

"Nice to meet you," Louis acknowledged. "I'm sure you do a roaring trade."

 

Liam nodded with another smile.

 

"You just moved here then?" He wondered.

 

Louis smirked, cruising fingers through his messy hair.

 

"Isle of Hope, right?" He replied. "Guessed I needed it."

 

Liam hummed beside him, his eyes flitting back and forth along the beach-front.

 

"What else do you do then?" Louis wondered. "Other than gutting fish?"

 

Liam smiled.

 

"Go to ball-games, hang out with my girlfriend...."

 

Louis found his lips curving just a fraction at the warmth that appeared in Liam's eyes at the mention of his girl.

 

"You're lucky," Louis said, soft and reverent. "Don't mess it up."

 

Liam looked at him for a long moment, his eyes slightly wide like he knew what Louis was talking about but he was afraid to ask, too.

 

"I'll try not to...do you want to come back to mine for dinner? I can ask Sophia if she can add a place at our table..."

 

Louis might have normally said no, especially as Liam was a stranger who had recognised him. But Louis didn't get any weird vibes from him so he nodded and they left the coffee shop together.

 

//

 

"Harry love, you have to let it go sometime..."

 

His mother, Anne, was her usual comforting self. Harry pressed his lips together and then sighed.

 

"It's not like I'm not trying, Mom. I can't help it."

 

Harry knew that was a lie. He _could_ help it. His mother told him as much.

 

"If you at least tried going on a date with someone else it might help, sweetheart. Even if you don't fancy them just get back out there and meet some new people. You'll have to try a few frogs-"

 

"Before I find my Prince, I know," he finished for her amusedly.

 

"I know how much you loved him," she added quietly, her voice wispy and emotional. "And I know how much he hurt you. But you can't stop loving people, Harold," she bolstered. "And you deserve to be loved in return."

 

"I know," he whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose as he clutched his phone tightly in a shaky hand.

 

"Then just try, baby boy," she hummed, the nick-name making him smile despite himself.

 

"Alright I'll try," he conceded.

 

If only his heart didn't thump heavily at the prospect.

 

//

 

Louis spent the next week checking the coastline for the manatees Niall had informed him about that day he'd been sick in the public restroom.

 

Since then he'd lost three meals and two snacks in total but today the cool fresh air breezing across the settled water calmed his usually raging stomach.

 

He wanted to slip between the waves and swim with the creatures they had been searching for but there were none to be found. Further down the cove there was a boat ride out to Turtle Island which promised manatee sightings.

 

Louis boarded it and curled into the corner; looking out onto the azure waves.

 

//

 

"So Niall..." Harry strode into work the next morning, a large hand grooming back his long hair.

 

"Yes, Hazza?" His Irish friend saluted with a cheeky wink.

 

Harry arched a brow, clearing his throat.

 

"This guy you were thinking of setting me up with..."

 

Niall perked up instantly, coming around the desk to smirk at Harry.

 

"Oh yeah? Is it on, now?"

 

Harry rolled his eyes.

 

"Maybe," he breathed as his heart picked up speed. "Just something casual maybe?"

 

Niall grinned.

 

"I'll tell him to go slow, mate don't worry..."

 

Harry shunted at his shoulder and then wrestled him into a hug.

 

"I love you, Ni."

 

Niall hummed and told him he loved him back.


	3. Chapter 3

Niall spent three days looking for Louis. He went in the public toilets down on the beach front too many times to be considered normal and he was worried about being reported when one evening, late after the sun had gone down, he saw a form folded up by the jetty, a cigarette methodically placed to lips followed by smoke being blown out.

 

"No wonder you were puking your guts up," he said in greeting.

 

Louis looked up, dark lashes shadowed by the jetty, His features were washed out with moonlight, gaunt and tight. Niall felt bad for teasing him because he looked like he'd just finished another round of vomiting.

 

"My only vice," Louis shared in a soft voice that was husky from the smoke.

 

"Only?" Niall checked.

 

Louis nodded. "Not a drinking man."

 

"I'll take a bit of anything, me," Niall shared and he caught Louis' wan smile.

 

"So how's the manatees?" Louis asked. "I've been checking and I haven't found any."

 

"If ya do you can come up to the Marine Life Centre," Niall pointed further up the coast. "We'll sort you out."

 

"Okay," Louis agreed, sucking in more tobacco. "Deal."

 

"So uh...I was just wonderin'..." Niall began, feeling uncharacteristically nervous.

 

Suddenly, setting Louis up with his mate didn't seem like such an easy feat. In fact, Louis didn't know Niall worked with Harry or anything about him and the fact Louis could walk into the centre any day added an extra layer of anxiety.

 

"Are you single?" He blurted out, blushing hard.

 

Louis snapped his head sideways and gave Niall such an intense look he couldn't help bursting into giggles.

 

"Not for me!" He held up his hands in surrender. "Um...a mate of mine..."

 

Louis blinked long lashes against sharp cheeks. At least there was one resident who didn't recognise him and know everything about his love-life.

 

"I'm not really into anything right now." He admitted sadly.

 

Niall brightened.

 

"Well that's great because my guy doesn't want to rush into anything and I need a nice guy he can just you know...warm up with," Niall shared.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"So you're using me to get him back into the game?"

 

Niall frowned, gold-fishing his mouth in trying to work out how what he'd said had come off quite so badly.

 

It was Louis' turn to giggle, covering his mouth with the back of his hand and flicking his hair out of his eyes.

 

"It's all good," Louis assured. "Guess you don't get many gays down here..."

 

Niall hummed.

 

"So um, Friday, 8pm?" He suggested. "At Crab & Chowder?"

 

Louis grazed his upper teeth over his lower lip.

 

"Okay, sure, why not? What's his name?"

 

Niall smiled.

 

"It's Harry."

 

Louis felt a flutter in his chest and gasped in a breath of air. He knew in all the world that there were thousands of men named Harry and that it was just a coincidence there happened to be one here in Tybee, a gay one that Niall wanted him to meet.

 

But he couldn't help the wave of memories that came from growling that name against milky white hips, from breathing it into a sweet wet mouth; from crying it out loudly when lips tightened around his dick from a man with the same name who'd broken his heart the day he'd told him he no longer wanted to be with him.

 

"You know him?" Niall asked.

 

Louis shook his head, a bitter smile dusting his lips.

 

"No...just knew one, once. It's fine. I'll be there." he promised.

 

Niall sat with him until the air grew too cold to withstand and the two men parted ways.

 

//

 

Harry adjusted the rose in the lapel of his black velvet jacket, peeking down his body to check the rest of him.

 

His slightly flared matching velvet trousers hugged his thighs nicely and complimented his heeled, sparkled boots. His shirt was frilly and dark grey like a storm rolling in off the sea. He flicked at the cuff wondering if it was too much.

 

His blonde hair which went past his shoulders curled and waved majestically about as he flipped it, holding a bouquet of tulips in his sweaty hand.

 

He decided to focus on the petals of the reds and yellow, biting at his lower lip.

 

"Jesus Christ..."

 

Harry looked up, eyes wide.

 

 _It couldn't be_...

 

But it really _was_.

 

"L-Louis?" He choked, the cold air strangling him and burning his throat.

 

The petite man before him was softer somehow, his hair was a wreck but it was him, it was unequivocally _him_.

 

"Harry!" Louis gasped. "What are you doing here? I thought you were still in Cali, I had no idea-"

 

"God, I knew I should have asked for a picture," Harry cut him off with a dark frown, turning to go.

 

"Harry, please!" Louis called starting after him only to be hit in the chest with a bunch of flowers.

 

"Fuck off!" Harry yelled as he began to run. "I don't want to fucking see you again, I told you that!"

 

Louis's mouth fell open and all the air left his lungs.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

//

 

Louis made it home in time to crash in front of the toilet, his stomach heaving dryly at the minimal contents left in it.

 

He'd actually been looking forward to a nice, sea-food dinner but now...

 

Now he just hated himself even more.

 

He let the liquid wash up through his body, splattering in the toilet bowl. That mess was his actual soul, he realised as he blinked wet lashes together as the next wave erupted. He deserved this; he mused as the biting sting of acid burned at his insides.

 

He deserved to be punished for hurting Harry and for losing him due to his own stupidity. He deserved all the bad things that came his way.

 

//

 

"Jesus Harry how I was supposed to know? You never told me you were dating Louis in California," Niall reminded.

 

Harry glared at him from the front desk while Niall readied them for a day of incoming injured animals.

 

"You said his name was Lewis!" Harry accused.

 

"It was close!" Niall excused.

 

Harry felt the tears edge his eyes and huffed out a breath of surrender.

 

"Next time do me a favour," he asked, throat thick with emotion as he came up to where Niall was sweeping the floor. "Don't bother setting me up," he said and brushed past him to the staff room.

 

//

 

The data never lied.

 

Harry had checked the numbers three times over.

 

"Ni," he called lowly to his colleague as he wandered into the front office with a sandwich.

 

Niall turned, chewing with his mouth open.

 

"Huh?"

 

"We've had double the number of manatees brought in this month than this time last year..."

 

Niall frowned. He recalled the several injured sea-cows that had been admitted recently but he hadn't been counting.

 

"Why's that?"

 

Harry frowned too, pursing his lips.

 

"I'm not sure. I'm going to start documenting the types of injuries and ages of the animals," he considered. "I know we have more pollution than ever but this is way over what I've forecast for an increase..."

 

Niall nodded, folded his arms over his chest.

 

"Aye aye Captain."

 

"Seems like most of them come in at night so we can start doing a late shift to check the shore..."

 

"I'm in," Niall assured.

 

Harry didn't look at him as he went back to his printouts, studying the data with a stiffness in his jaw his friend knew was because of the failed date with Louis.

 

He didn't comment on it, heading around the desk to help out.

 

//

 

"How bad was it?" Liam asked gently, sipping his drink and glancing at Louis.

 

Louis sighed, closing his eyes painfully.

 

"As bad as it can get," he shared. "He told me to fuck off."

 

Liam's brows arched and he blew gently across the surface of his coffee.

 

"Oh, wow..."

 

Louis glanced at him, a grim line on his lips.

 

"Of all the fucking places in the world for him to be...had to be the town I chose to start afresh in..."

 

Liam smirked and Louis squinted at him.

 

"What?" He wondered.

 

"No, nothing," Liam shrugged, then smiled gently. "Well...some people call that fate," he explained. "When two people end up in one place together...a place they'd never expect to end up."

 

"He was in Cali!" Louis exasperated. "There's a million towns to live in there. Why couldn't he pick one of _them_?"

 

Liam nudged the cinnamon swirl pastry closer to Louis' knuckles where he cupped his hands together between his knees. He shook his head and slid the plate back towards Liam.

 

"You have it, I'm not hungry..."

 

Liam's eyes became big and sorrowful.

 

"He might forgive you, yet," Liam bolstered. "What did you do anyway?"

 

Louis swallowed.

 

"I kissed a girl." he admitted softly, because he knew; he knew that once everybody had learned his dark secrets and seen his horribly scarred heart then they'd leave him, the same way Harry had when he'd seen Louis' ugliness.

 

Liam blinked.

 

"Okay either I'm mistaken and you're bi or-"

 

"Or I don't like girls," Louis confirmed for him.

 

"So how did you end up kissing one?" Liam wondered.

 

"I was very drunk," Louis sighed. "And I was missing Harry and I'd gotten swept away with the surfing tour and well---she was there and she had hair just like his or near enough and it was like for that one moment, when she kissed me, it was like he was there, you know?" Louis recounted with an expression of mortification. "I could pretend he was there."

 

"Louis, if you don't like girls and it was a drunken kiss then why is Harry so upset?"

 

Louis arched a brow. "Wouldn't you be? If Sophia kissed a girl and it was printed all over the papers the next day?"

 

Liam's eyes widened.

 

"Oh-oh my god....she kissed and told on you?"

 

Louis nodded.

 

"Then it was a trap from the start! She wanted to get you into that situation just to earn a buck!"

 

Louis sighed.

 

"Probably..."

 

"And Harry just dumped you?" He checked again.

 

Louis sipped his cocoa.

 

"I don't blame him. What was he meant to think? It's the ultimate betrayal. I didn't just kiss another random guy, I kissed a _girl_...someone he never thought I'd be attracted to."

 

"And still aren't," Liam inserted.

 

"He doesn't know that," Louis breathed. "And I never had the chance to tell him."

 

Liam looked at him for a long moment.

 

"Then you know why you were put in the same town," he offered. "You might never get Harry back but you have the chance to tell him what really happened."

 

The fact that someone could casually tell Louis something he already knew- that he would never get Harry back- was still surprisingly painful. His stomach twisted and he begged his cocoa not to make a reappearance.

 

"I'm not sure if he'll let me." He admitted.

 

"You've got to try," Liam said, cupping his knee gently. "Louis, you've got to try."

 

//

 

It was getting colder as the weeks went on.

 

Louis' sling had to stay on for an additional week until he could start his physio but right now he needed freedom from the supporting bandage.

 

He slipped it over his head, dropping it on the beach, following gently with his tee, his coat already laid there on the dry sand.

 

His breath billowed out in the cold air, his skin puckered with goose bumps and he shivered against the wispy breeze as he undid his jeans, rasping the zipper down and wriggling out of them, adjusting his boxer briefs before he tiptoed towards the water.

 

It looked black without the sun or moon to light it up.

 

He hadn't been back in the water since his accident and he hadn't thought about much whether he feared it only now seemed a really good time to find out. He wanted to stretch his arm out into the cool temperature of the calm sea and feel the buoyancy hold him afloat.

 

Something had to keep him afloat.

 

Because he didn't have anything, anymore. He didn't have his surfing and he didn't have his Harry. And what was life really without the things that mattered most? His lips turned down at the edges. Life was nothing at all.

 

If he ever hoped to get back on a surf-board, he had to at least try and get in the water. It was cold, it touched his feet first, making him think twice. He looked back up the sand to where his clothes lay in a small heap.

 

Nothing worth going back for.

 

He waded in, all was silent around him apart from the hum of a motor-boat several hundred feet away probably night fishermen heading out he observed.

 

He stretched his arms out and let the water lap at the undersides, up to his chest now in the cold liquid.

 

"Almost killed me, you did," he murmured to the gently swaying waves. "Took me under and ripped my arm out the socket..."

 

The water seemed to lull him, seducing him in deeper. His toes barely touched the bottom now.

 

Something was floating on the surface in the near distance, coming closer with each lap of water against his chest.

 

"What the..?"

 

He waited for it to reach him, recognising the inanimate body of a small sea-creature. It looked like a sea-lion, a baby one maybe. He frowned, curling it into his arms. It was still warm to the touch, still had a heartbeat and breath.

 

He leaned backwards, waiting for his body to upright before he kicked, propelling himself back to shore.

 

//

 

He didn't have time to dress, only had time to run down the beach as fast as he could to the exit that would take him towards the building Niall had pointed out to him.

 

It was gone midnight but he prayed to God that someone was working late because he had seen under the streetlights the trail of red liquid leaking from the joint of the animal's fin.

 

"Are you a manatee?" Louis asked the little creature who laid injured in his arms, as if it would answer. "Never mind," he muttered as he skittered up the sloped driveway to the centre, pausing to catch his breath before he banged on the door loudly.

 

"Niall! Niall, open up!" He yelled. "Niall, I've got an injured-" he paused. "Something, okay? Something is injured and we need your help!"

 

He coughed into the cold air, his body temperature suddenly plummeting since he'd stopped running and was wet, too.

 

The door jerked open and furrowed brows were accompanied by pouty lips.

 

Louis knew those lips.

 

"Niall's not here, what-" Harry paused on seeing Louis. "Can't you just leave me alone?" He added darkly.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

"Look," he thrust the animal forward, his shoulder twinging and making him wince. He almost dropped the baby creature if it weren't for Harry stepping forward to take it from him, his face immediately set in concentration.

 

"Where did you find her?" He clipped, turning to the surgical room.

 

"Out by the pier. I heard a fishing boat and then this thing hit me in the chest..."

 

"It's a baby manatee," Harry explained, laying the creature on a metal work table to inspect it.

 

Louis' teeth chattered and he folded his arms across his chest.

 

"There's spare clothes in the staff room through there," Harry pointed to the left. "You better get dressed before you catch pneumonia."

 

Louis stood for a moment just watching as Harry's big, careful hands checked every inch of the animal. His hair was curled up on the back of his head, shining  healthily in the bright light of the room.

 

"Harry, I-"

 

"Get dressed, Louis," Harry cut him off. "And get a taxi home." He added.

 

Louis bit his lip. He should have let the waves carry him away.

 

//

 

_It always made him quiver, the first touch._

_The warm wetness of rough tongue on the underside of his dick was always his weakness. It made his hips rock up, his throat pushing out sounds until he was taken wholly inside Harry's mouth._

_But Harry would tease him, swallow him down and then go back to flicking his tongue over him, sucking his head in tight lips, pushing Louis down against his cheek, bottoming out at the back of his jaw._

_Louis always felt so big when Harry did that. He always pressed a thumb to Harry's cheek, making it redden for hours after. Louis loved it, seeing the glassy satisfaction in Harry's eyes and the burn of his touch on his skin._

_He ramped his hips upwards, trying to reach the back of Harry's throat, squeezing his eyes shut tight and grasping a lazy hand around himself to guide himself in._

_Harry would choke a bit, but would hollow his cheeks and suck hard, licking kittenishly right after to build him up sweet and slow. The times Harry had given up on delicacy to just get him off usually only occurred in public places._

_Louis loved that he took his time and made Louis feel like the King of the World._

_"Harry...sweetheart..."_

_Louis bit his lip against a whimper- not a sound he wanted anyone else to be hearing really. He sounded so gone...and Jesus, he was completely gone._

_It only took a couple of strokes and Harry's tongue flickering up his underside to bring him to his peak, heavy pulses of his release shooting onto Harry's tongue._

_Louis reached down to tangle fingers into surfer-hair, blonde and curly._

His fingers could only find the cool cotton of his sheet.

_//_

He'd been having these dreams for the last eight months, every night since he'd last been in Harry's bed. And every night they grew hotter and more intense.

 

Since finding out Harry lived in the same vicinity as him, they'd grown inexplicably more detailed and it cut at him like shards of glass having Harry so close in his sleep and so far in consciousness.

 

Twice Harry had told him to leave, refusing to even look at him and twice Louis had felt his stomach sink to his toes, his heard thudding emptily in his chest.

 

He needed Harry to listen more than he needed air right now but he knew it was completely unfair of him to expect it.

 

If Harry had kissed anybody else- male of female- he too would have been heart-broken. And Harry would never have done that because he was the strong one; he was the one who would never give up his ideals and morals for a flimsy affair with fame. But Louis needed him. And he'd had to live without him for so long now that he'd become used to the monotony of life without Harry but it wasn't really _life_. He didn't feel anything, he didn't even _like_ himself very much right now.

 

And as he rolled his shoulder he was reminded of the sharp pain of his mistakes; both physical and emotional. Four months of rehab was nothing compared to how Harry must feel.

 

 

//

 

 

"You going away, mate?" Liam toed Louis' duffle bag as he slid in beside him on the window seat.

 

Louis grimaced.

 

"I think it's best."

 

Liam's brows rose and he gushed out air.

 

"Wow...thought you were gonna say you were taking a fishing trip down the coast, not like-"

 

"I'm making things worse," Louis swallowed his cocoa but the taste was bitter.

 

Liam sighed.

 

"You've got to give it time," he suggested. "Imagine what Harry's going through right now...he didn't think he was ever going to see you again and them bam! You show up right on his doorstep. And he cant just leave can he? He's got a job and a life here and now he has to think about how every time he leaves the house he might bump into you."

 

Louis lowered his eyes to his lap.

 

"Not making me feel much better, buddy," he whispered.

 

Liam rolled his eyes and slid a hand onto Louis' shoulder.

 

"Look I'm not saying he'll always feel that way...but you're the one that told me he wanted you gone. So I'm just putting another angle on it."

 

Louis nodded, tears stinging his eyes as he looked into the horizon.

 

"He really didn't want to see me ever again, did he?" He asked himself, almost. "That wasn't a fear of mine it was the brutal truth."

 

Liam rubbed his back.

 

"If he's that passionate about hating you, it means he still feels _something_ ," he counselled but Louis was shaking his head and standing, stumbling away.

 

"I have to go," he muttered, sinking fingers into his bushy hair. "I have to get out..."

 

//

 

The physio wouldn't _exactly_ be happy that Louis was swimming. He'd waded into the water to nipple-deep and then headed along the shore instead of away from it but it was dark and it felt like he was miles away from anywhere.

 

He took it slow, using mostly his left arm, the strong one and his legs to power him. He could hear the thrum of a boat in the far distance, the gentle splash of nets or maybe crab catchers.

 

The splashing became louder, the boat's engine revving whilst it was anchored in place.

 

"Come on!" A whispered shout echoed.

 

"It's fucking heavy!"

 

"Just throw it in!"

 

Louis frowned, looking to the cove and seeing one figure on the boat in question and another thigh deep in water near the rocks. He had both arms wrapped around a baby manatee, just like Louis found the other night.

 

Something in him told him to pause and hold his breath. He gently trod water, chin dipping into the water.

 

"How many can you see?"

 

"About forty? They're sleeping..."

 

"Let's get ten on."

 

Louis frowned.

 

_What? Just what the-?_

 

He made a loud splashing sound to feign having just entered the water, posing some very convincing swim moves with his aching shoulder as he headed horizon-bound. He was just a night-swimmer in his mind.

 

"One...two...three..." He counted to himself, hoping it was enough to scare the men away without bringing too much attention to himself.

 

The loud roar of the motor eased Louis' anxiously throbbing heart.

 

Fuck, that was close _. Just what the fuck was going on?_

 

He caught his breath and winced, clutching at his shoulder as he floundered towards the cove to check on the baby manatees. One of them might be injured again and he couldn't leave them there without knowing for sure.

 

It was further than he thought and he was getting tired, the water was cold and he was swimming in his boxer-briefs again, risking his health just to be out there in the dark where he was alone and nothing else mattered, just the rhythm of the sea and the pearl glow of the moon.

 

He crawled up onto the rock and flopped onto his back, breath tight and fast. The edges of his vision blurred and suddenly he was spinning in circles.

 

"No...no," he whispered, reaching for the moon to steady himself but the night was drawing in, the darkness was overtaking.

 

Louis' body went limp as he lost consciousness to the dark blades of night.

 

//

 

Louis shivered, the cold feeling deep down like it was trapped in his bones. He was scared, too, like his plan to disappear hadn't worked and he was still a blight causing suffering in the real world.

 

By now he should be free, flying among the dark clouds with his jet black heart.

 

He sucked in a breath that hurt his ribs as his lungs expanded; causing him to hiss and cuddle into himself further.

 

"You're a fucking idiot."

 

The voice was low and accusing but Louis felt a hand brush through his hair; adjusting something over his body. He coughed a bit, setting himself retching.

 

A bucket magically appeared just as he broke open his eyes the slit required to see. He seemed to be on a  sofa somewhere, another person in the room.

 

"Who are you?" He whispered before he emptied the salt water from his stomach, his ribs aching even more with the familiar action.

 

He winced and curled an arm around himself, shuddering hard. He felt hot air blow at him and realised his hair was being dried.

 

"It's me," the voice replied to his question and Louis _knew_. He knew who it was and he hated himself even more. He wretched again, more than water coming back up this time.

 

"Jesus, I'm taking you to the hospital," Harry decided, darting to get his keys.

 

Louis reached out weakly to stop him, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

 

"Please don't," he asked. "I'll be okay now,"

 

Louis wasn't looking properly but he sensed more than saw Harry pop a hip and put a hand on it in a 'who are you kidding' kind of way. It was achingly familiar and something clawed at his insides.

 

Every word Harry had shouted at him that day he'd seen the headlines came ringing back into his ears, loud and accusing.

 

_You fucking bastard! I hate you! I never want to see you again!_

Louis curled into a tight ball, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his fists against his chest. He didn't deserve to be here, to be cared about enough to be taken to hospital by the very man he'd broken.

 

He rolled off the sofa and clumped to the floor with a loud bang, hissing as he tried to co-ordinate his limbs and open his eyes simultaneously which was hard with a bruised shoulder and no ability to stay awake. He managed to stagger around with flailing arms whilst Harry stood there with a confused look on his face and his arms crossed across his chest knowingly.

 

Louis gasped for air, his ribs slashing sharp pain across his torso and making black sparks hit the backs of his eyes.

 

"Ihavetogo," he mumbled, putting one foot forward; semi-conscious of the fact he was clothed in items far too big for him, and somehow his feet didn't work or his legs or maybe it was his brain but whatever the failure was, it caused him to fall face-first towards the floor.

 

"I-eiik!" He grunted as he fell, his good shoulder taking the brunt as he twisted to save his bad one.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

The last thing he remembered was the sound of keys being caught up into a gentle hand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your reviews and kudos, you keep me writing!
> 
> Find me on twitter as angkeats if you like ;)
> 
> Ang

"Hey there he is!"

 

Liam's smiling, Labrador-like face was almost too much to bear.

 

"What happened?" Louis whispered groggily, slowly lifting  a hand to rub his eye, then fingering his hair into some kind of tidiness.

 

"You passed out," Liam offered. "Apparently you like to swim near-naked in the freezing cold sea and then bathe on the rocks under the moonlight..."

 

Louis flicked his eyes sideways, slitting them open to glance at his new friend.

 

"I wasn't bathing."

 

"No," Liam hummed. "Apparently not. But anyway then Harry found you and tried to bring you back but you tried to leave. And that's when you passed out for the second time."

 

Louis flicked his eyes away with a sigh.

 

"Why couldn't I stay passed out," he mumbled and Liam shot him a sorrowful look that creased the worry-lines in his forehead.

 

"Hey...is everything okay?" He asked, shifting closer in the visitors chair. "Like you can tell me if it's not, I won't sell you out..."

 

Louis smiled wanly at the ceiling, the gesture a grimace of bitterness. The man he realised far too late that he couldn't live without hated him. Nothing would ever be okay again.

 

"I just don't want to be here right now," Louis admitted quietly.

 

"We can ring your parents?" Liam suggested, looking to the door where Sophia subtly stood.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

"They didn't want me to leave anyway and if they know about this I'll be kept captive in their mansion," he rolled his eyes.

 

Liam snorted.

 

"Tough life, bro..."

 

Louis managed a small smile, a curve of his lips at the edges.

 

"I'll be okay," Louis assured.

 

"Hey um...Sophia and I have talked about it and we wondered if you wanted to take the spare room for a bit?" Liam suggested. "Just until the physio is done on your shoulder and you're back to normal..."

 

Louis felt the tears track down his cheeks before his sniffled sobs began, painful hiccups of air clawing into his lungs and setting them alight. He didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve any of it and yet he wanted it so badly, so, so badly.

 

"Oh-um..." Liam stood up and gently cupped his shoulder in petty comfort. "It's okay mate, don't um-"

 

Sophia moved across the room and gently sat on the edge of the bed, twisting to curl Louis into her arms. She was a tall woman with dark hair and pretty hazel eyes and Louis thought she was so warm, so lovely and warm where he felt frozen inside.

 

Sophia pulled away when Louis' tears subsided.

 

"Please say you'll come," she murmured and he nodded.

 

//

 

Harry had seen this guy on the beach a few times since the start of summer.

 

He was small, wiry on the skinny side but had this confident step. Not a swagger as much as an air of knowing who he was and not caring.

 

He had dark hair, flipped over with an undercut and scruff on his jaw in a beard, his chest bare and legs quite hirsute.

 

He'd watched him walking up and down, sitting reading books and sucking at popsicles while he worked on the beaches. He'd even stopped a few times to talk about his work and now it seemed, their paths had crossed.

 

"So, Harry-The-Manatee-Rescuer," Zayn licked his lips, a stud through the skin under his lower lip.

 

Harry smiled lop-sidedly.

 

"You free tonight?" Zayn asked.

 

Harry felt himself blush despite the mild flirting that had been going on between the pair of them whilst Harry carried out his vital checks of the sea-water, sand and rocks.

 

"Uh-oh," he choked, flipping his blonde hair back and it fell in a waterfall of messy curls on one side of his head, his green eyes sparkling.

 

Zayn gave him a grin.

 

"Or are you taken?" He wondered belatedly.

 

Harry shook his head with a soft sigh out.

 

"No, not taken, Just...um..."

 

"Just coming out of something?" Zayn guessed easily.

 

Harry swallowed with a tight nod. "Yeah. Yeah, that," he admitted.

 

Zayn shrugged.

 

"Just dinner, I promise. No expectations."

 

Harry looked to the sand, to his bare feet covered in grainy particles. His mother's voice echoed in his ear about trying to get over Louis. He ignored the fact that was nearly impossible when Louis lived right on his doorstep.

 

"Alright," he agreed breathily, apprehension lacing his veins.

 

Zayn looked a bit surprised but he smiled.

 

"Meet me by the statue at eight?"

 

Harry nodded. He was going on his first date in eight months. He just wished he felt happier about it.

 

//

 

His green tree-print white shirt was the right balance of smart/casual, teamed with white jeans and flip-flops, his blonde hair caught up in a bun tidily.

 

Zayn reached up and kissed his cheek when they met and Harry was having trouble breathing still. They may have agreed 'no expectations' but it was still weird for him. Even _imagining_ himself with another man after Louis was proving difficult. As much as he hated his ex, he wasn't _quite_ over him and that frustrated him more than anything.

 

"Hi," he greeted the dark eyed man with a shaky smile.

 

Zayn clasped his hand and squeezed it.

 

"Just dinner," he said with a soft smile.

 

Harry nodded and followed him inside the restaurant.

 

//

 

Harry was nervous; he couldn't deny that.

 

Not because Zayn was a wickedly perfect kind of handsome; with apparently a sweet and patient nature; but because he hadn't dated in a while.

 

Only a short while but still. His heart was hung up on an intense and attractive petite brunette and that was something he couldn't just forget and get over no matter what his mother said.

 

Louis had been his world in their year long romance before the lure of worldwide surfing competitions took Louis away but it was Louis' betrayal that had severed their bond.

 

But still Harry's heart pined. He feared it always would.

 

"Hey...thought you might not show..."

 

Zayn's kind brown eyes warmed with a smile before his lips curved up.

 

"Hi," Harry managed a shaky smile back.

 

"Ready to go inside?" Zayn tipped his head towards the front of the restaurant opposite the statue- an Asian fusion bar.

 

Harry swallowed hard.

 

"Sure."

 

//

 

"Do you have any more of those little chocolate rolls?"

 

Louis sipped at his hand-made Cocoa and pleaded at Sophia with his best sweet smile.

 

Sophia squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek before she got up.

 

"Of course, Louis. I'll bring the rest in."

 

She turned at the door casting her sad eyes over Louis' slightly tense form knowing he was deflecting her from their conversation.

 

Apparently whenever Harry came up, Louis required service. She sighed as she headed out to the kitchen; wishing she could help.

 

//

 

"So you're really the guy that Louis Tomlinson let go?

 

Harry blinked a couple of times, opened his mouth, closed it and then sighed.

 

"Fraid so."

 

"You're the angel that idiot let go?"

 

Harry flushed.

 

"I'm not-I'm not an angel."

 

Zayn smiled softly his fingertip running around the circle of his wine glass rim.

 

"You're blonde and gorgeous and perfect. I think that qualifies."

 

White hot shame rushed over Harry's skin leaving a burning trail in its wake. _He wasn't perfect_. Not even near. And somehow he needed to prove that to show the world that although he was the innocent victim of Louis' hurtful selfish behaviour he was also-

 

 _Fuck_.

 

He was probably at least half of the reason why Louis did it. And he maybe hadn't even thought about that until right this moment. This very _very_ second in fact.

 

He guided his shaky hand to his glass and gulped the contents back hard and fast followed up by wiping the back of his hand across his lips.

 

"I'm far from perfect." He growled.

 

Zayn reached out to cup the hand he'd curled around the stem of his glass.

 

"It's ok."

 

Harry shook his head pressing his knuckles into his eye.

 

"No I don't think it is...I think I fucked it up, I think it's all my fault..."

 

Zayn waited for Harry's hysteria to reduce a little.

 

"How is it your fault Harry?" Zayn wondered.

 

Harry's eyes were wet; his lashes clumped together as he sniffed back tears.

 

"I-I was insecure...like always. I didn't trust him sometimes and I was always comparing myself to other guys..."

 

Zayn tilted his head sympathetically.

 

"I wouldn't undress sometimes when we had sex...I didn't want him to see me naked and-" he gulped in, tears streaming down his face and pooling under his nose which he thumbed away. "And I used to accuse him," he whispered like his biggest. darkest secret was revealed. "I used to tell him to sleep with somebody else; that I wasn't good enough and couldn't give him what he wanted."

 

"He didn't have to listen" Zayn commented and it brought Harry back to the moment with a sharp slam.

 

"Apparently it was only a kiss."

 

"It was enough to hurt," Zayn argued. "And I get that you're probably still hung up on him but I want to see you again if that's okay. I want us to be friends."

 

Harry smiled ironically.

 

"Friends." He repeated with a little depreciative hum.

 

Zayn smirked.

 

"You think you're good for more than that?"

 

Harry smiled back.

 

"I guess not."

 

//

 

It was funny how Karma worked. Louis had always imagined it more for the villains of the world, murderers and mean people who would one day have that moment where the pain and suffering they'd exacted on others was brought back upon themselves.

 

He hadn't really thought he'd be in that bracket.

 

But there it was, right in front of him, ripping the flesh off the wall of his chest and letting his heart spill out onto the sidewalk; pumping his life-force away.

 

 _Harry_.

 

Harry was right there in front of him holding hands with another guy. Another small, dark-haired guy who looked like he could model for the best fashion houses and command the attention of any man he wished.

 

Obviously he wished for Harry.

 

 _Obviously_.

 

Louis swallowed bitterly, ripping his gaze away as Harry smiled, dimples lengthening in his cheeks. He couldn't watch. He couldn't see it all happen in front of his very eyes. If Harry had found happiness with someone else then it was his own cross to bear.

 

He picked up his bleeding heart and cradled it to his chest, warm tear-drops falling on his hands as they clutched it there.

 

//

 

"Hey where've you been?" Liam asked as Louis shuffled in, breath short and strained still from his recovery.

 

"Just for a walk," Louis offered quietly.

 

Sophia glanced at Liam from her perch in the armchair while Liam sprawled on the sofa.

 

"Come and watch Die Hard with us, buddy," he invited, patting the cushion next to him.

 

Louis looked up, dark circles under his eyes and tears pooling in the shadows.

 

"Harry's found someone else," he managed to husk out, gasping as a fresh slice of pain slashed down his chest. "Think I'll get an early night..."

 

He turned to climb the stairs, hearing Sophia's faint call that he hadn't eaten. Louis knew if he ate anything his stomach would only reject it again anyway and that was a waste of Liam's food.

 

He called out that he wasn't hungry and curled up on the guest bed, pulling all the blankets around him in comfort.

 

//

 

"...So, can you believe, he reset the whole scene just because one chicken flew the wrong way?!" Zayn giggled. "A chicken for fuck's sake?"

 

Harry doubled over, his arm clutching his tummy as happy tears expelled from the edges of his eyes, his laughter loud and sharp in the restaurant where the two men gained some minor attention mostly from their good looks.

 

Zayn shook his head as he fondly watched Harry gasp for air.

 

"The life of an actor is not all it's made out to be," he lamented softly.

 

Harry straightened, wiping at his eyes.

 

"Never work with children and animals..." he offered. "Now you know why!"

 

Zayn grinned and nodded, biting his lip a bit as he let his gaze roam Harry's features.

 

They'd shared starters and mains and were considering dessert.

 

"So..." He broached carefully, not wanting to ruin a perfectly good night by pressuring the beautiful blonde opposite him.

 

Harry smiled slowly, cautiously meeting his gaze with a blush.

 

"So..."

 

"Chosen your dessert yet?" Zayn asked, surprising him because Harry dimpled and re-checked the menu.

 

He frowned distractedly as a buzzing began in his pocket.

 

"Oops, sorry just need to see who's-"

 

Harry's frown deepened as Niall's name flashed up on his screen.

 

"I'm sorry, I just need to take this," Harry excused himself in a low voice, twisting away to sneak outside.

 

"Niall, what is it?" He greeted, no pleasantries.

 

"Jeff got hurt, Harry. There was a boat with two guys trying to take the babies and when he tried to stop them they knocked him out..."

 

Harry gasped, eyes widening as adrenaline injected into his veins.

 

"Where abouts? How many did they get?"

 

Niall sighed.

 

"We don't know, we're down by the cove now, a couple got hurt in the fracas..."

 

"I'm coming," Harry clipped, about to end the call when he heard Niall's tinny voice shouting.

 

He put the phone back to his ear.

 

"What?" He clipped, annoyed.

 

"Finish your date, Haz. We can manage." Niall assured.

 

Harry heard the breathlessness in his voice though and the quiver of uncertainty.

 

"I'm coming Niall. See you soon," he said and ended the call before his friend could argue

 

//

 

Zayn had been more than gracious, offering to drop Harry at the centre to get his wet gear before taking the taxi home.

 

Harry had kissed his cheek in thanks and headed inside to suit up, jogging down to the cove with a torch and loading up the boat with cages and blankets and the animal medical kit in case they needed to treat the manatees on site.

 

He took a deep breath as he jumped into the boat, looking skywards.

 

 _Please don't let any of them die tonight_ , he prayed.

 

//

 

By the time Harry made it to the cove Niall had rounded up the handful of injured animals and was taking care of Jeff.

 

They moved him into the gulley of the boat carefully, wrapping him in heat blankets before caging the three baby manatees that needed medical attention back at the base.

 

"They'll be okay," Niall squeezed Harry's arm as his jaw clenched and eyes shot dark thunder into the horizon on the ride back.

 

Harry glanced at him.

 

"But who's doing this?" He wondered. "And why?"

 

Niall shrugged.

 

"I don't know...it's not like the whales where they can sell the meat and manatees aren't exactly the latest exotic pet..."

 

Harry grimaced.

 

"They're stealing them for a reason and we need to find out what it is."

 

"I know," Niall nodded. "Let's just concentrate on getting this lot fixed up first though," he suggested. "We can work out the rest later."

 

//

 

Louis liked to sit out on the cove in amongst the baby manatees.

 

He'd started his physio and swimming was allowed now and after much lecturing from Liam he'd invested in a wet-suit and buoyancy aid for his water-based exercise.

 

Of course, the feeling in his chest hadn't subsided and he couldn't get the image out of his head of Harry with that other guy but-

 

Louis was trying to get on with his life.

 

He sighed out as he realised Island Of Hope wasn't going to be the place he achieved that no matter how optimistic Liam was; and how much time passed him by. He was never going to get over Harry so he had to face the brutal reality of finding another place to live.

 

It filled him with sadness and dread. He wanted to stay here, in the middle of this ocean and lose himself in the anonymity of it all.

 

The soft honks of the animals beside him reminded him he wasn't really alone. One of the babies shuffled over and laid it's cute face on his thigh. He smiled and honked back at the creature, watching the sun disappear under the waves.

 

That meant it was time to go home before Liam called his house only to find him not there in which case he wouldn't put it past him to call out the coast guards amid a panic.

 

It was weird having somebody care about him, somebody who wanted to know he'd got home safely and hadn't tried to drown himself on the way back. Louis felt his chest tighten a bit at that; at how it felt to have Liam as his only protector.

 

He was about to slip off the rock into the water to begin the swim back- which Louis could do in two parts, treading water for ten minutes in between- when the familiar sound of a motorboat hummed nearby and the vehicle approached.

 

Only this time, Louis was prepared.  He stood up, wandering to the edge of the cove to ward the poachers off. He had an inkling that these guys were stealing the babies that gathered here and he wasn't about to let them hurt his animals.

 

"Hey, shove off!" He called out sharply.

 

The boat approached anyway and two burly guys unboarded, one coming right for him causing him to stagger back.

 

"Hey, what are you-"

 

A fist landed in his stomach winding him, causing him to drop to the ground. _Fuck_! What was this?

 

He curled his arms around his torso, kicks swifted to his forearms and into his kidneys.

 

"Ah!" He writhed away from the onslaught, hissing as his face was brought around, another blow landing to his cheek and lip, splitting it.

 

"Fuck you," he spat out blood, curling up tight.

 

"Get them four," he heard the non-aggressor demand as he tried to open his good eye, the throbbing burning pain of his injuries making it water excessively.

 

He watched helplessly as the baby manatees were carried to the boat, the animals loaded in the back as they wriggled to escape. Louis closed his eyes and shivered, sensing a shadow floating over him.

 

"Tell anyone and we'll find you and kill you," the voice threatened darkly, spitting out and swifting a kick into Louis' groin.

 

He swallowed on a sore, gritty throat and realised he could well die out here anyway. And he hadn't even told Harry that he loved him, still. That he had never _stopped_ loving him. _And that he would love him until time ran out_.

 

He sagged into the rock letting it leech his heat. He didn't need it anyway. Harry would never love him back. He'd never surf again the way he wanted to thanks to the complications of his injury and he had nothing good to add to this world.

 

He just hoped he got into heaven so he could start afresh and be given the chance to create something positive at last. He just hoped it wouldn't hurt on the way in.

 

//

 

_"Lou, where are you taking me?"_

_Harry stumbled a bit as Louis quickened down the sand with Harry's hand twined in his._

_"Come on, before it's too late..." Louis panted._

_Harry couldn't help his giggle, low and delighted as he began to hasten after him._

_"Louis!" He laughed as Louis ran around the corner on the beach, pulling Harry into the cave they often found solace in._

_"Shh," Louis pushed him against the cool stone wall, tiptoeing to kiss him, slow and hot. Their lips angled together, their breaths mingled as they panted out between brushes of their lips._

_"Lou," Harry growled, tightening his arms around Louis' waist suggestively._

_Louis huffed his fringe out of his eye that had fallen from Harry's touch on his hair._

_"Come on, beautiful," Louis took his hand and turned, creeping further into the cave._

_It was darker but still enough light to see._

_There in the shadow lay a heap of small bodies, mottled grey with dark freckles almost seal-like in their make-up._

_"Manatees?" Harry gasped twisting to Louis to check._

_Louis nodded._

_"You don't have to go all the way to Tybee Island. I found you some right here..."_

_Harry smiled slowly._

_"They don't belong in California..."_

_Louis bit his lip, rolling his eyes._

_"No, they were found on the shore, lost, and the coast guards are getting advice on  how to move them," he admitted. "But I heard about it and-"_

_Louis stumbled back as their roles were reversed and Harry pressed him into the wall, his big hands tickling under his t-shirt to glide against flesh._

_"Louis," Harry whispered against his lips, quiet and desperate._

_Louis tilted his lips to kiss him back._

_"I know, sweetheart...I did it for you. I love you, Harry."_

_Harry groaned and wrapped him in, big body covering Louis' completely as their lips reconnected._

_He pulled away as voices sounded outside the entrance to the cave, pressing his forehead against Louis' reverently._

_"I love you too."_

_//_

 

 

"Lou?" Harry sat on the edge of his bed, listening to the steady blip of his heartbeat.

 

He couldn't help it, the way his hand reached and turned so he could smooth the back of it against Louis' forehead, checking for fever. He let out a relieved breath when he felt none.

 

When he'd found Louis out on the rock -unconscious again- he'd reverted to panic mode but when he'd realised Louis had been attacked, Harry's chest had burned with anger at the perpetrators.

 

Louis' eye was swollen shut, his cheek bearing a dark red bruise and his lip split. His forearms were scuffed as they lay above the covers and Harry's gaze fell on the delicate protrusion of his collarbones, a place he used to love kissing.

 

Used to bruise with _love_.

 

Harry's eyes darted to his bad shoulder, supported with a sling. Luckily it hadn't borne an impact like his torso and face but the doctors were being cautious since apparently Louis had surgery on his tendons not so long ago.

 

Harry had read about that, had seen the demise of Louis' success very quickly torn down in the media and at the time he'd felt some kind of sick satisfaction that Louis had lost the one thing that had taken him away from Harry. His surfing.

 

But sat here now, seeing Louis' hurt little body laid there vulnerably; he didn't have it in him to hate. He just wanted Louis to open his eyes and tell him he was okay and then he could walk away again.

 

His heart twisted painfully in his chest. He _wanted_ to walk away. Whether his heart would let him was another thing.

 

//

 

It was another few hours before Harry was let back into the room; having been told that Louis wasn't allowed visitors while the Doctor did the rounds.

 

He slowly loped into the room, pausing at the end of his bed with a nervous hover.

 

"Lou, are you okay? They said you were awake?"

 

Louis' eyes stayed closed but Harry noticed his lungs fill with air and expel a sigh.

 

"Why am I here?" He asked the room, his voice a whispery husk.

 

Harry moved around the side of the bed to get closer.

 

"The guys who are stealing the manatees beat you up," Harry explained.

 

"I mean _alive_ ," Louis mused. "Should be dead by now." He added under his breath.

 

Harry still heard the words. And somehow, they hurt him. He may not like Louis very much right now but hearing _anyone_ say they'd rather be dead was painful. Hearing _Louis_ say those words had his heart thumping hard, screaming at him to _do something_.

 

"You don't want to be dead," Harry told him but not in a condescending way that disregarded Louis' feelings, just in a soft, coercive way. "Think of what you'd be missing out on for a start..."

 

Louis tried to roll over to face away from Harry but it was his bad shoulder's side and he grimaced uncomfortably.

 

Harry drifted away from the bed to look out of the hospital window.

 

"I'd be missing feeling like a fucking scumbag loser who can't even-"

 

Harry turned quickly as Louis choked on his words, retching up as he scrabbled to get upright.

 

"Hey...hey," Harry dashed to grab a cardboard tray, cupping Louis' good shoulder and holding it beneath his chin.

 

Louis' eyes squeezed shut and he looked away but Harry didn't miss the tremor in his hands and body.

 

"Are you cold?" He asked.

 

Louis shook his head, leaning forward and snatching the tray from Harry who watched Louis be sick in it- a minor amount of liquid leaving his stomach.

 

"Here," Harry wadded some tissues and handed them to the sick man, pouring him a glass of water.

 

Louis shook his head at it.

 

"Just make me sick again," he accused.

 

Harry slid his hand from Louis' shoulder across his back; stepping closer the tiniest amount. When his hand cupped Louis' neck, he felt cold and hot all at once. Harry curled his fingers gently against his skin.

 

"Drink this," he said lowly.

 

Louis flicked a look sideways, not upwards to meet Harry's gaze but enough for Harry to know the annoyance in those grey orbs was aimed at him.

 

"Don't tell me you've become a Doctor, too," he mused, taking the cup.

 

When he realised that holding the thing wasn't enough to persuade Harry to leave, he begrudgingly drank from it.

 

Harry let his hand glide down from his neck to between his shoulder blades, his back bare and visible through the hospital gown he was wearing. He looked thin, Harry observed. He looked like a husk of the man he once knew.

 

"Looks like you need one," Harry said as he moved away again, back in front of the window.

 

"The plan was to leave town," Louis remarked. "Liam the bastard talked me into staying."

 

"He seems nice," Harry said and Louis found it weird that Harry had met his new friend somehow, maybe visiting at the same time or something.

 

"I guess," Louis allowed begrudgingly.

 

"Niall likes you, too," Harry added. And there was another mutual friend that linked Louis to Harry in his new town.

 

"Must be crazy," Louis mumbled.

 

Harry looked over, the sunlight hazing his body; illuminating the blonde in his hair and washing out his tan skin.

 

"I'm sorry you got hurt trying to protect the animals," he posed.

 

His first thoughts lately were always with the animals and the fact Louis had gotten hurt protecting them made something squiggle in his belly.

 

"So who's the guy?" Louis asked and it wasn't a question Harry was expecting.

 

"Which guy?" He wondered.

 

Louis scoffed.

 

"The little good looking one?" He posed. "Dark hair and eyes, stunning face..."

 

Harry frowned, racking his brain for which one of his friends fulfilled that description.

 

"Are you talking about Zayn?" He turned toward the bed and Louis curled towards his bad side again so Harry swapped sides; perching on the sill of the internal window which was blinded.

 

"If that's his name," Louis mused.

 

"I-" Harry began and then frowned.

 

He should be mad right now. He should be livid that Louis was asking about Zayn in such an accusatory manner when he had no right to. He had no right to know and no right to care. But that rang bells in Harry's head. Did Louis care? Still, after all this time?

 

Wasn't that weird considering how quickly and easily he'd abandoned Harry and broken their trust? It didn't add up to the image Harry had built of Louis in his mind. Devil-may-care attitude, confidence to leave all he knew behind and blindly glide into a whole new life with no feeling for anything he left behind.

 

Only-

 

Louis _did_ feel something. Harry knew that. The way he'd cried down the phone when Harry had ended things told him that but seeing Louis like this; wondering if he might actually be a tiny bit jealous...

 

Did Louis believe Harry had moved on? And was Louis hurt because of it?

 

If Louis had seen him with Zayn on their date then--

 

 _Fuck_.

 

Had Louis swum too far out in the icy water to avoid the reality of watching Harry get over him?

 

Harry could be really cruel right now, could spin a line about dating Zayn knowing his new friend would go along with that. But this Louis- this very fragile, bone-thin Louis was not someone he wanted to play games with or hurt any more than he already was.

 

Truth be told he just wanted to feed him up and keep him warm and sometimes he surprised himself with his benevolence.

 

"Zayn's just a friend," Harry offered.

 

Louis made a disbelieving smirk.

 

"You don't have to soften the blow just because I almost died," Louis assured. "In fact if you give me another it might actually finish me off..."

 

"Stop saying that," Harry's voice was soft yet firm as he stormed towards the bed. "Louis, please," Harry beseeched. "Nothing is so bad that you can't fix it, right?"

 

Louis flicked his eyes away and curled onto his good side leaving Harry having to make a decision.

 

If he wanted to walk away now, nobody could blame him. But he couldn't help the twinge of guilt that flickered through him because Louis wasn't solely responsible for the downfall of their relationship. Harry had been overly dependent and clingy with him and in the months since then he'd become his own person; he'd worked hard to put those demons to rest.

 

He had some way to go but the question wasn't if Harry would forgive Louis for his betrayal; because Louis kissing a girl and losing himself in the excitement of his surfing wasn't all bad.

 

The question was if they could make it if they tried again.

 

And Harry wasn't sure of the answer.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

_(Flashback)_

 

_"Where've you been?"_

_Harry's seated position on the fifth step up the stairs hid him from Louis' view as he slipped into the living room entry hallway, startling at Harry's deep-voiced words._

_Louis rolled his eyes._

_"Work meeting...have to wine and dine the sponsors, you know how it is..."_

_Harry blinked, swallowing tightly._

_"I know you like blondes," he said flatly but it was a clear accusation._

_Louis took a quick breath._

_"I do...beautiful ones with curls," he tried for charming._

_"Were there any there tonight?" Harry wondered._

_Louis closed his eyes in trying to remember._

_"Nope...none that left any lasting impression on me, at least."_

_"Why didn't you invite me?" Harry asked. "I could've come when I finished at the practice."_

_Louis sighed._

_"Harry, you know I'm not allowed to bring you to work functions. You were there the last time Howard gave me a dressing-down about it. Come on, babe..."_

_Harry slowly stood from the stair._

_"Don't 'babe' me," he warned, turning and stomping up the staircase leaving Louis to follow after him._

_"Harry..." Louis pushed into the bedroom after Harry tried to shunt the door shut in his face. "I couldn't bring you, I'm sorry, okay? Me and you can have a date tomorrow night, how does that sound?"_

_"It sounds like shit, Louis," Harry accused. "It sounds like I'm the after-thought here, not your stupid job."_

_Louis shrank into himself a bit._

_"It's not stupid if I love doing it." He said and the words were quiet and brittle, ready to be broken on touch._

_"You seem to love doing it more than you love me," Harry observed with a brow arch, arms folded across his chest._

_Louis moved towards him resolutely, clasping firm hands around his forearms and breaking his protective stance. He shuffled closer until Harry's arms were by his sides and then he tiptoed, folding his own arms around Harry's neck, pressing close._

_"You know what?" Louis asked with the tiniest smirk._

_Harry flicked his eyes away with a sigh, his hands itching to touch Louis' warm, pliant body pressed into his._

_Louis nosed up his jaw, sucking kisses there that made Harry gasp in air and fight down the whiney noises he urged to make._

_"I love doing **you** ," Louis expressed. "I love doing you more than anything else..."_

_Harry blushed and twitched, his hands unconsciously falling in the dip at the bottom of Louis' spine. Louis grinned against Harry's jaw._

_"Do you still love me doing you?" Louis asked._

_Harry's hands enclosed a bit on him, flattening against skin. His little fingers seemed to be making room under the edge of his t-shirt for more fingers to burrow in, stealth-style. Louis hummed as Harry's hands glided up his skin under his top._

_"You know the answer to that," Harry whispered, still slightly stubbornly looking away._

_Louis kissed beside his pouty lips._

_"Tell me," Louis begged._

_One of Harry's hands snuck back out from under his top and slid down, curving into the shape of his protruding behind, squeezing there gently as Harry's face turned inwards, a dimpled grin pressing into Louis' temple._

_"I love it when you do me," Harry caved, weakening as Louis' fingers played with his hair, tangling into the soft part at the back._

_Louis kissed over his lips, a tender-sweet brush of his lips. Harry didn't let the question go unanswered, kissing him back slowly but equally sweet._

_Louis gently trailed his hair back as they parted._

_"Are you still mad at me?" He asked with a cheeky smile._

_Harry sighed._

_"Get in bed, Tommo before I change my mind and throw you out...."_

_Louis laughed and threw his top off, jumping onto the mattress in his jeans._

_"Ta-da! All yours, beautiful!"_

_Harry rolled his eyes with a shake of his head._

_"Why did I ever let you talk me into this?" He muttered as he slid in beside his beau, wriggling into a comfortable position._

_Louis soon persuaded him onto his back, crawling between his thighs._

_"So I could do you," Louis answered Harry's question. "Since we're so good at this, it's only fair to try again and make sure it's not a fluke..."_

_And it wasn't a fluke. It was never a fluke. Their passion was always scorching; the pleasure toe-curlingly intense. It still was, really._

Harry woke up with wetness on his thighs and his hand around himself from his dark-passioned dreams.

 

He could still taste Louis on his lips _._

_//_

Harry went back to the hospital.

 

Louis was sitting up in bed, propped up on a mound of pillows that made him look like he was idling among the clouds. He was looking out of the window with a blank expression, his lunch uneaten in front of him.

 

Harry bit his lip as he uncurled from the doorway where he'd spent a moment assessing the scene and he moved into the room confidently, ridding his jacket.

 

"Don't tell me they're still giving patients Jell-O?" He mused warmly, poking the small pot of red and orange layered substance.

 

Louis' eyes flicked from the hazy grey of the outside, the sun a thin streak in a cloudy sky.

 

Harry let those intense stormy irises meet his and held them, his lashes flickering only a fraction in fear. His heart was so loud thudding in his chest. He moved forward, picking up the spoon that was laid by the pot and comforted himself on the bed edge.

 

He carefully peeled off the foil lid and dug out half a spoonful of the orange layer, leaning forward to bring the spoon closer to Louis' lips.

 

"Gonna eat it then?" He asked softly. "You used to love it when I made Jell-O," he recalled.

 

It was a mistake to let the memories in, though. Because with one innocent comment came a rush of other memories involving Louis and food.

 

Rolling around naked on the fur rug trying to lick off strawberry cheese-cake ice cream from Louis' body before it glued Louis to the cream fur and stained it pink. Louis eating cooked bacon and sausages with fingertips while he read through a promotional magasine. Harry having chocolate cake eaten off his belly on his birthday-and getting to eat it off of Louis' ass after.

 

Harry swallowed and reminded himself not to get carried away.

 

Louis was staring at him.

 

Harry slipped the Jell-O into his own mouth.

 

"Mmm," he arched a brow with a smirk. "You sure you don't want any?"

 

Louis finally sighed, fidgeting a bit, trying to dig his elbows into the pillow mound to hitch himself up.

 

"Can I feed myself or have I been regressed to childhood?" He wondered.

 

Harry's eyes twinkled as he rolled the orange jelly around his mouth.

 

"Don't be stubborn," Harry teased. "You're recovering still so it makes sense that I feed you..."

 

Louis lifted a single brow but didn't argue, merely opening his mouth for the first spoonful.

 

Harry made a show of it, turning it into an aeroplane along with sound effects and he couldn't help giggling as Louis messed up the eating part, dribbling some down his chin.

 

"You could at least try and get it in my mouth," Louis mumbled.

 

"Ah, no talking with your mouth full," Harry chided, shoving more Jell-O Louis' way with an amused flush in his cheeks.

 

Harry eyed the uneaten sandwich on the plate covered in Clingfilm.

 

"Not hungry then?" He asked as Louis sulkily chewed on his dessert.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"You always did like your desserts first," Harry murmured, almost kicking himself for dragging up another memory, a fond one that wasn't tinged with the bitterness of their split.

 

Louis finished the Jell-O with an expectant look.

 

"You're going to try and make me eat the sandwich, too, aren't you?" He mused.

 

Harry smiled, his dimple popping in his cheek.

 

"Well at least it makes my job easier when you don't fight me every step of the way," he joked.

 

Only Louis blinked confusedly at him, stilling tensely.

 

"Are you-" He paused, clearing his throat. "Is this a job to you?"

 

Harry's expression changed completely, from warm, teasing happiness to horrified realisation.

 

"I'm a vet, Lou," he said soft with husk. "A bit of a glorified one now, but I still specialise in animal care. Haven't crossed over into nursing humans just yet," he added. "You're my first, anyway."

 

Louis' chin lifted and those incredible blue eyes seemed to laser-scan through Harry's entire soul.

 

_You're my first._

 

Harry knew exactly what Louis was thinking and it left him breathless and weak.

 

_"Harry, are you sure about this? You're sure you want it to be with me?"_

_Harry cupped Louis' cheek and squeezed his thighs into Louis' sides._

_"Never been surer."_

He was blinking, slow and stunned as Louis stared. Because he felt like Louis was trying to work out if he was still Harry's only sexual partner and Louis didn't really have any right to know that or wonder about it.

 

The fact he _was_ though made Harry ache deep inside.

 

"So am I getting my sandwich or what?" Louis asked, flicking his gaze away.

 

Harry almost offered to plug his mouth shut with a part of his body but somehow he managed to resist. Louis was still so tiny and breakable and he needed warmth and love to bring him back to health.

 

He reminded Harry of an injured hedgehog- all defensive, barbing prickles protecting a very prone body and mind.

 

Luckily for Louis, Harry was an expert in hedgehog care.

 

//

 

"You don't need to ask me if I remember you know."

 

Louis' voice was soft and husky. Harry had curled up sideways in a comfy arm-chair, his legs tucked up to his chest, feet curling over the arm-rest. He lowered his book with a neutral expression.

 

Louis had been asleep for a few hours after lunch and Harry had been kicked out until visiting re-opened.

 

He wasn't sure who was more surprised to find him back there- Louis or himself. He waited for Louis to say something else.

 

"It's not like I could ever forget."

 

Harry rubbed his lips together.

 

"Wasn't sure if you hit your head and got amnesia," he joked only his voice was too quiet to really pull off the humour.

 

"I remember how you'd taste like strawberries after breakfast because you'd always sneak a spoonful of jam to go with your oatmeal..." Louis began, looking at the blanket while Harry shifted a bit, one leg sliding down until his socked foot touched the floor.

 

"I remember how hot and perfect you felt when you were hard in my mouth..."

 

Harry sucked in a gasp, a blush instantly burning his cheeks. Louis carried on regardless, deep in his own head somewhere and Harry didn't want to rush him out.

 

"I remember how for the first two months I was away I missed kissing you every fucking day," he admitted, finally looking over to seek Harry's reaction.

 

"Lou..."

 

"And now I just accept that it's part of a punishment I deserve for hurting you. I realise it's my burden to bear."

 

Harry closed his eyes and sighed, a heavy feeling clunking around his chest. He didn't want Louis to feel hurt anymore, he didn't want him to punish himself. Harry knew now how much his behaviour had triggered Louis' wild release and every day he came back here, he felt all the worse.

 

Louis wasn't blameless. But Harry had treated him pretty badly when he'd first discovered he was in town. But Louis needed closure and Harry was willing to give him that much.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you," Harry said.

 

Louis maybe wasn't expecting the words. He frowned.

 

"What?"

 

Harry swallowed and cleared his throat, sitting up a bit and splitting his book across the arm of the chair, leaning forward a bit.

 

"I said I'm sorry that I didn't trust you," Harry repeated. "I know now that I drove you away."

 

Louis looked at him, stared until he had to blink.

 

"It makes me sick thinking how I've hurt you," Louis shared. "How I threw something so brilliant away."

 

"You didn't throw me away," Harry argued softly. " _I_ threw _you_ away."

 

"Because I was an idiot." Louis accepted.

 

Harry bit into his bottom lip and got up, tucking his nervous hands into his back pockets. His t-shirt stretched across his chest and tightened against his peaked nipples.

 

"I called your Mom, you know," Harry said then.

 

Louis frowned.

 

"I didn't know."

 

"Just to ask how you were, just to make sure, after..." He hinted at the accident that left Louis with one arm still in a sling.

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"What did she say?"

 

"She told me that I had no right knowing how you were," he mused. "That I was the cause of your accident because you were so distracted by our fight."

 

Louis sighed.

 

"She was right," he whispered.

 

Harry's gaze snapped to the bed.

 

Louis smiled bitterly.

 

"I think somewhere deep down I was trying to punish myself even then."

 

Harry's eyes grew wide and stunned at the implications of Louis' words. Everything that Louis had done that had resulted in his injury had been some form of self-harm to punish himself for betraying Harry's trust.

 

It was too much to hear, too much to face.

 

He began to back away, stumbling jerkily as he twisted to get his boots, jamming his feet into them while trying to ignore the ripping pain in his chest and wetness at the edges of his eyes.

 

There was no way that Harry was a person who was worth dying for and it was overwhelming to hear Louis admitting that's how he felt. None of it made any sense and Harry couldn't hear anymore so he covered his ears with his hands and he ran.

 

He ran as fast as he could.

 

//

 

"Hey!"

 

Louis looked up under his thick lashes to a smiley, brown-eyed face.

 

"Liam," he said flatly.

 

"Is that all I get?" Liam teased with a wink. "No fanfare, no declarations of missing me?"

 

Louis arched a brow.

 

Liam's smile turned soft.

 

"It's alright mate, I understand. It's a minefield expressing affection when you're male...just let me tell you that I'm massively happy to see you and I'm chuffed you're still breathing."

 

"Thanks Liam, I love you, too," Louis drawled.

 

Liam's eyes lit up and he gasped, a happy wide grin taking over his face.

 

"You do? Aw, Louis..." Liam strode in to hug him apparently, since Louis was taken by surprise and left weakly hugging the other man in return.

 

Louis softened a bit with another eye-roll and a puffing of his fringe out of his eyes.

 

"Can you break me out?" Louis asked interestedly.

 

Liam gave him a patient look.

 

"Your shoulder is still settling and you're still having meds for almost dying," he reminded.

 

"Harry came by," he blurted then, blushing a bit after.

 

Liam's lips made an 'o' shape.

 

"What did he say?"

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"Stuff."

 

Liam snorted.

 

"Okay. Then..." he frowned, looking around. "Where is he now?"

 

Louis looked genuinely remorseful.

 

"Think I scared him off with my suicidal tendencies," Louis joked; brittle and stark.

 

Liam cupped his shoulder.

 

"You're just trying to stop it hurting, Louis," he encouraged gently. "I get it, you know..."

 

"I don't," Louis argued. "I can't eat because I'm so sick of myself that I just throw it all up and how many times have you guys pulled me out of the ice-cold water and saved my life now?"

 

"Not enough times," Liam inserted firmly. "Never enough."

 

Louis knew what he meant; that he'd do it over and over to rescue Louis' melancholic soul.

 

"Louis..."

 

Liam's voice was hesitant.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Do you uh...would you consider going to a facility?" Liam posed. "Like a place to help you not feel like this anymore who could help you like yourself again?"

 

Louis blinked rapidly, tears gathering in his eyes.

 

 _Fuck, things were that bad_? He hadn't even known. His best friend was telling him to book into the asylum and the worst thing was he wasn't even opposed to it because sounded safe and warm there but what if Louis never got out again? He'd never get to see the sea and take his board for a float again.

 

"You think I should?" He asked Liam on a shaky voice with blood-shot eyes, biting his lip as saliva built in his mouth making him choke.

 

Liam sucked a long breath in and moved near to the bed, leaning over and scooping Louis into his arms where he held him tightly, pressing his cheek into Louis' hair.

 

"If you promise to eat I'll help you," he offered.

 

Louis let himself be hugged, hesitantly hugging back.

 

"Oh yeah? What qualifications do you have that a psycho nurse doesn't then?" He teased huskily.

 

Liam smirked as he pulled away.

 

"I'll let you have contraband for a start," he bargained.

 

Louis smiled wanly.

 

"I cant impose on you and Sophia again," he said. "It's better that I check in some place professional."

 

"It's better that you're with friends," Liam argued.

 

Louis looked at his _only_ friend, a man who had already put up with a lot just to take that role in his life.

 

"What's it like having me as a best friend?" Louis wondered, looking at this from Liam's angle. There was absolutely nothing Louis brought to his life that made it better.

 

Liam curled him close for a long, tight minute.

 

"Who said you're my _best_ friend?" He asked nonchalantly as he pulled away but Louis caught the glean in his eyes and tucked a smile into his mouth.

 

Something felt warm in his chest and he thought it just might be his heart.

 

//

 

_"Fuck...yeah..."_

_"Yeah?" Louis' voice is raspy, questioning. Because he's so into this he's almost beyond caring if Harry's liking it._

_Almost._

_"Yeah...Lou, fuck..."_

_Louis thinks he **is** fucking. He's curled over Harry's back while they do this doggy style only Harry's hands are clenched around the bed header and Louis is tucked in tight behind him; arms diagonal across his chest one under one over connecting in the middle._

_It's giving Louis the best leverage and-_

_"Ah! Ah..."_

_He's nearly mindless at the way Harry's grunting and gasping and pushing back with sleek quivering thighs._

_It's tight inside him. Hot and oh-so-sweet. Louis felt like coming the moment he thrust in but Harry deserves a full orgasm and Louis is  definitely the guy who'll be giving it to him._

_"Mine," he growls and Harry shivers with a whimper._

_Turns out Harry's quite popular with the surfing crowd Ĺouis commands. Apparently his long strong body and beautifully long blonde curly hair is a bit of a draw. Apparently some of the other surfers felt the need to proposition Harry, to touch him._

_"Oh! Oh, Lou," it's weak and low but Louis revels in it._

_He repeats the action that caused the outburst- circling his hips and grinding in deep._

_"Feel me yet, beautiful? How do I feel?"_

_"Thick," Harry chokes out the word as though it's sticky in his mouth drawing air back into his lungs through his nostrils which flare daintily. "So good," he adds softly._

_Louis flicks his hips pressing his chest into Harry's back._

_"Like it like this hm?" Louis observes. "You love it don't you..."_

_Harry is nodding, groans releasing between the bobbing of his throat when he swallows which is frequently as he keeps licking his lips._

_"Yours," he manages obediently. He knows why Louis is so hard, so claiming._

_He turned down four guys and a girl at the beach today. Evidently Louis felt the need to remind Harry who he belongs to._

_Louis releases one hand from Harry's chest, circling his nipples with the one that stays there and using the other to stroke into the golden mass Louis loves so much on his beau._

_"Yeah look at you taking me," he murmurs, fingers tightening in the flaxen strands._

_Harry pushes back instinctively arching his back low._

_"O-Oh," it's a gasp of pleasure that slips from Harry's mouth as Louis screws right in. "L-Lou..."_

_Louis' arms have  tightened back around him as he works in deep and tight pressing into Harry's back._

_"Love the way you feel around me," Louis husks circling his hips slowly so that Harry clutches at him. "How you go tight like that..."_

_Harry whimpers, his muscles fluttering._

_"That's so fucking beautiful," Louis compliments. "You make me feel like I'm the only man in the world for you."_

_Harry leans forward with a pleasured sigh out; a frustrated expellation of air at not being finished yet, at not being allowed to peak._

_He tries to escape the thick invasion of Louis' dick but Louis curls close and gently rocks his hips to flush into him like the waves of the sea._

_He hates it when Louis makes him come without a hand on his dick; it just proves how badly Harry needs him and he doesn't want Louis to know that, not ever._

_"I can feel how close you are," Louis whispers against his ear nosing into his hair as his hips flick over and over; hard and sweet at the same time._

_"No!" Harry whines, tears edging his eyes._

_It's too much pleasure, too intense. He needs Louis to wrap a hand around him to stop him blasting into space._

_"Oh yeah?" Louis smirks. "Love it when you come hard."_

_And Harry does come hard, just as Louis sinks deep again with a little breathless gasp of his own moaning through his release._

_Harry is choking through his, his chest painting with his semen and his body falling forward to find solace against the covers._

_When Louis falls with him Harry lets out a tiny shocked squeak from where Louis is still within him, the force of the fall bruising his sensitive rim._

_"Sorry," Louis gruffs, kissing the back of his neck, his fingers pushing his hair away to find hot skin. "You feel so good..."_

_Harry writhes a bit, loving the way Louis pets his hair after like always. He feels Louis smile between his shoulder blades._

_"Too much?" He asks._

_Harry smiles and sighs weakly._

_"No..."_

_Louis gently sucks into his skin leaving a love bite there._

 

//

 

It took Harry three days to work up the courage to visit Liam's place.

 

Even then it had taken several conversations with Liam and constant encouragement from Niall. Well it was more of a bullying campaign but when Harry was stood on the veranda of the modest town-house, he was secretly thankful at his work mate and best friend for making him come.

 

Because without Niall's fierce voice telling him not to come back before at least an hour visiting Louis; Harry thought he might easily have twisted back around by now and headed back to his car from the long walk up the path onto the deck.

 

He let out a nervous breath, brushing his palms down his thighs.

 

"Come on, Haz, you can do this," he told himself in a low, quiet voice.

 

_"You've always done that, you know."_

 

The voice was scratchy and distant and Harry's brows furrowed as he looked around, only now taking in the surroundings; a seating area to his right. There was a corner settee unit there and a small body was curled up under a blanket.

 

 _Louis_.

 

Harry cleared his throat a bit.

 

"Um," he turned towards the voice and human mound. "Done what?"

 

Harry watched as Louis shifted, propping onto his elbow and flinging out his other arm to stretch and yawn at the same time.

 

"Talked to yourself," Louis answered, rubbing his eye.

 

Harry moved toward him steadily, eyeing him warily and biting at his lower lip.

 

"Do I make any sense?" He asked.

 

Louis couldn't help but smile softly, fondness softening his features.

 

"Mostly. Except in your sleep," he added. "Had some real interesting chats with you at night."

 

Harry hovered in front of Louis, frowning slightly. His chest ached with wanting to hold him, with wanting to curl him up in strong arms and protect him from this world.

 

It was unspoken, the move they both made next. Louis leaned up a bit to make room for Harry's body which was already leaning forward and lowering into the space. Louis maybe didn't realise until Harry had settled that he now had to either rest against Harry's thighs or twist around and sit up completely.

 

Neither of them seemed to want to break the moment and Harry's soft grunted hum was enough to have Louis lowering his shoulder to the seat, his cheek laying on Harry's thigh, his head nestled in his lap.

 

Harry sucked in a little breath of surprise, his hands twitching where they were gripping the back of the seat.

 

"You never talked much in your sleep," Harry said then and Louis realised he was continuing the theme of their so-far conversation. "You just made these cute little noises like-"

 

"A bear," Louis interceded with an eye roll Harry couldn't see. Louis folded his arms petulantly, re-settling in Harry's lap. "Thanks for reminding me."

 

Harry did let his touch-eager hand fall then, landing right in Louis' hair. Louis flinched a bit at the unseen movement, but then he sighed and relaxed again. Harry let his fingers dig into the glossy brown strands until his fingertips met warm, slightly oily skin. Louis hummed, eyes growing heavy again having been woken from his afternoon sleep.

 

"You look good," Harry murmured. "Are you being fed here?"

 

Louis smirked, eyes closed now.

 

"Four times a day," he answered derisively. "And a dessert after dinner, too. Honestly, Hazza, these people are barbarians."

 

Harry chuckled, knocking his head back and then letting it roll around until it hit his shoulder. He let his other hand slide onto his right thigh, next to Louis' resting head.

 

"I'm glad," he said only, not sure how to broach the topic really. "And um-"

 

"Can you stay for a while?" Louis asked, his voice whispery.

 

Harry leaned over, saw the blissful smoothness on his features as he apparently slipped into sleep.

 

"Yeah, of course," he answered easily. "Of course, Lou."

 

His right hand surged off his thigh into his hair, letting his left curl around his little shoulder.

 

His little hedgehog with his spikes down, his body mending. All that was left was his mind.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continued kudo and comments.
> 
> I lost my beautiful chinchilla last week and I've been heart broken but you guys always make me smile.
> 
> Ang

Liam was welcoming despite the surprised look he gave Harry when he finally came onto the veranda.

 

"Oh hi...didn't realise we had a visitor..."

 

Harry smiled.

 

"Sorry I just kind of slipped in here with Lou..."

 

Liam waved him off.

 

"Do you want a drink? I was just about to wake Louis for afternoon tea..."

 

Harry had to dimple at that.

 

"Thanks for getting him to eat, by the way."

 

Liam blinked carefully.

 

"It was a condition of his stay," he admitted.

 

Harry reluctantly withdrew his fingers from the soft, chestnut hair.

 

"I'll have some tea with you if that's okay," Harry answered Liam's original question.

 

Liam smiled, his brown eyes lighting up.

 

"I got coffee and walnut cake today," he shared. "It's Louis' favourite..."

 

Harry blinked three times fast, a bemused smile tainting his lips.

 

"He always used to love chocolate cupcakes," he murmured, finally coaxing his other hand off Louis' shoulder. "I guess not everything stays the same."

 

"When you try this cake, I think your favourite will change too," Liam teased with a twinkle. "Can you wake up that lump and bring him in before it gets dark and he freezes?" He mused of Louis' slumber.

 

Harry gave him a lop-sided smirk.

 

"I'll do my best, boss..."

 

Liam laughed at the term and tumbled back into the house while Harry worked out the best way to wake Louis.

 

//

 

He was like a grumpy little feathered bird, hair tufted about messily and dark lashes caging his eyes, his brows low where he frowned mock-moodily with a pout.

 

Harry felt something stir between his legs, a reaction to Louis he hadn't had in quite some time. Almost a year in fact. There was something about wanting to fuck the grouch right out of his little man that made him itch under his skin and widen his thighs instinctively. He shifted a bit in his seat clearing his throat of husk as he took another sip of his tea.

 

"So, Harry," Liam was trying to fill the silence. It wasn't awkward but there was something between the ex-lovers that made Liam twitch.

 

"Hm?" Harry looked over to the other man, the one with kind brown eyes.

 

"Are you staying the night or...?"

 

Harry bit at his lip. It wasn't a big drive from Liam's house to his. But.

 

 _But_.

 

He glanced at Louis as he took another mouthful of drink to stall his answer. Louis' eyes flicked to his, his frown lessened and his blue eyes were just as intense as ever. Harry couldn't read what was in them.

 

"It might be nice not to have to drive back tonight," he hedged to Liam.

 

Harry wasn't sure if the tiny smile tucked into the very corner of Louis' lips was relevant or not. He hoped so.

 

"I'll go make up the spare room then," Liam jumped up now that he had an excuse to leave the room. "You can have dinner with us, it's casserole tonight."

 

Harry turned his head towards Liam's exit even though his eyes were stuck on Louis.

 

"I can cook if you want," he offered. "Earn my keep..."

 

Liam turned at the doorway.

 

"Oh...uh...alright, if you want," he nodded. "I did want to pop out to pick Sophia up from work so that'd be helpful, Harry, thank you."

 

Louis' gaze flicked across the room towards his new friend.

 

"Liam, how many times have I told you that feeding me isn't as important as getting your girlfriend?" He asked.

 

Liam merely smiled.

 

"The Doctor said you had to gain four pounds this week, Louis, don't even try and get out of it."

 

Harry found his face marred by a concerned frown. He licked his lips and looked back at Louis. Louis hid his gaze in the table-top.

 

He took a breath and sighed it out.

 

"Do you wanna show me where Liam keeps his cooking stuff?" Harry posed in the brittle room, the quiet shattering loudly and making him wince as he curled his shoulders inwards to avoid the sharpened barbs.

 

Louis scraped his chair back and went through all the cupboards, pulling out a  casserole dish, then slid the utensil drawer open for Harry, finally pointing at the fridge.

 

Harry arched a brow.

 

"What about herbs and spices?" Harry mused.

 

Louis had to get on tiptoe to reach the high cupboards, finding Harry the one which held stock ingredients. Harry's eyes travelled slowly over Louis' petite form, from his jean-rolled ankles to his baggy t-shirted shoulders.

 

"Hey," He moved toward him, magnetised.

 

Louis lowered from his toes, pushing a self-conscious hand through his fringe. Harry wanted to help him out, to guide his fingers through the bird's nest that was his hair.

 

Louis was staring at him expectantly, eyes slightly wide.

 

"Do you want to help?" Harry asked him.

 

Louis blinked, let out what seemed to be a breath of relief and set himself up at the table with a chopping board and some vegetables. Harry placed a peeler and a knife beside his board.

 

"Thank you," he added with a gentle smile.

 

Harry turned the kitchen radio on low; not really hearing Louis' humming until his confidence built and he began singing the odd line in a quietly cute way, his facial expressions taking on the meaning of the lyrics.

 

"# _Minibars, expensive cars, hotel rooms and new tattoos, good champagne, and private planes But we don't need anything 'Cause the truth is out I realise that without you here life is just a lie This is not the end This is not the end We can make it you know it, you know_...#"

 

Harry found the way he scrunched his nose and drew out his lips on the 'ooh's' rather endearing. But he didn't have time to wallow in the feeling because Louis was looking up, expecting him to perform a duet, apparently.

 

Oh.

 

"--# _You and me_ ," he broke in at the next chorus. " _Got a whole lotta history_!"

 

And it was then that he maybe realised what he'd been coerced into singing.

 

"# _We could be the greatest thing that the world has ever seen... You and me got a whole lot of history, So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever_ #"

 

Louis had started grinning among his song words, still valiantly peeling his vegetables but then he looked right at Harry and raised his eye brows, tipped his forehead to signal he expected Harry to sing the last few bars.

 

Harry rolled his eyes with a blush and faced back to the wall, busying himself with tossing chopped beef in flour while the pan heated.

 

"# _So don't let me go ,So don't let me go, We can live forever. Baby don't you know Baby don't you know We can live forever_!#"

 

Harry let the song finish and the deejay cut in with spiel while Harry tossed the meat into the frying pan and moved to wash his hands, too scared to turn around and face Louis. His heart was pistoning fast in his chest and he swiped at his brow with the back of his hand.

 

"Here..."

 

Harry jumped at the sound of Louis' voice, about to turn toward him when he felt the warmth of a body press into his back.

 

"What're you-" Harry tried to turn to see.

 

"Stay still little frog," Louis murmured and Harry felt fingers stroking through his hair.

 

 _What was this?_ What was Louis-

 

"Oh," he gulped as the soft finger-strokes stopped and a tug was felt instead. Louis was tying his hair back. It was-

 

 _Fuck_.

 

It shouldn't be but it _was_. _Erotic_. Harry stilled, that tingling starting up in his jeans again. He swallowed loudly, his breath shortening through his nostrils. It felt like it took hours but in reality it was probably around three minutes. Louis seemed reluctant to step away from him, though because Harry felt his breath fan warmly onto his neck, felt the slight quiver of Louis' fingers as they brushed his neck.

 

It was Liam re-entering the kitchen that had Louis jumping back.

 

"Not as good as yours," Louis said with a husky voice.

 

Harry twisted  a bit to side-eye him.

 

"S'okay. Thank you..."

 

Liam's eyes flicked between them both and one of his brows ached. He apparently decided not to comment on what he'd found in the kitchen.

 

"Right. I'm off to get Soph...Harry I made up the spare room, first right in case you want to have a lay down or _whatever_ ," he added softly, sending Louis a pointed look.

 

"For fuck's sake, Liam," he growled, rolling his eyes.

 

Liam merely smiled innocently as Harry turned to look at him wondering what the private joke was about.

 

"I'm putting the casserole in now," Harry said. "Well, as soon as Louis finishes the vegetables," he amended slightly.

 

Liam arched a brow.

 

"I'll expect to eat it around midnight then, shall I?" He joked, hearing Louis' shouted name-calling on his way down the hall.

 

//

Louis was still having nightmares from the attack. They woke him up every night at twilight and he could never get back to sleep, choosing to nap in the afternoons instead.

 

It was dark and cold as Louis slipped along the corridor from his room after his latest bad dream.

 

He was wearing his favourite Spiderman pajama's but the jersey fabric was thin and not very warm. He shivered a bit as he paused outside Harry's room, pressing his ear to the door.

 

He could just about make out Harry's low mumblings; the non-sensical conversations of his dreams. He smiled, pressing a hand to the door as if absorbing that memory; indulging himself in the warm feeling it gave him.

 

He bit into his lip, wondering.

 

Would Harry-?

 

Louis twisted the door handle, pushing it open. The room was warm and smelled like mint. He paused in the doorway, listening to the jumbled mumblings coming from the bed.

 

"...whatever you say Sergeant Major...little bear is more than capable of this mission..."

 

Louis felt a true smile stretch across his lips, his heart pounding steadily in his chest. He missed this. He missed having Harry breathing in the same air, laying beside him and keeping him warm.

 

He shivered as if his body needed to remind him he was freezing out of bed. Every part of him was screaming at him to walk, to keep moving forward until he was beside Harry once more but his head knew the truth.

 

He didn't deserve the happiness Harry brought him. And Harry didn't deserve the let down that Louis was.

 

Louis blinked in the darkness and hardened his heart. He'd had his chance with Harry and he'd blown it and now it was time to let him go, completely.

 

//

 

Louis woke up to just Liam in his kitchen making toast and offering him some while placing a giant mug filled with tea onto the table.

 

"Did Harry go?" Louis wondered checking the wall clock. It was almost eleven, he must have overslept.

 

Liam merely grinned and tipped his head toward the front window where Louis moved toward, only then seeing Harry pacing back and forth while talking into his mobile phone.

 

Louis noticed the tension in his wide shoulders and the frown marring his pretty face. He mooched out of the kitchen and into the hallway; opening the front door to listen to Harry's conversation.

 

//

 

"...Can you call the coast guards and get them to help?" Harry pulled his lower lip between his finger and his thumb.

 

Louis watched it redden sweetly.

 

"I'll be there as soon as I can Niall but I can't just leave him...I know you're not asking me to but I can tell you need me..."

 

Louis stepped put onto the wooden deck putting himself in Harry's eyeline for when he turned on his back and forth walk.

 

Those complex green eyes flicked to his; wide at first until his lashes quivered and his mouth softened.

 

Louis watched as Harry's gaze flicked down him and then back up. He wondered what Harry thought of his pyjamas.

 

Something burned deep behind those beautiful eyes that Louis wanted to unearth. But then there were a lot of things he wanted but couldn't have.

 

"I have to go," Harry said to Niall. "Alright, see you soon." He ended the call with a sigh, his hands shaking slightly.

 

Louis moved forward with a frown.

 

"Trouble at high sea?" He asked.

 

Harry's lips pressed into a tight line.

 

"The gang took another four and injured more. We think it's deliberate now to make it easier for them to catch. Manatees are fast in the water so they're trying to make them prone."

 

Louis blinked and his feet propelled him forwards driven by his heart and not his mind. Before he knew it he was tucking back Harry's silky hair.

 

"We'll stop them, Haz," he promised softly. "There's already a police report filed for the attacks and it won't be long before they're caught."

 

Harry clenched his teeth together grimacing.

 

"How many more need to die before they stop them though? I feel so powerless...unless I catch every last one and lock them up there's nothing I can do without getting hurt..."

 

Louis rubbed his arm.

 

"You're doing everything you can." He assured. "And if you need to go to sort this out then I'll understand," he added. "The fact you even came here means more than you know. I never expected you to stay."

 

Harry stared at him for a long moment.

 

"Well you were wrong," he mumbled out quiet and low.

 

Louis blinked at him.

 

"The babies need you," he observed.

 

Harry gave Louis a rueful smirk. Before he brushed by him into the house he muttered;

 

"So do you."

 

//

 

Harry left after breakfast, heading straight to the centre to catch up with Niall.

 

He pushed open the door and strode in, heading to the medical bay when he found reception empty.

 

"Niall?" He called into the apparently empty room.

 

"Out here!" He heard the faint response from his colleague and re-directed himself towards the delivery ramp where they usually unloaded the cages holding injured animals.

 

The back of the truck had four cages in it and Niall was chatting to Jeff when Harry made it out there.

 

"How many?" He asked with a slight frown.

 

"Just the two," Niall answered. "Took us nearly two hours just to get them out, though."

 

Harry nodded with a grimace.

 

"Sorry I wasn't here to help."

 

"How's Louis?" Niall enquired.

 

"He's okay," Harry nodded. "Liam's taking care of him..."

 

"Why Liam?" Niall demanded.

 

Harry frowned.

 

"Who else is there?"

 

Niall scoffed.

 

"Um, you?"

 

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed, going about tethering his long hair into a high ponytail before he started unloading the cages.

 

"Think I'm likely the last person on earth that Louis wants taking care of him," Harry murmured.

 

"Have you asked him?" Niall barreled out next, sharing a look with Jeff.

 

Harry glanced at the other man who just smiled at him politely.

 

"No, I haven't because he's fine where he is," Harry sighed. "They're feeding him well and-"

 

"He'd be better off with you," Niall muttered under his breath while Harry was still talking.

 

Harry licked his lips, unlocking the tailgate on the truck.

 

"What makes you the expert?" Harry wondered.

 

Jeff turned to get something out of the cab of the truck and Harry knew he was being gracious enough to give them some privacy.

 

Niall shuffled up to the back of the truck and helped Harry lift down the first cage, carrying it inside.

 

"Seems to me you care about this Louis guy," Niall said then, unlocking the cage so Harry could lift out the creature within it.

 

Harry carried the baby manatee over to the metal table knowing Niall and Jeff would carry the second crate in.

 

"I used to," Harry offered over his shoulder.

 

Niall sighed.

 

"Think you still do mate...and I think he still cares about you."

 

Harry looked over his shoulder, blinking a few times to stave off his emotional tears.

 

"So you're saying I should give him another chance?"

 

Niall smiled a bit.

 

"I'm saying you'd take better care of him than this Liam guy," he offered.

 

Harry pursed his lips and let a grin dimple his cheek.

 

"Maybe," he allowed coyly.

 

"Oh come on, Harry!" Niall bellowed as he went back to the truck. "What about your famous chocolate desserts?!"

 

Harry chuckled at his examined the manatee carefully; his gloves protecting his hands from the sea-water the animal was coated in. I seemed like they were targeting their flippers, slowing them down in the water and tiring them out so they were easier to catch unawares when they were asleep and practically unable to defend themselves or escape.

 

He grimaced at the discovery and wished the authorities would do more and sooner, like _now_ , preferably.

 

He felt Niall press into his arm, looking over his shoulder at the injured animal.

 

"So, will you ask him to come stay with you?" He prompted.

 

Harry's mind was instantly lifted from the gravity of the situation they were facing.

 

"Maybe," he offered again, undecided.

 

"I'm asking him tomorrow if you aren't," Niall warned and Harry gave him a bemused look as he twisted to watch Niall unlock the other cage.

 

"Wait, why do you want him here?"

 

Niall shrugged.

 

"Like the guy, what can I say?"

 

Harry let out a sigh.

 

"I need to think about it, okay?"

 

"You going back there tonight?" Niall wondered.

 

"No, I'll wait until morning, get these two settled in and the proper reports finalised for tonight," he excused.

 

Niall's arched brow was determinedly ignored by Harry as he worked.

 

//

 

Louis woke up in a nest of blankets tucked around him along with a thin comforter, a beanie tugged over his hair and mittens pulled onto his dainty hands.

 

He squinted into the low afternoon sun and smiled.

 

 _Liam_.

 

He always made sure Louis was warm enough, fed enough and comfortable enough while in his care. It was a little bit overwhelming at times because he didn't know how he was meant to go back to his lonely life after this, after he got better and he had to leave again.

 

He turned onto his back fighting off a few blankets to reach for his mobile tucked into his sweat-pants pocket, about to text Harry when he blinked confusedly at the outline sitting at the foot of the veranda settee. And Louis' feet were in fact in his lap.

 

"Haz?"

 

Harry was bent over his lap reading something on his phone with a terse expression on his face but he sat up a bit and blinked at Louis.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"I-erm-you're here," he said only, confused.

 

Harry nodded, tucking back his hair that fell forwards.

 

"Yeah, we saved the injured babies and now I'm back to saving _you_." he quipped.

 

Louis made an impassive face.

 

"I see."

 

"Speaking of which..." Harry laid his phone flat on his thigh and Louis' eyes flicked there, noticing the vibration. "If you ever feel like switching scenes there's a spare room at my place, too."

 

Louis looked back to Harry's face, thinking he must have misheard. Or was dreaming. Harry was surely offering out of pity, he couldn't be serious.

 

"Was it you?" Louis wondered then.

 

Harry was texting a reply into his phone, focusing back on Louis in the next second.

 

"Was what me?"

 

Louis lifted his mittened hands and rubbed at his beanie'd head.

 

"This lot? I thought it was Liam, he's always tucking me in with way too many blankets and I wake up sweating..."

 

Harry smiled sheepishly.

 

"The hat and gloves are mine. I tried to put my hoodie on you but you're a stubborn bastard in your sleep."

 

Louis flexed his toes against Harry's warm thigh.

 

"All I ever needed was you to keep me warm." He remembered softly.

 

Harry nodded, not quite meeting his gaze but humming in acknowledgement.

 

It wasn't the same without Louis in his arms, Harry had to confess. He'd missed that little body, that sass and sweetness all rolled into one.

 

"There hasn't been anyone else since you left, you know," Harry told him, slow and deep.

 

Louis watched him swallow and blush, looking away. He had no idea why Harry had told him that but it was such a precious gift he wanted to keep it in a jar forever.

 

"Same," he replied thickly, his throat dry.

 

Harry blinked at him.

 

"Really?"

 

Louis nodded.

 

"No-one comes close, Haz. Not even close," he mused.

 

Harry cleared his throat and Louis watched as he pressed the back of his wrist against his each cheek as if wiping away tears.

 

"So," he hummed, in that beautifully slow way of his.

 

"So..." Louis linked his fingers and pressed his hands to his stomach.

 

"Will you think about it?" He asked. "About moving in with me until you're better?"

 

Louis had a conflict of loyalties to overcome with Harry's invitation. On the one hand, he could stay as long as he needed at Liam's house and the other man would only make him feel more welcome the longer he stayed. Telling Liam he wanted to recuperate elsewhere might be seen as an insult, an ungratefulness of his hospitality so far.

 

On the other hand, Louis had been there nearly a week and Liam did have a girlfriend and Louis did feel like he was encroaching on their private time somewhat. Also, Harry wouldn't smother him -he hoped- and he'd get back onto his own two feet without getting too comfortable being waited on hand and foot.

 

And also there was that other thing.

 

Having a chance to make things up with Harry properly. Maybe for good. No matter the outcome, if Harry didn't hate him anymore he'd be halfway happy.

 

"I'll think about it," Louis promised with a curl of his toes into Harry's thigh.

 

Harry's big hand curled around his tiny ankle and he melted a bit, his smile automatically soft and endeared.

 

Harry managed a shy smile back.

 

//

 

"So," Louis broached the next morning, his mouth full of cereal. "What would you think if I stayed somewhere else for a bit?"

 

Liam's head shot up from his own bowl and there was Louis hoping he hadn't really heard properly...

 

"What? Why?"

 

Louis cleared his throat, flicking a look to Sophia. She smiled at him and he took it as encouragement.

 

"Er, look...you're my best friend now and we both know I can't do enough to repay you," he began.

 

Liam pouted and mumbled _'you don't have to'_. Louis almost lost his resolve.

 

"But, um...well Harry seems to be coming around to the idea of talking to me and he thought maybe it'd be a good idea if I stayed with him for a bit...different scene and that..."

 

Liam chewed slowly, his brown eyes not giving anything away.

 

"Is he going to feed you?" Liam asked, more an accusation really.

 

Louis smiled.

 

"I hope so or I'm back here in a flash," he teased.

 

"What about your nightmares?" Liam checked. "And making sure you're warm enough?"

 

Louis couldn't help getting up from his seat just to hug him, turning to hug Sophia too.

 

"I think I just need to get on my own two feet a bit," he explained. "I know Harry is a big part of the reason I got into this mess but if I can iron out our differences then maybe we can both move on, you know?"

 

Louis swallowed bravely, not wanting to imagine Harry moving on from him at all. His admission from last night was fresh in his mind along with the day he'd taken Harry's virginity very slowly and very, very gently. Something carnal in him had marked Harry as his and it felt like that would never change.

 

But still. If Harry wanted to move on then Louis would respect that.

 

Liam was nodding slowly, a tiny sad pout on his lips.

 

"Well if that's what you really want, mate..."

 

Louis ruffled his hair.

 

"You're the best, Li," he grinned, scampering back to his side of the table.


	7. Chapter 7

He looked so tiny, was the thing. His arm was in a sling still and his hair was a fluffy mess. He had thick growth of beard on his face like he hadn't been shaving and his khaki jacket didn't look warm enough.

 

Harry fidgeted from behind the curtain, throwing open the front door to help Louis in with his small rucksack only Louis was on the porch when he got there, his tired blue eyes reaching upwards.

 

"Hey," he greeted, looking a bit nervous.

 

Harry swallowed and pushed a smile onto his lips.

 

"Hi...come in," he stepped out onto the deck to let Louis pass.

 

Louis flicked him a look as he stepped onto the doormat, delicately wiping his feet.

 

"How's your shoulder?" Harry asked as he followed the other man inside.

 

Louis hummed.

 

"Could be better, but apparently swimming in freezing cold water before physio is complete isn't such a good thing," he mused.

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Yeah, I probably could've told you that..."

 

Louis turned and flicked him an awkward flat-lipped smile.

 

"You can help me with my stretches if you're such an expert," he teased.

 

Only Harry didn't get the joke.

 

"Of course," he nodded.

 

Louis smiled anyway, pursing his lips and flicking his fringe away. The moment grew awkward.

 

"I'll uh...show you your room," Harry glided by him, leading Louis through his bungalow.

 

Louis poked his head into the open doorways, sneaking glances of the living room- grey and dusk pink, the kitchen- beige and soft lemon yellow- and the master bedroom which was a cosy mint green and sea blue.

 

He paused in the doorway of the last room, a large annex on the back of the house facing the bright colours of the garden.

 

"Oh," he exclaimed of the prime position. "Are you sure?" He looked up to Harry who braced himself in the doorway where Louis hovered.

 

"Mm-hmm," Harry nodded. "It's so relaxing in here, I come and paint in here sometimes..."

 

Louis wandered into the space, pausing at the window and flicking his eyes over the trees outside, the colourful array of flowers in the beds.

 

"You look after the garden," he noted.

 

Harry folded his arms and leaned on the door jamb.

 

"I find that relaxing, too," he shared.

 

Louis laid his little backpack on the bed, cupping his bad arm.

 

"It's incredible, Haz. Thank you for inviting me."

 

Harry straightened, sensing Louis' awkwardness and feeling he might be the cause.

 

"I'm going to make us some lunch and get something ready for you to put in the oven for dinner," He turned toward the corridor.

 

"You're going out tonight?" Louis called, moving after him until he reached the doorway of the room.

 

"Just to work for a bit," Harry explained. "Niall's on the night shift but I'm covering for a few hours before it gets dark."

 

Louis nodded, biting at his lip.

 

"Can I-erm, if it's okay, could I come with you, maybe?"

 

Harry blinked.

 

"Only if you borrow my thermals and a proper jacket," he bargained.

 

Louis smirked, looking down at his mostly inadequate cold-weather wear.

 

"Deal," he agreed easily.

 

He was itching to get out in the fresh air, be near the sea again. Liam was a tad protective over letting Louis go near the waves again, even with him as company but Louis' instincts had been right about Harry.

 

He wasn't going to try and over-protect him and it wasn't a bad thing, it was just what Louis needed.

 

//

 

Louis looked a himself in the long mirror on the wardrobe door, the all-in-one red one-piece about two sizes too big on him.

 

He grasped the excess material and flapped it about with a rueful sigh. The only thing that would go over the thermals were his sweat pants. He pulled them on along with a grey flecked knit jumper, looking at the extra items Harry had put on his bed.

 

One of Harry's thick pea-coats was laid there, a scarf, the mittens he'd placed on Louis along with the grey beanie, too. Louis pulled on the thick socks and padded out into the living area with just his nose and eyes showing.

 

"Am I wrapped up warm enough?" He asked Harry who was patiently sitting at the table in his usual jeans and boots, a silk bomber jacket over his t-shirt. "Hey," Louis added indignantly. "How come I'm dressed for the Antarctic and you're in beach-mode?"

 

Harry stood up and slid a pair of wellies towards Louis.

 

"Because you just came out of hospital with near-hypothermia," Harry reminded. "And this is the only way I'm letting you out of the house."

 

Louis sighed and grasped Harry's shoulder to manoeuvre his feet into the wellies, rolling his eyes heaven-ward.

 

"Let's just go shall we?" He suggested.

 

He looked up to catch Harry's gaze on him, green eyes illuminated with something warm and a soft curve at his lips.

 

"Let's," Harry agreed, leading the way out.

 

//

 

While Harry was busy on the speed-boat setting up buoys to mark the manatees cove, Louis got busy on his phone.

 

He had called at least eleven of his surfing friends by the time Niall arrived, bringing in a hot chocolate and ruffling his beanie'd hair.

 

"Hey, champ."

 

"Hey," Louis grinned, curled up in the reception chair, accepting the warm drink gratefully.

 

"Haz not back yet?" Niall frowned.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

"He radio'd about half an hour ago to say one of the buoy-lines had broken..."

 

Niall rolled his eyes.

 

"He never knows when to go home for the night," he complained lightly.

 

"He cares about them so much," Louis considered.

 

Niall pursed his lips, brows raising a notch.

 

"Think there's a reason for that, mate..."

 

Louis gave him a bemused look.

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

"Yeah-"

 

Niall was stopped short from elaborating as the front door rushed open, a loud laugh filling it along with the flash of headlights from the centre's truck swiping across the window.

 

"Honestly, Jeff, the way you went sailing in...wish I'd have been filming it, buddy..." Harry snorted, turning into the reception area and finding two sets of sober blue eyes settling on him.

 

He couldn't help his slight blush.

 

"Hey guys," he greeted. "What's up?"

 

Jeff shadowed the doorway, apparently damp and cold.

 

Niall jumped up.

 

"Hey what happened to you?"

 

Jeff smirked.

 

"Was trying to fix the rope and I leaned too far..."

 

Harry made a grunt of amusement.

 

"Funniest thing I've seen in years," he added as his dimples lengthened out in his cheeks.

 

Louis rocked up in the chair, standing and shoving his hands in his pockets as he fidgeted.

 

"You managed to stay dry then?" Louis checked with Harry.

 

Harry flicked him a look.

 

"For once," he mused.

 

Niall had draped a blanket around Jeff's shoulders and the other man made his way into the staff room.

 

"Off you go then young lovers," Niall shooed them briskly.

 

Harry's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed harder.

 

Louis gave his new friend a brow-arch before he looked back at Harry. Harry who was very interested in his hands apparently. Rubbing his fingers to be exact.

 

"Is it too cold for a walk?" Louis asked, throwing on his oversized coat and adding all the winter paraphernalia Harry had given him.

 

He struggled with the mittens and Harry moved automatically to help him, gently sliding on his beanie. Louis blinked up at him, feeling breathless.

 

Harry always had left him short for air but he hadn't felt that rush of attraction for too long now. And now it came with a new sensation, a bit like vanilla cream in chocolate frosting, pure and clean. Now it came with hope.

 

"Think we'll be okay for a short stroll," Harry offered.

 

"You're not too tired?" Louis checked huskily.

 

Harry re-arranged his scarf lovingly.

 

"No, I'm good," he assured.

 

"Good," Louis nodded and moved by him to lead the walk along the shore before his lungs completely packed up.

 

//

 

Harry was hunched, hands in pockets as he stalked across the firm sand, bootless.

 

Louis had spent a full ten minutes persuading him to walk on the wet sand and he was sure the only reason Harry was beside him now was due to the fact he hadn't wanted to physically stop Louis by either holding him back or grabbing his hand.

 

Louis smiled triumphantly anyway, tucking his fringe into his beanie, his smile turning soft and a little bit pouty.

 

"Are your feet cold?" Louis asked.

 

Harry snorted.

 

"Freezing."

 

Louis bit his lip.

 

"So I can't paddle? Just for a few minutes?"

 

Harry twisted, tugging his hands from his pockets to place them on his hips, parent-style.

 

"I thought I wasn't allowed to let you near the sea," he mused.

 

"Who told you that?" Louis stepped slowly backwards and Harry hesitantly followed, his step forwards since Louis was facing him now.

 

"My instinct," Harry replied, sliding forward again as Louis took what he thought was a subtle step back.

 

"Not even for a paddle?" Louis asked. "I promise not to dive in.."

 

He took a skip sideways and twisted, rushing the few feet required to meet the wet waves that curled foamily upon the sand. Louis gasped in shock at the sheer iciness of the water, dancing stupidly from foot to foot before Harry was crowding up behind him, wrapping strong arms around his waist and turning them both away from the sea.

 

"Jesus!" Harry cursed as the waves crashed at his ankles, making him growl at the ice-cold hitting his skin like needles.

 

Louis wriggled, hands pressing to Harry's forearms and legs pedalling in an attempt to escape while Harry just held him tight, his back to Harry's chest.

 

"Harry!" he roared with laughter. "Come on...just one more run into the waves?"

 

Harry stopped abruptly and leaned forward so Louis' feet were no longer struggling, landing swiftly in the dry sand. He didn't wriggle though because Harry's breathing was heavy and he wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

 

"Will you just stop?" Harry's voice was husky and deep, thick with an emotion Louis couldn't decipher.

 

He swallowed.

 

"Okay, Haz," he breathed, not quite sure what Harry wanted him to stop doing exactly but assuming he meant the paddling.

 

"Please," Harry's arms squeezed a bit. "Just stop hurting yourself."

 

Louis sucked in a surprised gulp of air, feeling the beach breeze whip around him as Harry's protecting body disappeared, leaving him teetering for his balance.

 

He fell forward into the sand, hands and knees hitting the soft, cold grains. He looked up and around, watching Harry's cloaked figure striding up the beach.

 

//

 

It was quiet during the ride home. Louis wondered if he should have stayed at Liam's after all, feeling a sinking feeling of guilt at making Harry worry about him.

 

He was only having some fun but Harry didn't know that and he too equated the waves with Louis turning up drowned and frozen just like his best friend.

 

Only Harry had given him the chance to go and Louis-

 

Louis had probably thrown that opportunity back in his face somewhat.

 

He sighed, rubbing fingers across his forehead where his elbow propped on the door rest.

 

He felt cold now, even with four layers and Harry's thermal onesie.

 

When they got home Harry went straight to his room, leaving Louis shivering in the hallway

 

//

 

Louis made himself a hot tea, showered off the sand and dressed back into the onesie Harry had lent him, more for the instant warmth than any other reason.

 

Maybe because it was Harry's too. Nobody needed to know that, though.

 

His hair was damp, towel-fluffed semi dry as he crept down the corridor, pausing by the door that preceded his own.

 

He listened out for Harry's snores, for some sign he was asleep.

 

Or not as the case may be.

 

Louis sighed, pushing against his slightly-ajar door letting a faint light into the room which his body shadowed.

 

Harry was facing away; long hair streaming on the pillow behind him. He looked so peaceful and pretty. Louis missed the nights he used to get the chance to cuddle up to him, the way Harry's breathing would lull him to sleep when he was anxious about a competition; about how the wave would roll that day.

 

It hit him again just how much he had lost in losing himself.

 

"Lou?"

 

Harry's voice was half whisper, half deep rumble.

 

"Are you okay?" He turned a bit, seemingly sensing the extra light from the hallway.

 

Louis wished he could lie on that point just to gain what he really wanted but the point was he was supposed to be putting Harry's needs first now.

 

"Just miss you, I guess."

 

Harry rolled right over, squinting into the vague light to try and make out Louis' silhouetted features.

 

"Scared you might have a bad dream?" He asked and Louis knew then that he had been talking to Liam.

 

His best friend had been worried that Louis wouldn't have anyone to comfort him on those nights and he didn't doubt that Liam would have dobbed him in to Harry to make sure he slept well.

 

Louis didn't answer but Harry flipped back the duvet anyway.

 

"Come on then, little Lou," he called in a treacled voice that Louis rolled his eyes at, stubbornly stomping to the bed.

 

"I take it back, I don't miss you at all." He mused as Harry wriggled to make room.

 

Louis sat on the edge and twisted, Harry's hand reaching for the cover to tuck it over him before he was even horizontal.

 

"I recognise that suit," Harry murmured in that low voice of his that made Louis tingle all over.

 

Louis blushed, glad of the dark.

 

"It's warm," he defended sniffily.

 

"Hmm," Harry looped an arm around him, snuggling close.

 

"So're you," Louis realised as he settled albeit in a fidgety mess.

 

"Would you quit wriggling?" Harry hummed a moment later.

 

Louis puffed his fringe out of his eyes.

 

"Sorry," he whispered, then cringed when he realised how little that meant. "I'm really sorry, Harry," he added more genuinely.

 

Harry made a noise of agreement and promptly fell back asleep.

 

Louis thanked his lucky stars that Harry was letting him sleep here in his warm, lovely bed and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

 

//

 

Where Louis had once found solace in the cold glide of the waves, in his dreams, they became suffocating monster waves that tried to drown him; pulling him under and holding him deep while his lungs filled with water.

 

Under the water there were fists hitting him, feet kicking him and his shoulder was ripping painfully from its socket; his arms twisting away in the swirl of the undercurrent.

 

That always woke him up, losing his arm. He always found himself sweaty and panting; blinking prickly eyes open several times to blank out the images.

 

"Hey, hey..."

 

He was tight against something, maybe a man-mountain, maybe a chest.

 

"Shh, Louis...it's okay, you're safe now..."

 

Louis gulped, hiccupping down his outright fear as his pulse began to regulate, his lungs stuttering back into life.

 

Harry had both arms wrapped around him, holding him strong and tight.

 

That had to be one bonus for moving from Liam's place to here.

 

"Sorry," Louis managed to breathe out, trying to wriggle away.

 

"Hey, s'okay," Harry loosened his arms a bit, worried that Louis felt trapped.

 

Louis stopped wriggling and stared at Harry's chest, afraid to look at his face.

 

"Are you sure you still want me to stay?" Louis mused quietly.

 

Louis felt his warm breath fan out on him, felt his big hand rub over his back gently.

 

"Absolutely," he promised.

 

Louis did look at him then, his heart aching at the way Harry's lashes curled, the way his skin was pale in the mornings before the blood rushed back into him, the way his eyes looked a pretty hazel colour when he first woke.

 

"Why?" Louis asked, a frown furrowing his brows.

 

Harry pressed his lips together and his dimple appeared, small and cute. Louis looked at it, then back into his pretty eyes searching for an answer.

 

"Because I can take care of you," Harry replied, confident in his answer.

 

Louis wanted to argue that Liam could take care of him, that he was quite happily doing so in fact. But he didn't want to lose his chance to be held like this, to maybe be held like this a lot more in future.

 

Louis folded his arms as Harry's slipped from around him but he tilted his cheek into Harry's shoulder to get back to sleep.

 

 

//

 

A gaggle of laughter and hoots filled the air outside the sea-life centre as Louis reclined in the reception chair while Harry checked on the previous' night's activity out on the cove.

 

A blonde haired, well-built surf-dude filled the doorway.

 

"Marzo!" Louis called, throwing himself upright in the chair, catapulting himself out of it.

 

He found himself curled into the strong arms of one of his biggest competitors, Clay Marzo.

 

"Tommo," his Hawaiian friend greeted, holding him tightly. "Miss you out on the wall."

 

Louis hummed, pulling away.

 

"I miss being out there," he admitted. Something he hadn't said aloud before and didn't feel quite as scary as he thought.

 

Clay cupped his shoulder, the bad one, just gently.

 

"When it's good again you'll think of something. I know a friend of mine started a surf-school after he got injured from comps," he offered.

 

Louis felt his body flush with something like realisation.

 

"Kinda like that idea," He grinned.

 

"See?" His mate grinned and pulled him back in for another hug. "Knew you missed me."

 

Louis chuckled over his shoulder, seeing a stony-faced Harry approaching, his lips pursed and brows furrowed.

 

"Hey, Hazza!" Louis called, putting Clay away from him. "Guess what?"

 

Clay turned towards the man Louis greeted, grinning instantly.

 

"Hey! You're the girlfriend!" He recognised from Louis' shared pictures.

 

Harry narrowed his gaze.

 

"Not exactly," he mumbled. "I'm sorry, we haven't met...?" He prompted.

 

"Marzo,"  Clay leaned in and hugged Harry hard. "Tommo's mate," he added. "And surf champ, obviously," he winked as he pulled away.

 

Harry hummed with a nod.

 

"You found out Louis moved here?" Harry asked conversationally while Louis cupped the elbow of his injured arm nervously.

 

"I invited him!" Louis began excitedly, but Harry's gaze merely flicked to him before landing back on Clay.

 

"Lou said there was a problem down here with bastards stealing the manatees," Clay explained.

 

Louis rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to explain but again, Harry interrupted as though he wasn't stood right there.

 

"That's right, we have a rogue gang taking the babies at night and beating up anyone who tries to get in the way," Harry summarised. "...Louis being one of the victims along with my colleague Jeff."

 

"I've called the gang," Clay looked at Louis. "They're gonna be here in the next two days. It's down season and we're all up for helping out..."

 

"Helping out how?" Harry asked the man and this time, Louis had to answer since Clay didn't know his full plan.

 

"By taking it in turns to sit shifts," Louis said. "There's safety in numbers and they won't come near if we have four of five of us out there every night..."

 

"Louis, you can't do this," Harry pointed out flatly, as if he hadn't heard the plan at all.

 

Louis was expecting a little bit more praise if he was honest.

 

"I know a lot of people Harry," Louis argued. "And like Marzo said, they're all on break so they can come and sit a few night shifts until the authorities lock this gang down..."

 

"So you're just going to get all of your friends to sit out there? Do they even know the dangers involved?" Harry accused.

 

Louis felt fear grip him tightly in his chest, wrapping around his throat. His lashes quivered as he dragged his eyes towards Harry's, afraid to see what lay there- disappointment maybe? Anger?

 

It was just like every other time he'd tried to impress Harry and been knocked back and been made to feel like his efforts just weren't good enough.

 

"They'd probably enjoy the punch up if I'm honest," Louis commented. "But I guess that's not the real issue here is it?" He arched a brow, ducking his head and pushing past Harry to head out to the sand.

 

Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair.

 

//

 

Harry offered to make a tea and sat with Clay in the staff-room where Niall and Jeff quietly milled about while checking on the animals in their care.

 

"We'd do anything to help you and Louis out you know," Clay offered quietly from Harry's side.

 

Harry smiled wanly.

 

"I'm sure you would..."

 

"Seeing him crash out like that...it broke all of our hearts and his the most," Clay observed. "But losing you...it hit him harder than anything else," he shared.

 

"Yeah well," Harry swallowed bitterly. "Same," he added ruefully.

 

Clay tilted his head, a smile playing about his lips.

 

"You really don't know what this is about do you?" He marvelled.

 

Harry glared at him.

 

"Should I?"

 

Clay let out a bemused breath.

 

"He's trying to fix this," he explained. "What's the one thing in the world that you care the most about Harry?" He asked.

 

Harry shrugged. "The animals."

 

"And he's trying to save them. For _you_. He's got nothing else to win you back but saving your precious babies," he beseeched.

 

Harry stared at him, wondering how much this man knew after speaking to him for all of two minutes.

 

"You seem to know an awful lot about me for a guy I've never met," he commented.

 

Clay smiled.

 

"That's because he never quit talking about you," he rolled his eyes. "Always was head-over-heels for you, bro."

 

Harry flicked his eyes up, arms folded across his chest. If Clay was telling the truth then that meant-

 

That meant Louis hadn't spent the _whole_ time forgetting about him at all. He'd just spent at least some of the time _missing_ him even if he hadn't come home to visit. His face creased with the new information.

 

He gave Clay another long look.

 

"Where are you staying?"

 

When Clay shrugged, Louis called over to Niall to ask if he had a spare bed.

 

//

_"Harry? Is this good?"_

_Harry swallowed, nodding. His hand curled around Louis' bicep, his feet crossed at the ankles behind Louis back._

_It was their first time together, Louis had already asked him if he was sure and finally, finally he was feeling what Louis felt like within him._

_He shifted his hips a bit, trying to angle up._

_"Shh," Louis kissed his lips tenderly, nosing down his jaw and sucking  a kiss into the skin there to relax him._

_Harry let go of his tension with a whimper as Louis gently rocked into him a bit more._

_"Just take it slowly, babe," Louis told him, eyes dark and breaths a bit fast. He was sweating, probably from holding back but Harry had never felt more beautiful; more cared for._

_"I love you," he mumbled._

_Louis smiled, eyes crinkling. And then he pushed a  bit deeper, making Harry flutter around him._

_"Oh, sweetheart," Louis murmured. "That good, hm?"_

_Harry nodded again, trying to open his mouth to speak but only pleasure sounds grinding out._

_"Easy," Louis slid a hand into his lower back to bring his hips tilting upwards. "Just let me hold you..."_

_Harry relaxed his weight into Louis' arms, almost suspended from the bed by him. The next thrust felt like the thickest yet._

_"Oh...oh yeah, Haz. Hmm..." Louis nosed into his neck, hot breath catching._

_Harry clutched around his shoulders, trying to kiss him. Louis finally joined his thought and pressed their lips together; tight and firm; softening into something less carnal. Something sweeter._

_Harry began to move his hips, getting a rhythm and taking Louis into himself and sliding him back out._

_"You're too much," Louis whispered, still holding his lower back to keep him raised, the perfect angle to fuck himself._

_"Am I-" Harry swallowed, slowing his hips. "Am I doing it right?"_

_Louis braced his cheeks with gentle thumbs._

_"Perfect," he breathed, rocking against Harry's upstroke._

_They met somewhere in the middle and bit back groans._

_"I'm not gonna-" Harry warned. "Lou!" he gasped. "Last, I'm not gonna last..."_

_"Don't want you to," Louis was kissing all over his face now, hands spreading out his hair as he pushed his hips insistently forwards as Harry did the same, clashing in the midst._

_"Lou...I want it to be good for you, I want-"_

_Louis reached between their tummies and fisted around him, the tight, hot touch such a surprise that Harry actually came right away, tightening around Louis who was still deep in him._

_"Oh-oh!" He choked, writhing. "Lou..." he sighed, body arching as his peak hit and Louis just held him tight and let him fall down from his heaven in pretty raindrops; melting on the surface of the bed._

_"Beautiful, oh god, so fucking beautiful..."_

_Harry squeezed at Louis' hardness still within him._

_"Lou?"_

_Louis pulled out and slipped off his condom, stroking himself two, three times until he striped over Harry's clean tanned hips. Harry moaned and Louis wrapped him up, kissing his already kiss-swollen mouth._

_"Love you, H," he whispered._

_Harry hummed with a smile on his face._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey people  
> I hear some of you have heard of me from a group chat somewhere and are new fans etc. Welcome to all.
> 
> Also I forgot to mention that although the surfer's names used are real-life surfers, my portrayal of the characters is merely a whim of my imagination :)
> 
> Ang

The next morning brought people.

 

Lots of people.

 

The buoys and hourly boat patrols of the cove had kept the animals safe overnight and now the sea-life centre's reception area was filled with a magnitude of surfers.

 

Niall was grinning ear to ear chatting with them all while Louis hung close to Clay, frequently scooped into the blonde man's arms.

 

Not that Harry cared of course.

 

He cleared his throat nervously, tugging on his royal blue beanie.

 

"Erm...can I get everyone's attention please?" He tried, not even piercing the loud chatter and laughter in the room.

 

He frowned and pouted, looking about the room for help from Niall when a sharp whistle sounded out. Harry snapped his gaze about, finding the source of the commanding signal.

 

"Hey, you lot! Shut up so Harry can talk, yeah?" Louis called.

 

There were various mocking renditions of Harry's name being cooed, kissy noises and general piss-taking in Louis' direction.

 

Harry saw Clay poke Louis in the ribs and watched as Louis blushed with a shy smile. Harry hadn't seen this side of Louis before- this shy, insecure side. It made his stomach clench and his chest ache with wanting to hold him.

 

When it went quiet, Harry realised all eyes were on him. And _his_ eyes were on Louis. He felt his cheeks warm as cleared his throat again.

 

"So the plan is to go in teams of four on a rota of six hours each to be rotated until Friday which is when the International Maritime Organisation have told us they will be coming out to investigate the crimes we have reported..."

 

Harry suffered shouts of 'Alright Blondie!' and a few cat-calls and wolf-whistles.

 

"Hey!" Louis eventually intervened. "This isn't a boy auction you know..."

 

"Yeah we know!" Mick Fanning yelled. "Harry's already taken and paid for!"

 

Louis slid him the bird, turning back to listen to Harry as he tried to brief the mob of boisterous surfers filling the room.

 

"We have plenty of support from your lady-friends who will be keeping hot drinks and high-energy foods prepared for each shift and Jeff, Niall and myself will be acting as boat-taxis taking groups in and out..."

 

"What's Louis doing?" Phillip Hoffman wanted to know.

 

Louis rolled his eyes as Harry answered for him.

 

"He's still recovering," Harry said quietly, looking around the room to see if anyone was going to insinuate anything. "He's going to man the fort," he added resolutely.

 

Louis puffed his fringe out of his eyes as Clay hung an arm around his shoulders.

 

"S'alright buddy. When you're fully grown you can join the big-boys on the prowl," his friend teased.

 

Louis elbowed him hard in the ribs despite the burn in his shoulder from doing so.

 

Harry chewed on his lower lip while everyone waited for him to speak.

 

"I've put the rota's up on the windows if everyone wants to have a look. There's spare warm clothing in the staff-room along with flasks and knapsacks and there's a miniature emergency kit for each of you which has a heat blanket and first aid kit inside so make sure you dress warm and pick up one of those before heading out. The first shift leaves in half an hour and Niall is driving..."

 

Indiscernible chatter began as bodies surged to view the rotas Jeff had drawn up and the older man began calling out the names of the first four men to sit their shift while the conversation turned back to laughter and teasing.

 

Harry was only glad that all the competitors got on, that there were no egos and dramas being brought into this vital mission and in fact, he wouldn't even have this help if it wasn't for Louis. His green eyes searched him out amongst the crowd.

 

He should have known he'd be with Clay. They were huddled close, playing thumb-war. Harry didn't know why watching Louis clasping hands with another man made his stomach lurch.

 

"Um...if you'd like to help out, I need you to man the desk," Harry broached softly.

 

Louis looked up and Clay won the war. The surfer-man cheered loudly and span with victorious fists in the air. Louis shunted at his back with his good hand.

 

"I was distracted, dickhead."

 

Harry waited for Clay to attach himself to another man which he seemed to have no problem doing.

 

Louis shook his head slightly and focused on Harry.

 

"Can't I go out on shift with Clay? Just for a bit?" He asked.

 

"I'm going to have the two-way open all night," Harry explained. "In case anyone needs to call anything in or order urgent supplies..."

 

Louis pursed his lips, looking down a bit so his lashes rested on his cheeks.

 

"I won't hurt myself," he said, with the tiniest flex above his brows.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

"I know, I just don't want you getting cold out there."

 

Louis looked at him and then nodded, sadly.

 

"It might warm up a bit by time Clay goes out," he hoped.

 

"Yeah," Harry agreed lightly. pressing his lips together as Louis turned to find his friend in the crowd. "Hey Lou..."

 

Louis turned, pressing his fringe back.

 

"Hm?"

 

"What did you mean...you know when you said that the real issue about your stake-out idea wasn't about the dangers of your friends getting hurt?"

 

Louis wasn't expecting the question. He and Harry hadn't talked about it the previous night when they'd gotten home and Louis assumed the topic was closed.

 

He didn't want to talk about it here, with everyone shouting around them and finding ways to embarrass them both.

 

"Can we talk about it later?" He asked.

 

Harry nodded, having plenty to get on with while Louis moved to seat himself at the front desk, his petite form looking small in the big office chair.

 

"Okay," Harry clapped his hands. "Everyone waiting to go on shift you can hang around in the staffroom if you're up next or go along the shore a bit to the SeaHawk Cafe but please can I ask you to start clearing the reception area..."

 

Harry leaned over the front desk and Louis looked up.

 

"Can you pass me my diary?" Harry pointed to a battered leather notebook and Louis handed it over. "Got some Plovers I need to check the nests of..." He murmured as he flicked through the scribbled pages for some information.

 

"Hey," Louis called as Harry gravitated away from the desk.

 

Harry lifted a brow.

 

"Be careful out there, okay?"

 

The taller man nodded, heading out with a salute as the surfers slowly depleted from the room.

 

//

 

Louis was secretly hoping to convince Harry to let him tag along for his midnight boat-taxi shift.

 

He didn't sleep well anyway and he wanted to be there for Harry if anything happened so he hung around while Harry checked on the sea-birds and then came back for an afternoon nap. He made Harry coffee and watched him wake up slowly, pulling his platinum hair into a bun.

 

He played card games with Clay on the front desk computer while the others ate dinner prepared for by the girls and Louis nibbled on his portion brought to him by a pretty shy girl called Jacqui.

 

It was mundane, almost, apart from being squished into a chair with Clay and having his arms either side of him trying to control the keyboard while Louis slapped them away and wriggled in his lap.

 

When Harry sleepily loped out at around eleven he glanced at the pair of them and swallowed thickly.

 

"I'm heading out with the next four in a bit," he said.

 

Louis hopped up, winding around the desk to come in front of Harry, biting into his bottom lip a bit.

 

"Can I come for the ride?" He asked. "I'm so bored here..."

 

"You don't look bored," Harry noted.

 

Louis stared at him. _So it was like that?_ Was Harry actually trying to accuse him of flirting when they weren't even together anymore?

 

"I'll wear a coat," Louis promised, by-passing his comment.

 

Harry sighed, rocking back on his heels.

 

"Alright, Lou, be ready in ten minutes okay?"

 

Louis nodded and galloped to the staffroom to root through the piles of clothes to find something warm to wear.

 

//

 

He couldn't move due to being wrapped so warmly, but the important thing was, he was _out_.

 

The moon was bright but small in the hazy sky and the water was ink-blue, marbled with moonlight.

 

Harry looked beautiful in blue-tones, shadows falling from his lashes and jaw in bleeding low-lights, making his eyes look darker and his brows more dangerous as they hitched together.

 

The boat was filled with the next four volunteers who all ribbed Louis about his molly-coddled status but strangely, Louis didn't fight it. He'd given up fighting and the pay-off was feeling cared-for, even if it was in an over-the-top way.

 

"You sure you're warm enough now?" Mike teased.

 

"Harry, think you forgot gloves for Louis here," Phillip mused.

 

Harry's gaze snapped to Louis' hands and he flushed a bit on seeing the mittens there that he'd given Louis a while back.

 

"Ha-ha," he dead-panned with a pout.

 

"Hey lighten up, dude," Damien cajoled lightly. "We're only teasing ya..."

 

"Louis and I aren't together anymore," Harry snapped. "I'm not sure if anyone told you but it's-"

 

Harry paused with a sigh.

 

"It's not funny." He concluded quietly.

 

Louis' lips turned down at Harry's discomfort..

 

"Let's switch it up," he suggested to his pals.

 

"Saw your board design in a shop in Maui," Clay said from the back of the boat. "Dude it looked ripped!"

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"I might be more convinced when the royalties start rolling in..."

 

"I'm getting one for next season," Damien assured. "It'll be like--an ode to you leaving the comp."

 

Louis reached out and squeezed his hand.

 

"Thanks, D."

 

"No worries, bro."

 

"Nearly there guys," Harry said as the cove came into view.

 

Out at the front of the rock it was still dark and quiet, the buoys surrounding the babies' sleeping ledge. Behind the mound of the cave there were the four guys, huddled by a fire.

 

Harry pulled the boat up and moored it, waiting for the changeover. He tried really hard not to look at Louis.

 

"I'll tell them to stop talking about it if it really gets to you that much," Louis said, a bit bemused.

 

He didn't want to make fun of their relationship any more than Harry did but it was just lads ribbing them, nothing more. He didn't get why it upset Harry so much.

 

Harry looked into the water.

 

"I just-It's hard to hear them happy about it...about _us_. Like we're this loved-up couple who haven't told each other how we feel yet. Like we've still got hope ahead of us or something."

 

"Pretty sure my hope died a long time ago," Louis murmured.

 

Harry looked at him then, and it was his greatest mistake. Louis looked beautiful in his beanie, dressed up to the cheeks with a thick coat layered with a body warmer and a scarf piled onto his small body.

 

"They know how I feel about you." Louis added.

 

Harry's heart began to beat hard, tight and loud. His lips began to quiver.

 

"And how's that?"

 

Louis looked him right in the eyes.

 

"I still love you, Harry. I always have loved you. And every single one of those guys knows it."

 

It was out there. _Finally_. The thing he had been clutching close to his dark heart and the thing he'd wanted to say for too long. The thing he'd been so afraid of saying, of opening his heart to reveal.

 

"And I know I fucked it up with you. For good," he added when Harry didn't respond, just stared at him with those dark eyes sunk into pale skin. "I know that you're pissed off at me and you didn't want me to bring my friends out here but I did it for you, okay? I did it to save these beautiful creatures and to show you that I hadn't forgotten..."

 

Harry opened his mouth as if to say something but his breathing hitched and Louis ploughed on.

 

"When we went to see them in Cali it was the first time I said 'I love you' and I'll never forget it, I'll never forget...you were so sweet that night, it was so good with you...it always was, every time," Louis smiled tersely as he remembered a past that pained him to recall. "And I know you didn't really want me here and that bringing my friends here was the last thing you wanted but saving those babies is like-"

 

Louis closed his eyes tightly and sucked in a big breath for courage.

 

"It's like saving _us_."

 

Harry didn't have a chance to respond because four big guys started clambering into the boat, high-fiving him and Louis as they boarded.

 

Luckily they were too distracted to tease them; telling stories of their adventure.

 

//

 

That night, Louis didn't try and slip into bed with Harry.

 

He heard Harry's shower going as he headed to his own assigned room and he curled into the big bed with a shiver.

 

It was some time later that his bedroom door opened and someone crept in.

 

"Lou?" The voice called.

 

Louis didn't answer and waited with a throbbing heart, surprised to feel his covers lifted and a weight hitting the bed.

 

"You're freezing," Harry accused as he snuggled in behind Louis, spooning him.

 

"Nobody to keep me warm," he said despondently.

 

"Thank you," Harry whispered. "Thank you for saving them."

 

Louis' eyes widened in shock. _Fuck_. The manatees. Animals that Louis could protect with his surf-buddies. Of _course_ that was all Harry was thankful for...

 

He sighed out, trying to relax his body enough to sleep. He felt a heavy arm land over him, a warmth pressing into his back as Harry hummed into the back of his neck.

 

"I still love you," Louis whispered.

 

Harry's sweet snore was probably a deserved response.

 

//

 

The thing was, Louis couldn't take the words back.

 

As much as he wanted to slurp up every letter like alphabet spaghetti, he couldn't and he was stuck with the grinding knowledge that he'd told Harry _everything_.

 

He'd told him how he felt and that he wanted a second chance (in a roundabout way) and altogether it was humiliating.

 

Probably nowhere as humiliating as Harry waking up to tabloid pictures of Louis kissing a girl but still...

 

Louis tried to hide under his beanie and stuck to Clay like glue when they finally made it to the centre.

 

"Hey, Tommo," his friend winked, then greeted Harry. "Styles," he nodded.

 

Harry headed out to catch up with Niall and Jeff while Louis sneaked a look at his friend. Clay had crossed his arms and leaned back on the counter while Louis took his place at the radio.

 

"What is it, Marzo?" Louis clipped.

 

"Nah, nothing bro..."

 

Louis sighed and pinned his friend with his serious stare.

 

Clay smirked.

 

"You're doing it all for him and he doesn't even know it," he mused.

 

Louis sighed.

 

"He does know. I told him. But it doesn't change what happened."

 

Clay ruffled his hair.

 

"He cares about you, you know... _secretly_ ," Clay winked. "Hang in there."

 

Louis looked away with a pained expression but Clay moved deliberately closer, sliding a hand onto the back of Louis' neck as he crowded him.

 

"Bet I can make him jealous," he whispered.

 

Louis shook his head and tried to slide away but Clay's feet were holding down the wheels of his chair.

 

"Don't think that's gonna work, bro," Louis admitted.

 

"Have you asked him out?" Clay wondered.

 

Louis' silence replaced his negative answer.

 

"Gotta start somewhere, Lewis," his friend pointed out.

 

Louis nodded with a thoughtful expression as Harry bustled through from the staffroom, rounding up the troops.

 

"Right everybody!" He called, more confident than the previous day. His eyes flicked over to Louis' position at the desk with Clay scooted close, a hand cupped at the back of his neck.

 

Louis froze and broke away with a blush. Clay gave him a raised-brow look pointedly and Louis flicked his eyes away; towards the commotion out front.

 

Harry's eyes stayed intense and heavy on him until the crowd of volunteers had formed. Louis felt like something heavy was sitting on his chest, like the way Harry used to when they-

 

"Right...today's first group will be driven out by me in fifteen minutes," Harry narrated. "There's hot food in the staff room and flasks as normal so make sure you grab your bacon butties and tea supply before you head out today..."

 

Louis' stomach growled hungrily at the bacon smell wafting into the main reception area. Harry's eyes found him again and paused as he blinked.

 

"The good news is that no attempts were made last night to take any of the animals and none have been hurt..."

 

There was a collective round of whoops and claps that Louis encouraged with a double fist-in-air victory sign.

 

"Way to go, Hazza!" He called, earning a few wolf-whistles and jibes.

 

"Hey, none of that," Louis reminded gently as Harry blushed lightly.

 

"If everyone would like to make themselves ready for the trip, I'll meet you out front in ten minutes," Harry signed off, flipping his hair gently away from his face.

 

Louis waited for him to come up to the counter.

 

"I, uh...We have some of the injured animals in the aqua room," Harry said lowly. "I never got to show you where the animals rehabilitate...maybe you want to join me when I get back?" He posed.

 

Louis was stood up behind the counter and Clay was behind him, choosing that moment to squeeze his ass. Louis yelped and turned to punch him with his good arm. He turned back to Harry and found a dark look on his handsome face.

 

"I'd love to," he said, a bit breathless.

 

Harry's eyes traced over Clay slowly, assessing, and then fell back to Louis.

 

"If you find some swim shorts you can come in the pool while I check them over if you want," he added.

 

Louis nodded eagerly.

 

"Count me in."

 

"Yeah count in ole Lou-bear here," Clay smiled wanly, flicking a look towards Harry.

 

Harry swallowed, staring at him as if trying to work out what place he had in Louis' life. Louis rolled his eyes and told Harry to 'ignore him'.

 

Harry nodded.

 

"See you later," he mumbled before heading off to take the volunteers to the cove.

 

//

 

Louis had a call from WSB-TV around an hour later, in the middle of the taxi-run and representatives of the local media and press started gathering outside the centre to run topical stories on the sit-out they had organised.

 

Louis had largely successfully managed to get Niall to deal with the growing crowd of news-hungry people but soon he and Jeff were wrapped up in other jobs and Harry was late back from his boat run leaving only Louis to represent the movement.

 

He wished he'd bothered to comb his hair this morning as he shyly slunk out from behind the main desk, straightening his jeans and jumper and slipping on his khaki parka with the furry hood.

 

He wound a long black scarf around his neck and pulled on his mittens knowing Harry would see this broadcast at some point and if Louis even thought about not being dressed for cold weather (even though it wasn't cold) he knew he'd just get a lecture.

 

So he smiled sunnily towards the intimidating camera poking in his face and tried to remember not to fuck this up.

 

"WSB-TV, live here on Tybee Island in the midst of a protest against a gang of felons who are stealing the manatees...I'm Layla Woodhouse and this is Louis Tomlinson, ex-international surfer and employee of the Sea-Life Centre who have taken extreme measures to protect the wildlife...Louis, can you tell us what's going on?"

 

Louis cleared his throat and resisted the urge to fix his fringe, narrowing his eyes at the camera.

 

"Yeah...uh...basically several of the baby manatees have been targeted by a gang and for weeks we've had reports of violence and the actual theft of these animals from their natural habitat..." Louis explained, licking his lips. "The International Maritime Organisation have been informed of the allegations as the local PD don't deal with this type of thing but we can't wait for the law to show up so we've taken matters into our own hands, so to speak," he quirked his brows and pursed his lips in a way that would endear the audience.

 

"And what is it you're doing out here?" Layla asked.

 

"We're protecting the babies," Louis stated. "Luckily I have a few friends who happen to be free in the off-surf season and I've called in a few favours- and promised some- to have a few men out there each day watching the manatees and making sure this gang don't harm anyone else- human or animal," he mused.

 

"You're well known in the surfing industry and reports suggested you wanted to disappear after your career-ending accident," Layla commented, taking the questioning in a  direction Louis wasn't expecting.

 

He hadn't much thought about his own predicament when the cameras had shown up because none of this was meant to be about him. It was about Harry and how incredible he was and how Louis would do literally anything to win him back.

 

Louis nodded, about to speak, but Layla had more to say.

 

"What made you change your mind and get your face back on TV?"

 

Louis squinted at her cocking a brow.

 

"If the owner of the centre was here right now, he'd be doing this interview. Harry Styles has dedicated himself to this cause endlessly and if I can help even in the tiniest way by being recognised, then so be it. It's not a conscious choice, I can assure you. But these animals mean so much more."

 

"We can see you have your arm in a sling there, is there any indication as to when you'll be fully recovered?"

 

Louis shook his head.

 

"I'm not here to talk about my recovery."

 

"What is your relationship to Mr. Styles now?" Layla asked next. "We know there have been reports of an on-off romance for the two of you..."

 

Louis stared at her, half hating her for putting him in this position and half fearful for what words he might blurt out. His heart pounded painfully, constricting hard and releasing quick.

 

"It's complicated," he managed huskily.

 

He turned away before Layla had the idea to ask any more questions and as he headed for the centre his eyes flicked across the small crowd of people who had gathered to watch, the tall one being the most obvious.

 

His hair was being blown gently to the side in the breeze, his blue waterproofs suiting him somehow. Louis met his eyes, intense as usual and a new emotion showing there: confusion. His bowed lips were pursed together.

 

"I didn't know what to say," he told Harry right off. "I'm sorry if that wasn't-"

 

The gentle slide of long fingers worked up the inside of his wrist, circling there and grasping gently. Louis' breath caught and his throat closed in.

 

"You were perfect," Harry assured, deep and gentle.

 

Louis wanted to grasp his hand. His lashes fluttered.

 

"I had no idea they were going to ask about the surfing, I forgot who I was for a minute there," he mused.

 

Harry tilted his head, coming closer despite the crowds vying for his attention. Louis blinked up at Harry as Harry's free hand drifted upwards to brush his fringe back carefully.

 

"I know," he said, only he wasn't referring to the interview Louis had just taken. He was talking about much, much more and Louis' heart almost couldn't cope with the knowledge of it.

 

"I-"

 

Harry stooped and pressed a warm kiss to his lips, short but meaningful.

 

"Thank you, Louis," he whispered before stepping away and releasing his wrist.

 

The crowd surged in.

 

"Mr Styles! Harry! Are you and Louis back together?"

 

Harry lifted a rueful corner of his mouth, rolling his eyes. He bit his lip as Louis stared at him, unblinking.

 

"You can go back in if you want," he suggested, watching as Louis slowly made his way inside, turning at the door and giving Harry a confused look.

 

Harry turned to the media and blinked as several flashbulbs went off simultaneously.

 

"Whoa!" He teased. "Let's not blind me in the urge to get a fresh story..."

 

He sighed, lips twisting a bit as the flush of personal questions began and he set his mind to business, ignoring the innuendo.

 

//

 

_"So what's wrong, beautiful?"_

_Louis has his arms around Harry's shoulders as the bigger man lays against him, curling into his side, his cheek pressing to Louis' chest. They've just made love on the sofa, Harry having pushed him back into the seat to straddle him the moment he'd come in the door._

_Louis smiles as Harry's sigh out rolls across his skin._

_"The press outside," Harry mumbles._

_Louis lets his fingers drag gently through Harry's bright sunlight coloured hair._

_"You should be used to them by now," Louis muses._

_There'd been a growing band of low-grade paparazzi developing outside their complex ever since Louis had been picked up by a major sponsor and his first national tour would be starting the following week._

_"They're calling me your girlfriend," Harry objects. "Like I'm the girl in this relationship...like I'm the weak one..."_

_Louis squeezes his arms a bit._

_"We both know who's the strong one, Harry," he comments._

_Harry lifts his head, placing a soft kiss on Louis' mouth._

_"I hate it when you go away and I have to work."_

_"I know," Louis sighs, stroking his hair again until Harry lowers his chin and hums. "I wish I could take you with me."_

_"Trust me to choose marine science as a degree subject," Harry remarks._

_Louis tips his chin in to reach Harry's hair to lay a kiss there._

_"Because you're going to be a fantastic vetinarian," Louis assures. "For sea animals."_

_Harry hums again._

_"I can defer for a year," he considers._

_Louis cups the back of his neck gently, brushing his other hand down his arm gently._

_"Babe, I want you to do everything you planned to do in life if I weren't here." he encourages. "I'm not going to hold you back."_

_"But what if you meet someone else?" Harry asks. "What if you find someone better or prettier or-"_

_"Prettier?" Louis scoffs. "Not likely."_

_Harry smiles anyway and hides his face in Louis' chest._

_Louis' breath gets a bit short._

_"You might meet someone better, too," Louis broaches. "Someone who can be home with you always."_

_Harry wriggles a bit and curls his arms right around Louis' body._

_"I don't want anybody else," he assures._

_Louis tightens his arms to match, leaning down to kiss Harry's hair again._

_"Same goes for me, baby bear."_

_Harry snorts at the nickname but doesn't let go_.


	9. Chapter 9

Louis was at home when Harry got back.

 

He watched his own (mortifying) interview with the local media and he'd watched Harry's (absolutely perfect) Q&A too.

 

They had asked Harry about the nature of Louis' presence on the Island but Harry had expertly handled those questions and quickly turned the interview around to the real issue at hand- the stolen animals.

 

The International Maritime Organisation were due the following day for their visit and Louis knew most of Harry's day would be spent with them so when Harry loped into the living room, heavy with exhaustion, Louis scooted off the couch to make room.

 

"Here, Haz," he waited for Harry to crash down sideways and gently draped a blanket over him, sitting on the coffee table to cup his arm. "Are you ok?"

 

Harry groaned more than hummed, his voice thick with husk and something else, maybe emotion. His eyes were closed as he comforted himself on his back and Louis scraped his lower teeth over his upper lip in concern.

 

"Did you get hurt? Are you sick?" He asked worriedly, getting up to slip Harry's boots off, watching him fidget restlessly in trying to wrestle his jacket off.

 

"Hey, let me help," Louis mused, tugging down the blanket while he helped Harry awkwardly shuck off his thick coat, leaving him to fold his arms across his cream-jumpered chest.

 

Louis' eyes got distracted at his hips where the jumper had rucked up, exposing a thin sliver of Harry's lower abdomen, some tattoos faintly visible under the edge of his jumper. His jeans were belted, slipping off his hips almost.

 

"Haz, you want to take your jeans off?" He asked.

 

Harry hummed in his throat so Louis slipped off his sling and took a deep breath, carefully loosening his belt and undoing his flies, manoeuvring his big, heavy body to make him more comfortable.

 

So it was true. Harry had gotten ink while Louis was away. Quite alot of ink apparently, if the tiger on his thigh was anything to go by.

 

"Roar," Harry mumbled as Louis stared at the design.

 

It prompted him to tug off his tight fitting denim and he pulled at the hem of the jumper to cover his bare skin to make sure he didn't get a chill in his stomach but he hadn't erased the images of Harry's long, tan legs thrown haphazardly about.

 

The blanket was replaced over his body and Louis moved to turn out the light but the roughened, deep tones of his house-mate paused him in the doorway.

 

"Big Bear..." Harry growled, fighting off his blanket to reach his arms up from their previously folded position.

 

He turned, not sure he had heard right. Harry's arms remained upright, wavering a bit.

 

"Want my Big Bear," he added, almost incoherent.

 

Louis frowned, cautiously moving towards the sofa.

 

"Go to sleep, Haz." Louis told him, wondering if actually, maybe Harry could be _drunk_ rather than just plain exhausted.

 

Harry pouted, putting his arms down by his sides.

 

Louis fidgeted, putting one knee to the edge of the sofa. One of Harry's eyes opened, squinting at Louis and Louis was stunned by the dimpled smile that curved over his lips.

 

"Yay," he rumbled, lifting his arms and closing his eye again, waiting with a smug grin for Louis to finish climbing onto the sofa with him.

 

"The things I do for you," Louis muttered as he tried to correlate with Harry's already sprawled body, hardly any room left for him to fit other than directly on top of Harry; who's wide form was dominating the cushions.

 

Louis slipped one knee between Harry's and gingerly placed a hand under each armpit as he tried to lower himself carefully down, planning to inch to one side once he was horizontal. The only problem was Harry's arms threading up under his own and circling his waist, drawing him in, meaning Louis didn't have the grace to lower himself, instead pulled rather gently and insistently against Harry's chest.

 

He let out a low squeak of surprise, tilting to one side so that he could curl one arm under Harry's shoulder and rest his other hand against his chest to keep some distance, some-

 

"Home," Harry hummed as his chin settled into Louis' hair. Louis gave up trying to fight and sagged softly against him, Harry's personal teddy-bear for the night apparently. His thigh was warm between Harry's lovely slim ones, his small waist circled by big arms.

 

It _was_ home, Harry was right, it was the perfect kind of perfectness that Louis had never dreamed he might have again.

 

He sighed, his lashes flickering as tears edged his eyes, a heartbreaking smile slipping painfully onto his lips.

 

"I still love you," he whispered, again.

 

He needed to tell Harry the words he'd never managed to express while he was away, winning world-wide competitions.

 

Harry hummed and fidgeted a bit in his sleep as Louis comforted his cheek against Harry's chest.

 

//

 

It was early when Harry woke, the insistent ringing of his cell-phone being the noise that alerted him to consciousness.

 

Louis was draped across his body and Harry automatically slid a hand down to his hip for his jeans pocket, only then remembering that Louis had helped him out of his jeans last night and they were now laying in the middle of the floor.

 

His lips twisted knowing he had to answer the call, but torn with not wanting to disrupt Louis' sleep. He was small against Harry's larger body but their nicknames for each other reversed their size and reminded Harry of a time when things weren't difficult.

 

He managed to half-slide himself off the sofa to reach for his ]]jeans with a toe, flipping them up his leg until he could reach and the ringing started again, loud and jaunty.

 

He froze, fearing Louis had been woken but his house-guest merely fidgeted and smushed his cheek back into Harry's chest, his arms curled up against him cutely like the injured hedgehog Harry had alluded him to before.

 

He stroked a big palm down his back, searching out his phone with the other.

 

"Stay there, Lou," he murmured, finally dragging his phone out with his left hand and swiping the screen open to answer the call.

 

"Yes?" He greeted tersely, in a whisper.

 

"Harry Edward Styles..." Harry's mother, Anne started sternly.

 

Harry rubbed sleepily at his eye with a yawn.

 

"Yes, mom?"

 

"Why is Louis in Tybee?" She asked outright. "And why in the hell are you letting him back into your life?" She added for good measure.

 

Harry's brows rose, a shocked breath leaving his lungs through his gaped mouth.

 

Of all the repercussions of his flaunt with fame yesterday, he hadn't in a million years expected _this_.

 

"I'm not," he gravelled quietly. "Mom, I'm not, he's just-"

 

"He's just what, Harry? Seducing you back into his arms?" Anne accused sharply and Harry felt a horrible creeping knowledge rush over him, staining his cheeks. He swallowed guiltily.

 

"It's not like that," he promised, his voice heavy with sadness. If only his mother knew what Louis had been through, was still going through. She didn't seem to be in the mood to listen.

 

"I swear to God, Harry, if I find out you took him back--"

 

Harry sighed, pressing the heel of his hand above his eye where a pounding began.

 

"You'll what, Mom?" He dared to challenge her. "You'll disown me?"

 

Anne was apparently shocked into silence.

 

Harry let his fingers play with the long strands of Louis' hair. Louis was still fast asleep on his chest and it had nothing to do with seduction.

 

"I still love him, Mom," Harry whispered. "I always have."

 

"You were supposed to be getting over him!" She replied tartly. "Tybee was supposed to be the place you hid away until the whole world forgot what he did to you and now everybody is talking about it again, talking about you two being together again..."

 

"I can't talk about this now," he admitted softly. If Louis woke up and heard what his mother was saying, it could send him backwards in his recovery, it could make Louis think he didn't have a chance, still.

 

And it was maybe the tiniest sliver of hope, the smallest speck, even. But it was the first time Harry had seen it since finding Louis back in his life.

 

"For the love of god," Anne muttered. "Do not tell me you're with him right now..."

 

Harry sighed.

 

"I'm not with him right now," he lied blatantly.

 

Anne uttered some angry words under her breath and ended the call, leaving Harry to check his messages.

 

_Niall: Jeff and I got the boats covered till midday. IMO due at 3pm...you ok?_

 

Harry texted back quickly.

 

**All good here, Lou & I will be there after breakfast.**

 

Niall's reply was quick and cheeky.

 

_You two still in bed? Good night huh?_

**Don't be crass. My Mom just rang, she's seen the news. Threatened to disown me if anything happens with Lou...**

_Do what makes you happy, Haz._

Harry stared at his phone, considering the sentiment. Things weren't easy right now and Louis' depression and injury didn't make him happy but having him back? Knowing he could hold him again and maybe just _talk_ to him?

 

Harry had a niggling feeling those things _did_ make him happy. Happier than he had any right to be considering their past.

 

He rubbed his hand gently up and down Louis' back to stir him.

 

"Hey...hey, Lou? We need to get up..."

 

Louis snuffled and fidgeted, grasping handfuls of Harry's jumper to hide in. Harry couldn't help his smile, rubbing his back a bit more.

 

"Come on, I have to meet the IMO after lunch..." he encouraged.

 

"Comfy." Louis expressed softly, twisting to start an eventual move off the sofa.

 

"Hmm, I know," Harry stretched his legs a bit, only realising then how tightly their legs were entwined.

 

Louis' thigh felt thick and firm against his manhood and it brought back too many colourful memories into Harry's mind. More than the pressure of Louis' lovely little body, the images of Louis rutting against his hip coming against his belly...the way Harry had fucked between those thighs and used one of them to grind against when he needed to come _fast_ and _hard_.

 

It wasn't Harry's fault then that his body reacted in the most natural way in the world while Louis wriggled against him. He knew Louis had felt his hard-on the second he froze.

 

His sleep-ruffled head of hair lifted, revealing his still-waking features. His blue eyes were soft and hazy. He shifted, just an inch as if testing the hard heat was real and not a figment of his imagination.

 

Harry's lashes fluttered shut and he swallowed back a tight moan.

 

"Oh," he heard Louis expel a bit of a gasp. "Uh...sorry, Jesus...sorry, Haz..."

 

Louis' panicked writhing was only making things worse so Harry grasped above his elbows firmly, opening his eyes.

 

"Lou," he said thickly.

 

Louis stopped moving and looked at him.

 

"What do you want me to do?" Louis asked, breaths falling fast against Harry's cheek. Harry could feel the tattered beat of his heart.

 

He had a hundred answers for him but none of them were appropriate. He spread his knees a bit.

 

"Put your knee against the cushion," he instructed.

 

Louis followed the direction, getting to his hands and knees carefully. Harry reached up and glided fingers through his messy hair as Louis paused there, staring down.

 

"I've missed you, Big Bear," he admitted quietly, like he was afraid the words word shatter and break on being exposed to air.

 

Louis sucked in a  breath, trying to absorb the sounds and their meaning. He let his eyes flick down Harry's body, over his jumpered torso, onto his bare tummy, once again revealed where his jumper had ridden up. His eyes bravely darted south, wanting to see the heavy press of Harry's arousal against his boxer-briefs.

 

It was there, proud and jutted as Harry's breathing quickened anxiously, not sure what Louis would do next.

 

"I missed you too, Baby Bear," Louis said then, biting his lip against wanting to suck Harry off. He remembered the way Harry tasted, sharp and sweet, the way he whimpered when Louis hollowed his cheeks.

 

He leaned forward and pressed a soft, short kiss against his cheek before clambering off the sofa to shower up, ready for the day ahead.

 

//

 

When they made it down to the centre, the sun was already strong.

 

Harry had forgone his usual jeans and boots of late to wear smart white cotton trousers and sandals, a short-sleeved blue and lilac print shirt over his torso. He'd wanted to look smart for their visitors and Louis wanted to kiss him until he whined in his throat.

 

Louis decided to wear his adidas long shorts and a vest with vans, his arm back in it's sling and faring well since his attack. He was actually allowed to go without the sling for longer periods now, he just used it when he felt his shoulder needed protection.

 

He let one of the surfer's wives lead him off for a haircut, looking back at Harry who was busy in the foyer discussing tactics with Niall.

 

"Don't worry sweetie, we'll get you back to your boyfriend soon enough," Laura cooed.

 

"He's not my-" Louis began quietly, but Laura placed a finger to his lips as she sat him down.

 

"We'll soon change that," she winked.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"You might want to start by telling his Mom I'm not a complete douche," he mused.

 

Laura smiled at him sympathetically.

 

"My mother hated Mike when I introduced him to the family," she shared. "She knew he was the man who could break my heart..."

 

Louis chucked out a breath, tipping his chin down as Laura began to trim his already-damp hair. He hadn't had time to blow-dry it after his shower.

 

"Well what if he did?" Louis posed. "Then what?"

 

Laura rubbed his good arm a little in comfort.

 

"I think most of us know you didn't do anything bad, Louis. You just got  a little lost on your way and now you're finding the right road. I can understand that Harry's family are worried about him but...well honey, you can't hide the way you look at him and that says it all really," she observed.

 

Louis smiled at her light accusation and hummed his agreement.

 

"Do you think I should call Anne and try to talk to her?" He asked.

 

Laura shook her head.

 

"When she sees how loved up her son is, she'll forgive you..."

 

"Which," Louis realised suddenly. "I need to ask Harry out. I don't even know what he likes anymore..."

 

Laura snipped gently at his hair as he sighed.

 

"He's still the same person, Louis...I'm sure you can think of something..."

 

Louis _could_ think of something, actually.

 

Something that he could pull off back at his rented town house where the property backed onto a deck and a swimming pool; a barbeque pit right next to the swing seating.

 

There was a low corner with a futon and cushions next to the pool; shrouded by trees and shrub. It'd be perfect to cook some outdoor food and then slip into the pool, curling up together in the corner.

 

He'd have to put the garden heaters on and light up the pool area but it'd be so worth it. He smiled to himself.

 

//

 

Louis stayed as far away from the press as possible, helping the female contingent of the mission in making drinks and food.

 

The IMO showed up in the afternoon and Harry led them around the cove, the current day's shifts still taking place until extra security was provided by the IMO.

 

They promised to have surveillance and security presence available within the hour and the front desk was fitted with the security cameras before night fall.

 

Harry had tried some of the beef stew Louis had made, smiling at him with a twinkle and complimenting his efforts in the kitchen.

 

Liam hadn't been able to join the shifts because of his full-time job but he showed up for the last boat-ride out to collect the last volunteers shortly before sun fall.

 

A lone pap tucked into the shadows outside the centre as a minor celebration broke out, Harry leading the party with a wide proud smile and gratuitous thanks to the volunteers involved.

 

Clay cleared his throat, reminding Harry who deserved the real thanks.

 

"Wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Louis," he pointed out.

 

Harry grinned and addressed the room.

 

"None of this would have been possible if Louis hadn't called in the help of his friends," he acknowledged. "And of course his super-star status didn't hurt us in getting the spotlight put on this gang..."

 

The crowd chuckled along, Louis rolling his eyes and hiding behind Liam.

 

"So everybody make sure you give Louis a hug to show your appreciation tonight," Harry beamed. "I know I will..."

 

Louis had suffered a long line of hugs thanks to Harry's speech and most of his friends headed off before it got too late, free of their commitment now.

 

"You win that man back, you hear now?" Clay had winked at him.

 

Louis smiled with a nod.

 

"I'll try my best, Marzo..."

 

"Get him before someone else does," Mike chimed in.

 

The thought of someone else with Harry made Louis' blood run cold. He grimaced at the idea of it, resolute in his mission.

 

"Get out of here," Louis rolled his eyes, waving them off.

 

It was getting chilly out and he hadn't brought warm clothes to change into, not sure what to expect from the day's activities.

 

"Wanna go home?"

 

Harry's voice was low behind him.

 

Louis turned, seeing the edges of exhaustion creeping up on the blonde man. Harry smiled tiredly, pulling his hair into a bun.

 

"More than," Louis admitted, following Harry to the truck.

 

//

 

"Today was incredible..."

 

They were in Harry's bed, on their backs, side by side.

 

"You did so well, Haz..."

 

"No, _you_ did," Harry argued. "I know you didn't want to use your celebrity and I can bet you didn't want to stir up our personal shit for the press but the IMO are going to take these reports more seriously from now on. I think we've given them a kick in the ass."

 

"The paps took a picture of us when we left," Louis hedged then.

 

"I know," Harry breathed. He couldn't have missed the blinding flash if he'd tried. The moment was embedded in his mind because Louis' hand had been gently supportive on his lower back as they walked to the truck.

 

"I expect they'll make it into something it's not," Louis added.

 

Harry hummed, his hand idling by his side, brushing Louis'.

 

"It's not?" He asked bravely, swallowing hard as his lungs went into overdrive and his head span with trying not to scream out loud at himself for asking such a stupid question.

 

Louis' hand opened towards his, flattening a bit. Harry let his rest on top of it.

 

"I heard that your Mom isn't a fan of mine..."

 

Harry chucked out a wet laugh and tangled their fingers together, squeezing hard.

 

"No, that's a true statement," he allowed, looking over. "Can you blame her?"

 

Louis met his gaze, flicking to his lips.

 

"No..." he squeezed his hand right back.

 

"Since when did we care what my Mom thinks?" Harry wondered, remembering the time he'd lost his virginity to Louis, the way his mother had told him their relationship wasn't healthy when Harry got too clingy, how she hadn't really wanted them to move in together.

 

Louis huffed out a laugh.

 

"Since never," he conceded.

 

"Well, then," Harry murmured.

 

"Will you-" Louis swallowed, sucking in a breath. "Would you like to go on a date?"

 

Harry made a rueful face, looking down his nose at Louis, making his eyes seem almost crossed.

 

"Yeah?" Harry's smile was slow and happy.

 

"Yeah," Louis breathed. "I've got it all planned- it's a pool date so you can bring your trunks," he added.

 

Harry laughed, loud and free, looking away and then back at Louis.

 

"You're going to cook?" He asked doubtfully.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"I've got a barbecue pit."

 

"I don't eat meat," Harry arched a brow.

 

"I know," Louis smiled smugly back.

 

Harry bit his lower lip.

 

"Okay," he agreed shyly, wanting to roll onto his side. But if he did, they'd have to break their hand-hold.

 

"Awesome," Louis nodded.

 

Harry lifted his foot and placed it between Louis', crossing their ankles.

 

"Can we go to sleep now?" He asked and it was Louis' turn to chuckle.

 

"Yes, Baby Bear, we can sleep now..."

 

Harry made a noise in his throat and lifted Louis' hand to his mouth to press a kiss there.

 

Louis smiled as he closed his eyes.

 

//

 

 

Harry stretched his body out, full tummy facing the sky.

 

They'd just enjoyed vege burgers with vegetable skewers and corn from the grill. He was stuffed.

 

"I've got sugared bananas and honeyed peaches for dessert," Louis said as he brought over two glasses of sparkling water and set one on the wall beside Harry.

 

The futon was set low between the patio and the pool. Harry was like a giant cat arcing and curling in amongst the cushions.

 

"That was amazing Lou," Harry smiled slipping his ray bans over his eyes. "Why don't you come over here?" He added as Louis hesitantly paced by the pool.

 

They were both still dressed (thankfully for Louis' libido) in tops and shorts. Harry had on a sunshine yellow pair with a lemon yellow shirt unbuttoned to his navel flashing a piece of body art Louis knew only too well.

 

The gauzy fabric of his shirt gave Louis a glimpse at the dark imprints of whatever he had tattooed across his hips but it still wasn't clear and Louis didn't want to ask.

 

He made his way over to the bed and perched on it right near the edge sipping his drink and squinting into the pool. He hadn't packed any sunglasses.

 

Harry dug through the mound of pillows and flung a visor at him. Louis settled it on his head chewing his straw.

 

Harry leaned his chin on his hand and beamed.

 

"Looks good," he appreciated.

 

Louis let go of his anxiety for one second to look over at Harry laid on his side all coquettish and... _inviting_. Harry was very definitely inviting him. 

 

Shade was cast on their patch by the wall meaning they didn't have to worry about burning in the hot sun. Louis wriggled down and across finding himself in Harry's territory.

 

"Hey," Harry greeted, running his fingers into Louis' newly cut hair. "Not such a gypsy now, hm?"

 

Louis smirked rolling his eyes. His hand darted out awkwardly landing between them and sliding a bit so that his fingers picked at the hem of Harry's shirt.

 

Harry smiled and sat up a bit to fling the thing away. Louis' eyes were instantly glued to the two giant fern leaves branching across Harry's very sensitive and beautiful skin.

 

"When did you-" Louis began to ask but Harry was leaning over him pulling at his own t-shirt.

 

Louis let it fly away with a flash of insecurity. Where Harry had lovely wide shoulders and strong arms, Louis was reedy and flat-chested. He had a softly muscled belly that pouched where Harry had a faint six pack and defined V.

 

Louis swallowed, waiting for Harry's eyes to flick over him and deliver a verdict. Maybe Harry didn't like skinny guys anymore. Maybe he wanted someone taller and better for him.

 

His eyes were reverent upon Louis' body and he splayed a gentle hand over Louis' tiny belly, only then meeting his gaze.

 

"You've no idea how much I've missed you, Louis."

 

Louis sucked in a breath tucking Harry's long blonde curls back and cupping his neck.

 

"Are you sure I'm what you want?" He asked. Because he had to know really. What if Harry was playing some elaborate trick on him and making him fall only to break his heart again ?

 

Harry was leaning over him pressing their chests together slightly. As Louis tilted his head so did Harry and then they were kissing, slow and hesitant but it was very definitely kissing.

 

Louis moaned and cupped his face kissing him deeper. It had been too long. Too much time had passed. It was like kissing Harry that first time in the park under the street lamp after holding hands all night.

 

It had been just as electric and twice as sweet then.

 

Louis stared at him as he pulled away, lips swollen pink.

 

Harry settled on his back with a relaxed sigh.

 

"Can we sleep for a bit? Before we swim and have dessert?"

 

Louis looked over at Harry who was curling away and he tucked himself against Harry's back training back his hair again gently.

 

"Go to sleep Baby Bear it's hard work eating dinner," Louis teased and Harry snorted clasping Louis' hand that had slipped around his waist. 

 

"Just for a bit," Harry promised as he snoozed off in the summer sun.

 

//

 

 

Harry wasn't sure how it had come about really, his memory was hazy.

 

They'd woken up soft and close and kissing had been instigated very quickly after that, soft pressure and the sweet slide of hands over semi-clothed skin.

 

They'd taken a dip in the pool with the intention to cool things off but then Louis was cooking desserts and now-

 

"Lou!" Harry gasped, fingers flexing against his shoulders.

 

"Mhhhm," Louis licked a stripe across his belly, pouring more honey there from the hot peaches he was feeding Harry between sticky kisses to his stomach.

 

Harry tried to consume the fruit waving about in Louis' other hand, pushed against his lips messily but it was hopeless. Louis may as well just mash the whole lot over his skin and eat it straight off.

 

"Fuck... _fuck_!" Harry felt his body harden dangerously, hips rucking under Louis' lithe form.

 

It caused the smaller man to pull away, licking his lips gratuitously, sugary glaze dripping off his chin.

 

"You taste amazing," Louis smirked.

 

Harry tucked his thumbs under his yellow shorts band, yanking them down with the intention of getting  a hand on himself to add to the sticky mess covering them both but Louis' brow arched with interest.

 

"Oh yeah?" He asked, licking his lips.

 

Harry blinked, unable to get words past his throat which just choked out a sound of need. He wanted to kiss Louis some more- maybe a _lot_ more- but right now, his dick was reddening with the need to release and the feeling was overtaking his mind.

 

He watched with slow blinking dark green eyes as Louis reached for more peaches, drizzling the remainder of the honey over Harry's arousal. Harry wriggled his hips, reaching for himself but Louis straddled his hips and tangled their fingers together, pressing Harry's hands back into the futon by his ears.

 

"Don't touch, Baby Bear," Louis murmured, unsticking their fingers on one hand to wrap around him finally.

 

Finally!

 

It was so hot, the way Louis held him tight around sticky sweet coating, the way his blue eyes were overtaken by the dark pupils of his lust.

 

"Please," Harry whispered.

 

"Please, what?" Louis growled, stroking him faster.

 

Harry gasped, surging up into his hand.

 

"Kiss me," he groaned. "Lou-"

 

Louis pressed his lips into Harry's jaw, kissing sugar from his chin and then sucking his lower lip sweetly.

 

"Hmm," Louis hummed, leaning down to press into Harry's body, his own hard heat burning through his shorts against Harry's hip, his small hand still trying to fit around Harry's length and stroking, slowly now, as slow as he kissed. "Mmm-mm..."

 

Harry flicked his tongue out into Louis' mouth to capture the sugary taste, to receive his tongue. It unravelled quickly then, his body so tight and hot. His hips pushed up insistently as Louis' ground down, anchoring his hips to the bed.

 

"Lou," he gasped in warning as Louis' hands dug under his ass-cheeks to cup them  both, his kiss slipping from Harry's lips down his chest where his tongue lathed over each nipple and then down further, determined in its destination.

 

Harry whimpered and rocked his hips as Louis licked the honey out of his navel, smirking as he stared at Harry's flushed dick.

 

"I've missed you, sweetheart," he rumbled, stretching out his tongue to suck Harry clean of sticky residue.

 

Harry panted out a low-pitched  cry, releasing onto Louis' tongue heavily, his body twitching in it's ecstasy. His big hand gripped gently into the back of Louis' short hair and held him there, mouth open over him, taking his seed and swallowing tight around him.

 

Louis slid up his body, dark whirlpool eyes fixing intensely on Harry's as he ground into him, finding friction against Harry's body. It was the hottest thing Harry had ever seen, watching Louis watching _him_ as he rutted against him, seeking his high. A high that came all too soon. Harry could have watched Louis like that all night truth be told.

 

Louis made a whimpering noise high in his throat and his hips stuttered against Harry's, a wet heat seeping through his board-shorts as he gasped in air.

 

Harry splayed his hands on Louis' back as they returned to earth. He felt Louis' nose nudging at his jaw, kitten-licks over his skin there.

 

"Can we take this inside?" Louis hummed.

 

Harry nodded before he had too long to consider a proper answer, wanting to shower off their mess and change into fresh clothes.

 

Louis helped him to stand on shaky legs, leading him by the hand through his house.

 


	10. Chapter 10

It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

Fruity cocktails, bright, warm sunshine and sticky fruit desserts were to blame for Harry's hedonistic dive into the past.

 

He shifted, stretched out bare on his belly, feeling the tell-tale ache in his body; one he hadn't felt in too long.

 

An ache only Louis' lovely thickness could cause.

 

His ass clenched a bit in memory of that and he sighed out, eyes squeezing shut regretfully.

 

_**_

_Louis' teeth sank into the firm muscle of his butt cheek as he twisted his fingers, taking them deeper to stretch Harry open._

_"Feel so good, beautiful...just like you always do."_

_"Lou, I can take you," Harry begged on a clogged throat, his voice sounding deep and thick._

_Louis took his time over it, took his sweet, gentle time and when he finally, finally sank into him, Harry was instantly coming hard against the bed-covers._

_Louis had turned him over, shifted Harry into his lap and made him lay in his own sticky semen while he made love to him slow and deep._

_God, **so** deep._

_As deep as his soulful blue eyes._

_**_

 

His mother was going to kill him.

 

He was just considering his options as far as escape went when a warm, solid body stirred at his side, signalling the fact that Louis was curled half onto his back somehow, one of his arms hooking around Harry's waist in pre-emptive defence against Harry's departure.

 

_#Baby don't go...don't leave me now, now, now..#_

 

Louis always used to sing to him, sometimes he'd sing him to sleep on the nights he was so anxious he couldn't stop fidgeting and worrying. Sometimes he'd sing him awake, kissing him softly and brushing back his sleep-messed curls.

 

Sometimes he'd just pick up a guitar in the middle of a crowded gathering and plonk himself down to sing Harry the sweetest love songs and Harry would watch him with hearts in his eyes.

 

Louis hadn't sung to him for some time and Harry couldn't pretend that all that had happened since then didn't matter.

 

He still had feelings for Louis, that much was true. But he shouldn't have let things go as far as they had...he shouldn't have had sex with him and now he felt mortified at having to flee. He was never the guy to run, he was always Louis' port.

 

But something twisted in his gut and he just had to get out.

 

He just needed to get out.

 

//

 

"What time do you call this?"

 

Harry's head snapped up from where he watched his bare feet delicately pick up the stairs to his apartment.

 

"Mom?"

 

"I've been waiting since last night," Anne chided. "Where have you been?"

 

Harry blinked.

 

His Mom tilted her head.

 

"Let's just get inside shall we?" She suggested tersely.

 

The twisting in Harry's gut became more like churning.

 

//

 

 

Harry laid down two mugs of tea and huffed out a sigh as he curled into the sofa next to his mother who instantly hugged him like he was a small child, letting him curl up in the foetal position in her lap while she stroked his hair.

 

"Baby, what are you doing?" She asked softly. "You know you're going to get hurt, he's done it before..."

 

"He's different now," Harry quickly defended but in a soft, husked voice. "He's changed."

 

"They all say that, Baby H and they never do. They never really do." Anne counselled.

 

Harry shook his head with a bitter grimace.

 

"That's not true. I've seen how he's different. It's not just words."

 

Anne hummed, rubbing over his arm a bit.

 

"So you want to try again?" She asked carefully.

 

Harry felt the tight press of his lips wobble, the ache of pressing his teeth together seep into his jaw as tears threatened.

 

"I've done something really stupid," he admitted as tears began to trickle down his cheek onto Anne's thigh.

 

"What is it, H? What's happened?"

 

"I slept with him," he swallowed back the sore griminess in his throat. "I promised myself I wouldn't, not until I was sure we could make it this time, you know? I wasn't going to put myself in that position again and-"

 

"He seduced you," she nodded knowledgeably. "You sure he's changed?"

 

Harry's eyes widened in horror, his chest feeling buzzy and strange, his head spinning.

 

"H-He never used t-to-" He stuttered out, choking down a sob.

 

"Oh Harry I know you didn't see it but he did, honey. Whenever you were mad at him he'd just charm his way out of it..."

 

Harry shook his head, trying to deny the claim but he knew it was partly true. The only thing was, his mother didn't know that half of Harry's accusations against Louis were either exaggerated or made up from his own insecurity and he wasn't that person anymore, no matter how vulnerable Louis made him feel.

 

"Mom, I was only mad at him because I was being silly," Harry stated gently. "But last night, I felt like we could have it all back, you know? I don't think I can ever love anyone else the same way that I love Louis."

 

"You don't have to," Anne soothed, stroking his hair again. "Sometimes in life you have to take second best because it's what's better for you. Louis may be your first choice but look what it does to you sweetheart. Wouldn't you prefer a man who can make you feel safe?"

 

Harry's eyes darted around the room because _no_.

 

_No!_

 

He didn't want that at all, he wanted to make _Louis_ feel safe. It was his sole objective really, along with making him feel loved no matter what. And Harry would somehow rather live with the fear that came from loving someone for real than the plastic fakeness of pretending to love someone else.

 

He didn't want to feel safe. He wanted to be dangerously in love.

 

"No, Mom, I wouldn't," he answered eventually sniffling and wiping his nose on the back of his hand. "I want to feel something _real_ , you know?"

 

Anne sighed and Harry felt it flutter over his shoulders.

 

"If I have to pick up the pieces of your heart again, I can't promise he'll make it out alive a second time," she warned.

 

Harry felt his lips turn upwards and hiccupped with emotion, a painful acceptance bubbling up in his chest.

 

"Okay," he agreed with a dopey smile.

 

"Okay," she kissed his hair. "Now drink your tea and tell me about your manatees," she insisted.

 

Harry smiled in relief at the change of subject.

 

He could talk about his babies all day long.

 

//

 

There was no note. That was the thing.

 

If somebody left before the other woke, they should leave a note, it was dating 101. Always indicate that you're still into it.

 

 _Only_....

 

Harry _hadn't_ left a note.

 

Louis' body was in physical mourning from not having a beautiful warm Harry to wake up next to. Maybe even wake up _on_.

 

His mind was somewhere else, galloping fast ahead to a place where nothing made sense like tumbleweed and roses twined in each other, blowing away with sharp thorns.

 

"Li?" He husked as his best friend picked up after a few rings.

 

"Hey Louis...what's up? How did date night go?"

 

Louis swallowed.

 

**

_"Oh god...incredible...too long," Louis mumbled out, sliding his hard heat up the plane of Harry's taut belly so that the head of his dick caught slightly on his navel. "Gonna get that pieced, babe?" He asked of Harry's belly button._

_Harry had groaned in his throat and rocked up to slide his own heat against Louis' thigh although Louis was on top of him in a fantastically heavy way so there was barely any friction._

_"What would you have? Bar? Hoop? Something pretty dangling there...?"_

_Harry slid his big hands over Louis' ass and squeezed. Louis thrust in hard against his stomach._

_"Ah! Oh, like that, huh?" Louis caught his panted, staccato breath._

_Harry pushed his lips towards Louis' ear._

_"Gonna paint something on for me?" He asked. "While I get pierced?"_

_Louis kissed him then, firm and tender, sucking his lips and pressing down hard._

_"How about a mermaid?" Louis suggested. "With blonde hair like yours and a green tail like your eyes..."_

_Harry grinned and tipped his face away, trying to contain his giggles._

_Louis slowed his hips, biting his lip to watch Harry shining._

_"What?" Louis asked softly._

_"I've already got a mermaid," Harry smiled, lifting up his forearm to show Louis the new art which he had of course seen, but maybe hadn't acknowledged quite fully._

_Louis' lips twitched._

_"Guess I don't get a tatt then," he mused._

_Harry glared at him for three full seconds before twisting and throwing Louis' weight back into the bed, kneeling across him. He kissed Louis' lips hard in punishment._

_"You can get a merman," he suggested quietly. "A little one."_

_Louis rolled his eyes. And then he went back to kissing Harry._

**

 

"It went really well," Louis offered to Liam, then swallowed. "Until I woke up in bed on my own..."

 

"Oh," Liam said, sounding a bit shocked. "So um...Harry stayed the night then, I take it?"

 

"Mm-hm," Louis confirmed. "And left without so much as a note."

 

"Text?" Liam tried.

 

"Nothing," Louis relayed with a sinking feeling in his chest. "Nothing at all."

 

"Have you tried calling him?" Liam suggested.

 

"If I know him as well as I think I do...he doesn't _want_ me to call," Louis admitted sadly.

 

Liam hummed.

 

"Look, why don't you meet me down at the mall and you can help me decide what to get Sophia for her birthday," Liam suggested then. "It'll do you good to get out for a bit."

 

"Alright," Louis agreed, thinking air and hot chocolate might help a lot actually.

 

"See you in an hour?" Liam posed.

 

Louis rolled out of bed to get ready.

 

//

 

_Hey. Everything ok?_

Louis checked his text for the hundredth time. It was now nearing midday and he still hadn't had a reply..

 

He opened  a new message to Niall.

 

_Hey. Is Harry ok?_

Great. Now he was just being stalker-ish texting his friends to find out how he was and what was going on. But then-

 

Louis kind of deserved _something_. Even if it was a _bad_ something, he still deserved a response.

 

He rolled his eyes and gave himself a talking-to, dialling the number and lifting his cell to his ear while Liam paid for the exquisite pink diamond bracelet he'd found for Sophia.

 

_"Hey this is Harry...leave a message after the beep..."_

Louis swallowed, his heart racing. _Should he say something? Should he hang up? What should he do?_

 

"Um...hi. _Oh god_...listen, this is- _fuck_. It's Louis...obviously," he added with a bitter twist of his lips. "And I think I fucked up last night if you'll excuse the pun and well...I just wanted to hear it from you, really," he sighed, trying to catch his breath.

 

His heart was thrumming so hard Louis was surprised it wasn't leaking blood by now.

 

"Please just--just let me know yeah? Don't worry about it being bad news, I'd just rather know, okay? Uh...yeah, I um....I'm going now," he decided. "Bye."

 

Louis ended the call and looked up, startling to see Liam there, watching him with a soulful expression.

 

"Anything?" His friend asked.

 

Louis shook his head with a tight smile and tried to keep the disappointment out of his eyes even if it was there in the tenseness of his body.

 

"I think we need doughnuts," Liam said.

 

And Louis thought he had found his saviour after all.

 

//

 

It was Niall that called Louis to tell him there'd been an incident on Williamson Island.

 

Apparently Harry's precious plovers had been infiltrated by humans, people who had destroyed their habitat and left some of them without their nests and young.

 

It was a crucial time of year for rearing youngsters and some of the birds were distraught, some of them injured.

 

"It's just like Harry ta go down there without tellin' me," Niall was relaying as Louis licked the sugar off his doughnut. "He just thinks of the animals and not himself..."

 

"Are you going down there?" Louis asked.

 

"Me and Jeff are heading down, we're just packing up the boat, wondered if you wanted to ride out with us," Niall posed.

 

Louis swallowed, putting his doughnut down slowly and flicking Liam a look. His slid the speaker of his cell away from his lips.

 

"Harry's gone wading into the marsh and climbing rocks to save his damn plovers," he shared. "Can you take me to the centre?"

 

Liam nodded right away.

 

Louis thanked him and went back to his call.

 

"See you in twenty minutes."

 

Louis sighed softly as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

 

"Fuck!" He hissed, pulling it back out and redialling.

 

_"Hey this is Harry...leave a message after the beep..."_

 

He gritted his teeth and looked at his friend.

 

"Li, what if he's hurt?" He pleaded.

 

Liam reached out and cupped his shoulder.

 

"Harry's well practiced, he knows how to alert the authorities if anything goes wrong," Liam assured.

 

Louis pressed his lips together, not comforted.

 

"Let's get out of here," he stood and turned to go.

 

//

 

There was some kind of painful irony in going to help the man you loved when you had an inkling that he didn't love you back.

 

When in fact, that man had let you make the sweetest, most meaningful love to him and then disappeared the morning after, forgoing early morning cuddles and being woken with rough-husk singing that he had once loved.

 

Maybe Harry just didn't want that old life of theirs back, Louis mused on the boat ride out to Williamson Island. Which apparently was _only_ accessible by boat. A fact which hadn't calmed Louis' raging insides.

 

Maybe Harry just needed something new, something better. Maybe he needed big gestures and grand declarations in place of the sweet, private appreciation Louis had shown him. Maybe it just wasn't enough showing Harry how much he meant to him behind closed doors.

 

Maybe all that Harry had ever wanted was for Louis to show him off, to boast about how incredible he was in every interview and to advertise to the whole world just who Harry was.

 

Only Louis had been reluctant to do that. He'd wanted to protect Harry from the media storm related to his new-found fame and he'd wanted to hide their love away to stop the paparazzi fraying their knitted edges.

 

Did Harry need that? Did he need Louis to blast it from the rooftops and all the way into space? Because he would. Louis totally would.

 

He had been cautiously afraid up until now of any little progress they had made, knowing it might lead them here, to a final conclusion that hurt him as much (if not more) than the day Harry broke up with him. He'd been scared to hope for something real. The fear was now more real than anything else and yet Louis still loved him.

 

Which meant he wasn't going to let Harry struggle in the marshes on his own trying to save his precious birds all by himself. It meant he was going to be there beside him even if Harry didn't want him in that way, physically or romantically. It was time for Louis to give up his own self and put someone else before him.

 

//

 

Maybe it hadn't been his brightest idea.

 

Okay...It _definitely_ hadn't been his brightest idea.

 

But he was running from something that was so intense it left him breathless and weak.

 

 _Louis_.

 

He loved Louis.

 

Harry lifted his head again from his prone position. He'd managed to cage three injured plovers and had inserted some emergency wads of dried reed to help restore their nests. He couldn't physically help the ones who had lost their babies; the ones with ruffled plumage and beaks open weakly tweeting.

 

His chest felt heavy with the knowledge but he was in a predicament.

 

His boat was a few hundred feet away and he was flat on his back on the rocks, his lower leg sunk into some quick sand between those rocks, his knee bloodied and bruised.

 

He'd fallen of course, had crashed onto his knees and had made hard impact with the sharp rock. Running on adrenaline he'd rolled himself over to get up but his foot had slid into the gap where the sand sucked his limb down. 

 

And it hurt like fuck when he'd tried to pull on it, his bruised knee protesting each tug.

 

In the end he'd sighed and rolled his eyes digging his phone out of his windbreaker to call Niall.

 

Only there wasn't any signal and the wind was cold across the bay.

 

Harry hoped his captured birds would survive the extra wait to get medical care.

 

In the hours since his fall- _where he imagined Niall rescuing him followed by vivid images of having to cut off his own leg to survive_ \- he'd managed to scrape his hair into a bun and pull on his beanie and gloves.

 

It was cold and uncomfortable out there; the rocks were digging into the backs of his thighs and shoulder blades and his lower back was achy and sore.

 

"Is this karma?" He asked the violet and rose wisped sky. "Is this because I snuck out?"

 

Harry grumbled as a baby plover hopped over his middle looking at him bemusedly.

 

"I know I don't belong here," he told the bird. "No need to walk all over me..."

 

The tiny creature hopped over to its mother who fed him with a sand worm.

 

"At least someone's getting fed," he mused.

 

As the sky turned indigo he began to think nobody was coming for him. It was a bit of a stark reality knowing he would be leaving Louis behind without really telling him how he felt.

 

And maybe he did deserve to be denied that chance because he had fucked Louis about and that wasn't on. That wasn't on at all.

 

It was mid-delirium almost that Harry heard the buzz of a motor and loud succinct voices.

 

"His boat is here! Everything's inside it, he can't be far..."

 

"I'll moor up, you two start looking. Take the flashlights..."

 

"Harry?" A loud piercing voice called like the sound cupid would make calling to his soulmate.

 

"Louis?" He groaned out, mouth dry as he tried to lick his lips. "Big Bear?" 

 

His voice was too weak and brittle, blowing away in the wind

 

 

//

 

It was hard work getting across the rocks which jagged up and down sharply, housing the Plovers quite safely which they also worked to avoid since Harry had come to rebuild their home and not destroy it even more.

 

Louis was avid in his exploration, darting from rock to rock nimbly, his eyes scanning the thunderous boulders for their prey.

 

"Harry?" He called again, praying for a response. He held his breath in case it was small and quiet but the slap of waves on the rocks drowned everything out and mussed up Louis' fringe.

 

He pushed it out of the way, backwards out of his eyes.

 

"Fuck, where is he?" He gritted his teeth, glancing back at Niall.

 

"Keep going, Lou," he signalled ahead and Louis did what he was told.

 

His lungs burned a bit with the unexpected exercise but he wouldn't stop until Harry was found safe.

 

"Harry?" He called again, tilting his head to listen.

 

"Lou!"

 

It was choked out, almost lost in the waves and washed away but Louis heard it and clung to it.

 

"Over here!" Louis yelled out to Niall, changing direction. "I can hear him, he's over here..."

 

Louis veered sharp left and climbed the peak of the rock formation to look down into it's valley.

 

"Hazza!" Louis sucked in a breath as he tumbled down the grey, slippery rock towards where Harry was laid.

 

He was tugged back by Niall who quickly assessed the scene. Harry's climbing trousers were ripped at one knee, blood trickling through the hole but drying in the air, thick and dark red. He was laying awkwardly on his back, one leg bent at the bad knee and submerged beneath the rocks in a small gap that was between them. Niall knew instantly what pockets of sand meant in wet surrounds like this.

 

"That's quicksand, Lou. Stick to the rocks," he directed.

 

Louis nodded, his eyes flicking over Harry's body, checking for injuries.

 

"He's bleeding," he appealed to Niall with a grimace.

 

"You talk to him and get him comfortable while I get his leg free..." Niall suggested.

 

Louis rounded the jagged stones and crouched, his hand reaching forward instinctively to thumb gently at Harry's jaw.

 

"Hey, beautiful...you okay?"

 

Harry's eyes- which had been staring upwards unblinking, slowly closed and re-opened, switching focus onto Louis beside him.

 

"Not so much," Harry conceded with a gravelled voice.

 

Louis scrabbled to sit behind him, v'ing his legs and gently shuffling up until Harry's torso was supported on his thighs, his head cradled against his groin.

 

Louis gently cupped the side of his head, brushing a thumb tenderly over his forehead onto his temple.

 

"We'll get you out, Baby Bear, don't worry," Louis soothed.

 

Harry winced as Niall tugged gently just below his knee, tying up a bandage to stop the blood flow from his knee.

 

"Sorry, Haz," his friend apologised quickly. "Jeff, get over here!" Niall yelled back to the other man.

 

Jeff ran over and hunkered down, his gentle hand curving around Harry's knee.

 

"Don't pull it," He told Niall. "Harry, you need to relax," he flicked his gaze up, giving first Harry, then Louis a serious look. "Try and move your foot up an inch at a time. If you stay on your back, you'll float eventually," he explained.

 

"I can't there's rocks," Harry frowned.

 

"Move your foot as far up to the surface as you can and we'll slide you out, okay?"

 

Harry nodded but he began to quiver, exhausted from his efforts so far and the throbbing pain in his knee had an added extra stinging now that pressure was on the wound.

 

"Lou, I can't move it...I can't float," Harry grumbled lowly, trying to turn onto his side to curl into Louis' warm thigh.

 

It reminded him of how they'd share the sofa, Louis watching the footie while Harry read a book and when he got tired he'd curl over and Louis would put the blanket over him and tangle fingers in his hair.

 

Harry missed it, missed feeling loved. He missed Louis sleeping on top of his back like he had after they'd fucked. He missed kissing him and being wooed.

 

"Just breathe slow, babe, okay?" Louis instructed. "Close your eyes, pretend like I'm teaching you to swim. You've got a toe on the swimming pool bottom because you don't trust me to hold you while you float..."

 

Harry snorted softly at the image, his lips tucking in a small smile.

 

"Hmm," he hummed happily, settling his shoulders back against Louis' thighs.

 

"That's right...and I've got my arms around you," Louis narrated while sliding his hands down Harry's shoulders, linking his fingers against his chest. "So you can't float off but you need to get your toe off the ground, sweetheart..."

 

Harry concentrated behind closed lids, slowly working his lower leg upwards.

 

Louis flicked Niall a look and he nodded, Jeff giving him the thumbs up.

 

"When you let go I can swim on my back and you'll be on top of me with no danger of drowning, Baby Bear. I've got you, okay? I've always got you..."

 

"My toe's not touching the floor anymore," Harry mumbled tiredly.

 

"I know," Louis soothed warmly. "Want me to swim backwards a bit?"

 

Harry nodded, his beanie brushing the warm nest of Louis' groin.

 

"Okay," Louis shuffled back a bit, checking to Jeff each time to make sure he was doing it right. Jeff nodded and Louis let out a relieved breath. "You dragging that foot again, Bear?" Louis asked Harry.

 

Harry shook his head, lifting his foot higher to evidence that fact.

 

"Gonna make a ballerina of you yet," Louis mused.

 

Harry dimpled, some colour rushing to his cheeks. Louis couldn't help his own warm smile, pressing the back of his hand to Harry's warm cheek gently.

 

"So beautiful, hm?" He shuffled back again, bringing Harry with him.

 

"Tell me a story?" Harry asked, still working his toes up towards the rock.

 

"A story?" Louis repeated, surprised. Harry nodded again and Louis rolled his eyes upwards to create a worthy spiel.

 

"Okay how about the time the Prince invited the beautiful Princess to his castle and cooked her dinner and they had the most amazing night, like the best night the Prince has ever had, probably. Only he wakes in the morning not to find the Princess in his arms as expected, but she's nowhere to be found and she won't speak to the Prince to tell him what he did wrong...like was he a dick that night? Did he say something to upset her? Maybe he's just really shit in bed and-"

 

"Louis," Harry breathed out, soft and pleading.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"Yeah, sorry. Completely bad timing," his lip quirked ruefully.

 

Harry swallowed and Louis shuffled them back a bit. He felt like he was pointing his toe now, like the ballerina Louis had teased him about becoming.

 

Louis brushed the backs of his fingers gently down Harry's cheek while he waited for him to speak. He wasn't sure what he was expecting but it certainly wasn't:

 

"You're not shit in bed."

 

He huffed out a breath, a helpless smile curving onto his lips.

 

"Well that's one good bit of news, I guess," he conceded.

 

Harry turned his face so that his cheek brushed against Louis' thigh. Louis couldn't help the way his fingers threaded into Harry's sunshine curls under his knitted hat.

 

"Everything okay?" Louis asked.

 

Harry shook his head against the inside of Louis' leg.

 

"Falling," he mumbled.

 

Louis pressed his free hand gently into Harry's chest.

 

"No you're not, I've got you," he promised.

 

But Harry wasn't talking about the tumble he'd taken on the rocks, he wasn't even thinking about the pain of that fall or the fear of laying in the cold as it got dark, although it did remind him just how fragile life was and how he was so close to running away from the very thing that scared him the most at the same time it made him feel completely and thrillingly alive. _His feelings for Louis._

 

" _Falling again_ ," Harry swallowed, hoping to convey his true thoughts.

 

Louis blinked three times with an open mouth.

 

"W-what? What, Harry?" He begged for repetition but Jeff's signal to move back some more interrupted the moment. Louis gritted his teeth.

 

Harry's tongue poked out to lick at his lips, his leg almost straight now so Louis shuffled back a bit more, finding Harry moving with him quite easily now.

 

"Babe, you did it," he commended. "We can float."

 

"Rather jus' sleep," Harry slurred.

 

"'Fraid not, sweetheart. You have to get up so we can get you in the boat..."

 

Harry groaned and reached for Louis to beg him not to make him move, but Louis was already scrabbling up, grasping Harry's hands to tug him into a sitting position.

 

"Is my knee mangled?" Harry asked, bending his good one first which was stiff with the cold. He was kind of hoping to distract Louis from the moment of vulnerability he'd just displayed; by drawing attention to his physical injuries.

 

"No, it's just maimed," Louis teased, ducking under Harry's arm in a crouch to support him in his upwards motion.

 

Niall came the other side and between them they got him upright. Louis' bad shoulder protested somewhat against the motion but he ignored it with an annoyed hiss.

 

Harry blinked at the rocks around them, a confused frown on his face.

 

"Are the birds okay?" He asked.

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"They're fine, I promise," he sighed, starting the walk towards the boat with Harry limping slowly between himself and Niall.

 

"Where are they?" Harry squinted suspiciously around.

 

"They're in the boat already, remember?" Niall inserted gently, throwing Jeff an amused look.

 

"Hm," Harry just agreed for the sake of it, not believing them until he saw the cage in the hull of his boat. "Oh. They're okay," he stated.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"Pinky, Perky and Dolly are all safe and well..."

 

Harry spat out some giggles, sliding a look to Louis.

 

"You're ridiculous."

 

"I'm not the one climbing rocks for pigeons," Louis pointed out.

 

" _Plovers_ ," Harry corrected with a cute frown. "They're Plovers, not pigeons."

 

Louis stiffened the arm he had around Harry's waist as Niall rolled out a blanket for Harry to lay on in the other boat.

 

"I know," he murmured lowly, feeling the weight of Harry's head press against his shoulder, shaping into his neck.

 

Louis tucked his hand into Harry's side a bit more, turning his lips to press them against the wool of Harry's beanie.

 

"Just getting your bed ready, Princess," Louis teased.

 

Harry hummed.

 

"No peas, please," he murmured back.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"No peas," he promised.

 


	11. Chapter 11

_He tasted like the inside of a seashell. Salty and bitter, metallic almost._

_Louis always found that to be the greatest thing about Harry. He tasted exactly like the thing he loved most in the world- the sea._

_Harry would whimper, quivering uncontrollably as Louis licked at him, making a big deal of it, taking his time._

_Often Harry would fist at the sheets, eventually tugging them away from the mattress. Sometimes he'd kneel up in frustration, getting his cheeks wide apart so that his rim was exposed and those times he'd grunt with need, grasping the headboard._

_Most of the time, Louis could pin him down with his elbows against the backs of his thighs while he opened him out, exploring the wonderful world of Harry's ass. Licking him out was always the best. Always._

_"Louis-can't!" Harry chokes, trying to scrabble up the bed._

_Louis smiles against his ass-cheek._

_"Gonna come, babe? You're not even touching yourself..."_

_"Shut up," Harry growls, rutting against the covers._

_He can't get his hands between his body and the bed because Louis has decided to straddle his back upside down, pinning Harry down. It's a variation to his usual technique and Harry isn't happy. It's too intense, too hot to handle._

_"I've missed kissing you like this," Louis husks._

_And then his tongue is worming inside where its tight and hot and tastes just like the sea on a hot day._

_Harry is reduced to moaning helplessly, hips pulsing down towards the sheets._

_Louis twists and flicks his tongue, hard in, sliding gently out, lapping at Harry's rim kittenishly between thrusts._

_"Fuck! I hate you," Harry mumbles, pressing his forehead to the bed and letting his blonde spirals spill around his face._

_Louis slides his own arousal down Harry's spine, earning a weakened cry from Harry's lips._

_"Hmm," Louis hums against his rim; thumbs pressing into his meaty ass cheeks and massaging gently. "Sweet peach," he murmurs between kisses, sucking a hickey into Harry's ass, right on the cleft so he'll feel it when his cheeks press together._

_That's what sends Harry over the edge, that biting pleasure against his sensitive skin._

_He knows that tomorrow when he's giving a presentation on the effects of oil-leaks in sea waters that every move will result in a memory of this, of Louis kissing him so very intimately. He knows. And he grins slowly because he loves that his blushes will be assumed from his passion for marine-life instead of his passion for this man._

_The one climbing carefully over him to thrust between his ass-cheeks to finish himself off._

_"Lou," Harry whines weakly. "Oh, god..."_

_Louis stutters, his climax surging out onto Harry's back-dimples, some sliding between his ass cheeks as Harry twists in anguish._

_Louis lays gently against his back, huffing out short breaths into his hair. He smells like vanilla lube and black coffee. He's nosing into Harry's hair with a smile as his breathing slows down._

_"Hmm, my sweet, blonde bombshell," he murmurs._

_Harry settles a bit beneath him._

_"My Big Bear," he mumbles back, getting sleepy._

_Louis tucks arms around him and makes to sleep on his back._

_//_

 

Harry needed six stitches for the gash in his knee which was cleaned and bandaged before he was discharged.

 

It was twilight, Niall and Jeff had left hours ago on the promise Louis would make sure Harry got home safely.

 

Louis had ushered a limping Harry into a taxi and given the driver Harry's address.

 

Harry just yawned widely and curved to the right until his head hit Louis' shoulder and he'd softened against him, making quiet noises in his throat.

 

"Don't fall asleep on me, Hazza," Louis murmured. "We both know I can't carry you into your house."

 

Harry smiled, Louis heard the cluck of amusement in Harry's throat.

 

"Just resting a minute," he assured in a low voice, a voice Louis remembered quite well.

 

He remembered it being this way first thing in the morning after he'd kissed Harry slowly awake. He remembered it after Harry had let Louis fuck his mouth, deep-throating him noisily and ruining his vocal chords.

 

He swallowed, hands twitching on his thighs as he tried to curb those thoughts and the urge he had to touch Harry again, just to feel that smooth tan skin and kiss against the warmth of it.

 

Harry must have read something else from Louis' discomfort because he threaded his arm under Louis' and slid his hand underneath his twitchy fingers, letting his long lean ones thread through Louis' small, calloused digits.

 

Louis' breath caught and he watched in third-person perspective as his fingers of their own accord curled to capture Harry's and it felt like he was floating above it all, having an outer-body experience of some kind.

 

Ever since he'd woken up to find Harry gone after their night of intimacy he'd assumed they'd never get this back, that Harry had decided once and for all that Louis wasn't what he wanted-or needed- in his life.

 

And now...now one tiny, tiny gesture seemed to mean so much. It elevated his hopes higher than they'd ever been and he felt breathless with it, with the responsibility of not fucking this up again.

 

He turned his head to press a kiss against Harry's beanie and Harry's breath out told Louis he'd been waiting for acknowledgement to his move.

 

The only trouble was, Louis didn't know what happened now, he didn't know how to make this into what he truly wanted.

 

The taxi pulled up at the house Harry owned and Louis gently propped Harry up in his own seat while he sprung out and ran around the back to help him out.

 

He gave the driver a $20 note and asked him to wait a minute, turning back to help Harry up the path.

 

Harry paused, blinking, favouring his good leg.

 

"Aren't you coming in?" Harry asked.

 

Louis' eyes went wide. He opened his mouth, no air getting in or out of his lungs.

 

"I don't know, H, am I?" He asked back, pressing his lips together with a wry twist.

 

Harry limped up to the driver's window, giving him an extra $5.

 

"Thanks for the ride, you don't need to wait," he instructed softly.

 

The car backed out of the drive and the headlights flashed over Harry's slightly limp form. Louis was prompted into moving, wrapping his arm back around Harry's waist.

 

"What about your shoulder?" Harry worried as he hobbled up the path, struggling on the steps to the porch.

 

Louis bit his lower lip.

 

"I'm ignoring the pain," he admitted.

 

Harry immediately leaned away from him as he advanced through the unlocked door into the hallway and it caused him to over-balance, veering towards the wall.

 

Louis moved swiftly, tightening both arms around Harry and pulling him tight towards his body. He bent his legs to anchor them, feeling Harry tense in his arms.

 

"Can you stop fucking injuring yourself for five minutes?" Louis asked dryly.

 

Harry found his feet and slowly straightened only Louis didn't let go. Harry was half sideways to him, completely surrounded by Louis arms, his own arms tucked tightly in. He had to lick his lips and blink down at the other man, his beanie threatening to come loose on his already wrecked curls.

 

His lips felt dry and cracked from being exposed to the sea air and he nibbled on them a bit.

 

" _You_ can talk," he accused Louis right back.                      

 

Louis rolled his eyes with a sigh.

 

"Yeah, well. Think I have more of a reason don't you?" He loosened his arms only enough for Harry to stretch one across his back for support.

 

Louis got them back in motion but Harry felt his energy fading with each step.

 

"No reason," Harry managed to mumble out. "I'm not mad anymore."

 

Louis nodded his acknowledgement.

 

"Okay, Hazza, I'll just get you comfy in bed, eh?"

 

Harry shook his head.

 

"Why not?" Louis wondered.

 

"Shower," Harry hoarsed. "I'm covered in sea salt."

 

Louis sighed.

 

"You need to sleep, babe. Look at you...you can barely stand up..."

 

Harry fidgeted, shrugging up his shoulders and shaking out his hair.

 

"Feels itchy."

 

Louis swallowed and stared at him patiently.

 

"Think you can manage alone?" He ventured already knowing the answer.

 

Harry didn't bother to reply, turning when they reached his en-suite in the bedroom to tug at the hem of Louis' top.

 

"Come on, Lou. Nothing we haven't both seen before..."

 

"Unless you grew more nipples?" Louis posed with a smirk, shrugging off his jacket with a mild wince when his shoulder twinged.

 

Harry shook his head, his long fingers delicately working to relieve his belt, only he seemed to have lost the ability to do the smallest things. Staying upright was the hardest task in the world right now and for some reason he was glad it was Louis there with him because he knew for a fact Niall would have made him sleep itchy.

 

Louis also, it seemed, was going to help him undress.

 

His blue eyes were dark like the sea at night, his hair gently fluffed up where his t-shirt had caught his fringe. When he took a shaky breath Harry could see he was nervous and his eyes flicked to his bad shoulder, then searched out the sling on the floor.

 

His lips pouted at that, his concerned gaze lifting.

 

Louis' lashes were against his cheeks as he looked downwards, deft fingers releasing Harry's belt and stud, pausing on his zipper.

 

"Did you want to...um...?" He breathed, soft warm air puffing against Harry's t-shirted chest.

 

"You can," he assured lowly, licking his rough lips.

 

Louis' eyes came to his then, holding steady even when his hands didn't feel as sure. Louis' thumbs slid down the sides of his jeans waistband once the zipper was free, his lower lip disappearing between his teeth as he tugged gently down.

 

"This is some kind of freaky de ja vu," Louis tried to joke but it was a breathy whisper.

 

Harry shook his head, curls dragging over his shoulders.

 

"You were never nervous with me," he recalled.

 

Louis arched a brow, letting out a rueful puff of air. It was true, he never had. Because Harry was beautiful and had given Louis his virginity so he'd never felt the need to feel unsure. But _now_...

 

 _Fuck_. Now everything was so different. It was like he had a hundred memories of loving Harry and yet it was like undressing a new man, someone he didn't know well enough to tell if he was good enough yet for them. If his naked body met the mark.

 

He crouched to tug off the trousers, cupping a hand behind Harry's bad knee.

 

"How do I keep it dry?" He asked.

 

Harry reached into the bathroom cupboard to pull out a plastic shopping bag, handing it to Louis who smirked. He went about cutting it and tying it around the injury site, rising to undress Harry's top half and leaving both of their boxers until last.

 

"Okay," he told himself softly, grasping the hem of Harry's t-shirt and pausing for him to lift his arms which he did with a twisting motion to help Louis drag the damn thing off, his slim lean torso bared. His chest bared. His tattooed chest bared, his tattooed torso bared.

 

 _Bare_.

 

Jesus.

 

Louis squeezed his eyes shut and ignored the responding ache in his groin. There was no way they were going _there_ tonight. He quickly gathered their clothes and lobbed them in the laundry basket, promising Harry he'd wash them all tomorrow as though this wasn't actually Harry's house and his responsibility to do the laundry.

 

"Let's um," Louis pointed at the shower.

 

Harry cleared his throat. Louis blushed.

 

"My boxers, Lou," is all he said.

 

Louis nodded with a tight press of his lips, deciding fast and functional was the only option here and he whipped Harry's shorts down followed by his own, gently pushing him towards the shower.

 

Harry arranged the settings with a bemused smile, glancing at Louis with an arched brow once the warm water rained down on them.

 

"You're acting like a kid who's never seen a dick before," Harry mused.

 

Louis stared at the spot between Harry's pecs, a spot he'd quite like to kiss actually but that was besides the point here.

 

"Hey," Harry's voice nudged him into the moment, a gentle hand curling, the knuckles of which tucked under his chin and brought his face up, into the waterfall. "Don't be afraid, Lou," he said.

 

Louis blinked, lips twisting. He didn't deserve any of this and actually, he was meant to be the protector here, not Harry.

 

"The only thing I'm afraid of is losing you," he admitted, eyelashes flicking a bit to hood his eyes. "I've already done it once and I don't think I can do it again..."

 

Harry's breathing changed but he didn't speak. The next thing Louis knew, his small body was being curled into loving arms, tender kisses placed against his temple.

 

"I'm so sorry," Harry apologised and it sounded so genuine, Louis couldn't help the way his chest jumped a bit at the words.

 

"Fuck, what for?" He beseeched. "You haven't done anything wrong."

 

"I let you believe that I didn't love you anymore," Harry replied gently as he pulled away, his hand splaying over Louis' jaw, his thumb digging into the delicate hollow of his cheek as his lips opened in shock.

 

He couldn't meet Harry's gaze right now it was like somebody had stolen all the air in the room and it was impossible to breathe.

 

"I don't even think _I_ loved me anymore after what happened," Louis whispered huskily. "I didn't expect anyone else to."

 

"And now?" Harry asked, swallowing and nudging Louis' face up a bit.

 

Louis sighed, fixing his eyes on Harry's lips. Big mistake _but_ \--he was trying to avoid looking into his betrayed eyes.

 

"I'm getting there," he allowed of his current state of mind.

 

Harry leaned in, curling him close again, lips brushing his ear.

 

"I still love you," he whispered.

 

Louis couldn't help the tears that instantly worked their way behind his eyes, shaking his head to deny the words, the truth behind them.

 

"No! You c-can't!" He hiccuped as his sobs hardened.

 

"I heard you say it," Harry hummed, holding him tightly as Louis tried to break free. "I've wanted to say it back for so long."

 

Louis was still shaking his head and actually, just shaking, trying to remember who was saving who here. He wiped his hand under his eyes, sniffing up the last of his tears as he stepped back, turning off the faucet.

 

"You need to get some sleep," he told Harry softly, turning to push open the shower door and fetch their towels.

 

Harry's gaze slid to Louis' bare back, drifting over his shoulders, sliding into his slim waist and lower, over his bare behind and onto his thighs and finally down to his delicate almost feminine ankles.

 

The sight of Louis still made his heart buzz, still made his skin tingle and his insides swirl and ache. He'd meant those words, had felt a dying urge to say them since he'd fallen on that rock and now that he had, he felt afraid.

 

Louis wouldn't meet his gaze, leading him out of the shower and gently drying him off, wrapping him in a warmed robe that he'd laid on the heated towel rail for a few minutes.

 

"Let's get you into something warm," Louis suggested as Harry yawned, shuddering a bit on the tail end of it.

 

Harry only hummed his agreement, letting Louis lead him to his bedroom where he took off the plastic covering for his dressing over his knee and then helped Harry pull on some black velour pyjamas he had that Louis _really_ didn't want to ask questions about.

 

Harry was finally horizontal, rubbing his face into a pillow and yawning cutely. Louis gently stroked back some of his hair- _which he'd dried with the dryer_ \- and turned to go, but something slipped around his wrist, warm and secure.

 

"Get in, Lou," Harry grumbled.

 

Louis went to find some sweatpants and rolled in behind Harry, securing the duvet around him.

 

"You warm?" Louis checked.

 

Harry nodded and slowly drifted off while Louis laid awake and wondered how long his heaven would last.

 

//

 

Everything felt sore and stiff when Harry woke the next morning.

 

He kicked his legs about in bed testing his ability to move and when he realised Louis was no longer in bed with him he slowly rolled into a sitting position.

 

He dragged a hand through his fluffy hair and blinked sleepily with a yawn. He could smell some kind of cooking and delicately sniffed the air, his nostrils flaring.

 

More _over_ -cooking he amended with a mild frown, pushing to his feet.

 

He swayed a bit before he began a slow limp down the stairs towards the kitchen.

 

//

 

Louis had the French doors open and was wafting clouds of dark smoke out onto the patio, the remains of whatever he had charred laying in the pan on the worktop by the open window.

 

Harry couldn't help the smile that came to his lips, the all out dimpled grin that spread like a rash across his face.

 

Louis still hadn't learned to cook, then.

 

But he had learned to _try_. That was something.

 

Harry was about to stroll in and make a teasing remark about Louis' breakfast failure but something in Louis' body language stopped him and he sunk back behind the doorframe to watch him for a moment longer.

 

Louis clasped desperate hands in his hair and made a frustrated noise, spinning in the kitchen and finally sitting cross-legged with his back to the kitchen cupboard.

 

Harry frowned at that, at how Louis would have laughed this off before, how he would have tried to force-feed the burnt breakfast to Harry while he giggled until he couldn't breathe and they'd chase each other around the kitchen until Harry offered to re-make them something edible.

 

Louis wasn't that self-assured, almost cocky-confident person anymore and he'd admitted to Harry that he was struggling to love himself. But Harry still loved him, even with the changes. It just made Louis all the more attractive somehow knowing he _needed_ Harry in his life. Harry missed the sparkle that Louis once possessed though and he wondered if he'd ever get it back.

 

"So you're either burning down my apartment for some unknown revenge or you tried to cook breakfast," Harry guessed as he limped in.

 

"Hey," Louis shot up off the floor and helped Harry to a seat at the table.

 

Harry rolled his eyes.

 

"I'm quite capable of walking," he rumbled.

 

Louis stood back with a sigh.

 

"Yeah...course..."

 

Harry blinked and shook his head, reaching for Louis and just about getting his fingers on him before he slipped away. He drew him in by the waist slowly, like a spider eating it's prey.

 

"Thank you," Harry looked up at him as he opened his knees to curl Louis closer.

 

Louis shuffled into the gap, arms folded up by his chest. It took a full minute of smiling at him softly before he let one hand brace Harry's face.

 

"I burnt the pancakes I was trying to make," he admitted then awkwardly.

 

Harry opened his mouth and laughed deeply, releasing Louis to stand again. Once he reached the counter he binned the mess in the pan- black on one side, raw on the other - and swirled the remainder of the batter Louis had made around the bowl.

 

"Deep fried bananas?" Harry suggested.

 

Louis nodded and reached for the fruit bowl.

 

//

 

Harry's mother decided to come back to visit him when he and Louis were sprawled on the sofa, Louis between Harry's' knees supporting his bad one in his lap while he caught up on sports.

 

Harry lazily got up at the doorbell ringing, assuming Niall had come by or maybe even Liam in search of Louis.

 

His face fell as his mom's face came into view.

 

"Mom." He said, biting his lip.

 

"Yes, I'm still in town," she arched a brow, going to step forwards.

 

"Uh," Harry stalled. "I um...I have company," he said.

 

Anne sighed.

 

"And they can't meet your mother?" She huffed, stepping forward anyway so that Harry had to step back, more a stumble thanks to his bad knee.

 

"What have you done now?" She chided, passing by him to enter the living room and he could only follow with an aggrieved expression on his face, a hand going through his hair as he watched his mother's gaze scatter over the sofa where a petite man was curled, waiting for Harry's return.

 

"Who is it, Haz?" Louis asked distractedly, busy typing a text message out. "Is It Ni-" He petered off as he turned to look, the words dying on his tongue. "Oh."

 

Anne stared at him coolly, then flashed a reproachful look at Harry.

 

"Yes, _oh_ ," she mused. "When I saw you'd come back to haunt Harry I can't say I expected to find you in his house," she arched. "I thought he'd have better sense, to be honest..."

 

Louis stood up and swallowed, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. Suddenly he looked pale and a sweat had worked onto his pallid skin.

 

"Lou, are you alright?" Harry brushed past his mother to check, finding Louis dodging him and hastening for the stairs.

 

"I'm fine, I'll just-"

 

There were thundering footsteps and the sound of a door slamming and although Harry had good solid walls, the faint sound of retching was unmistakeable.

 

His stomach dived low in his gut, his head felt dizzy.

 

Louis couldn't be- _god, no_. Why would he? Is that what he'd hinted at all those weeks ago? Harry folded his arms and then unfolded them and then squeezed his bicep with one big hand as everything hurt on his inside.

 

"Can you hear that, mom?" He asked, curled lashes wet as they lifted from his cheeks, his lips quivering. His jaw ached from wanting to cry. "Can you hear him being sick?"

 

Anne lowered her face guiltily and nodded.

 

"You better go and check he's alright..."

 

Harry stared at her.

 

"You can't make him feel bad," he stated. "I know you don't agree with my decisions but I won't have you making him feel bad, okay?"

 

Anne looked at him quite shocked.

 

"Alright," she nodded. "I'll come back later," she added as she turned for the door, pausing before she went out. "And Harry?"

 

"Hm?"

 

"Don't let him fool you, baby," she said and then slipped out the door.

 

//

 

Harry found Louis laying on his side on the bed, empty blue eyes staring out at the green surroundings.

 

"Are we going back to bed?" He asked.

 

Louis barely smiled, it was thin and fake.

 

"I heard what she said," Louis offered.

 

Harry swallowed, pushing off the door jamb and hovering by the window, his back to the man laying on the bed.

 

"Yeah well...she's always been over-protective," he reminded.

 

Louis hummed.

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Remember that time you brought me home after the first night we stayed over together at yours? And I was living back at home because my bathroom had to be redone?"

 

Louis made a spluttering sound.

 

"Fuck, she _knew_ ," he agreed. "She knew exactly what we'd been up to and I felt fifteen all over again."

 

Harry smiled.

 

"So did I. But for other reasons," he added softly.

 

He turned to look at Louis to convey his message. He didn't know if he should broach the sickness or not.

 

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"Because I was thinking, there's this little diner on Oyster Creek that make the best burgers and I know you like to try one in every place you visit..."

 

Louis did smile then, faintly.

 

"Still had my best one with you," he said.

 

"The Laurel Tavern," Harry remembered easily. "Think we might have even fed each other," he squinted in memory.

 

Louis chucked out a laugh and rolled onto his back.

 

"Will your knee survive it?" He asked, lifting his head from the bed.

 

Harry grinned.

 

//

 

"You know," Harry began slowly, dipping his long-handled spoon into his sundae glass and retrieving ice-cream and chocolate brownie.

 

"Hmm?" Louis chomped a large bit out of a slice of lemon cake he'd ordered.

 

"My new tattoo...it's to do with you," he mused.

 

Louis chewed, bringing his chin up.

 

"You've only got the one new one haven't you?"

 

Harry nodded, scraping the spoon around the inside of the glass to capture the cream sticking there, sucking his lower lip into his mouth to regain sensation after freezing it eating ice-cream.

 

"The leaves."

 

Louis cleared his throat and shifted a bit.

 

"What do they mean?"

 

Harry looked at him and his eyes were full of galaxies that glowed. Louis was mesmerised.

 

"The leaves are laurels...for the Laurel Tavern because you made me feel incredible that night and I didn't ever want to lose that feeling no matter what. Even if I never felt it again."

 

Louis blinked, reaching out with his cake-free hand to circle it around Harry's wrist, his hand busy clutching his spoon. Louis felt melted ice-cream drip on his hand and ignored it.

 

"The butterfly is you," he described softly of the tattoo Louis already knew about. "Fluttering away, always so bright and beautiful...and so fragile," he added with a frown.

 

Louis drew in a breath.

 

"You're right."

 

Harry looked at Louis' hand touching his and dropped his spoon, clasping untidy fingers around Louis' suddenly. When he looked back up Louis wished he had an internal camera so he could take a picture and never forget this moment.

 

"Why didn't you tell me that you were being sick?"

 

Louis pressed his lips together and flicked his eyes away, knocking his body back in the chair with a sigh.

 

"I tried to," Louis admitted.

 

Harry nodded. That was true, he had.

 

"I'm scared of saying the wrong thing here," Harry begged, his face creased with anxiety. "But I just want to hold you...I've wanted to hold you since that night you showed up as my blind date..."

 

Louis chucked out a breath of semi-amusement.

 

"God, I'm so sorry about that, I should have thought about it harder then I might have realised that it was _you_ Niall was talking about..."

 

Harry offered a lop-sided smile, one dimple pooling in his cheek.

 

"Did you hear what I said?" He asked lowly.

 

Louis' cheeks burned as he studied the table-cloth closely, fidgeting with the items surrounding his hands- his napkin, the plate his half-eaten cake was sat on, his beer glass.

 

"Kind of pretended not to," he mumbled.

 

Harry leaned forward, his turn to wrap long fingers around Louis' wrist, his thumb brushing his forearm gently.

 

"Why?"

 

"You walked out," Louis' eyes lifted as he said the words quite strongly considering his awkwardness. "And I think I told you how I can't go through it all again."

 

"I want to hold you, Louis," Harry repeated with a swallow. "Tonight, tomorrow night, probably for a few nights after that and-"

 

Louis shot up from his seat, twisting to sever Harry's hold on him and Harry watched wide-eyed as Louis hastened towards the men's room.

 

"Louis!" He called, throwing down his credit card as security for the meal and then rushing after the other man.

 

He huddled up behind him and wrapped both arms around his entire body, trapping his arms next to his sides.

 

"We're not going to run away from this," Harry rumbled in his ear.

 

Louis heaved in breaths and felt dizzy, his stomach lurching uneasily.

 

"Harry, let me go...please!" Louis begged. "I'm going to be sick..."

 

Harry bent his head forward and placed a warm kiss against the cold skin at the back of Louis' neck.

 

"Just wait a minute," he soothed. "Just give it a minute to settle."

 

Louis wrestled but Harry had him caught tight. Louis sighed, retching twice and swallowing hard, taking deep breaths in and out to calm himself down.

 

"I'm going to puke on your fancy shoes," he warned, trying to bargain his freedom.

 

"I don't care," Harry murmured, brushing his lips behind Louis' ear. "Don't you get it? I don't care about anything but you..."

 

"I'm not worth it, Haz," Louis argued. "Even your mom said so."

 

"But you like me, right?" Harry asked. "You still feel like-"

 

"I still do," Louis promised quietly.

 

"Then let me hold you," Harry asked, glancing over his shoulder as another patron came in to use the stall. He smiled at him quickly.

 

Louis sighed.

 

"Fucking hell, Harry."

 

Harry smiled, pressing his lips against Louis' goose-pimpled skin once more.

 

"Let's go home?" He suggested.

 

Louis nodded and Harry finally released him.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just say, short-haired Harry is going to make an appearance in my future fics and I am working on a couple of sequels/continuations right now which some of you may like! I also have a super-short Halloween one shot to post :)
> 
> Ang

Kissing Louis had always been his sweetest pleasure.

 

No matter what else went on, at the end of a bad day or worse, Harry had his memories of the way they kissed and he knew it could never be matched. It was half the reason why he'd never looked for anyone else.

 

_Along with still being completely in love with Louis in the time they were apart._

 

But-

 

That was almost inconsequential.

 

Almost.

 

Louis was so small in his arms, felt so warm and hard as Harry folded him in, having tugged off his t-shirt and wrecked his hair. Now he wanted him close, wanted to slant their mouths together and lick behind Louis' teeth.

 

So he did. Harry did everything he wanted to do.

 

"Mmm," He hummed, walking Louis backwards towards his King-sized bed, trying not to stumble and failing as his feet became uncoordinated when Louis kissed him back hotly, making soft, low noises in his throat.

 

Harry stopped, pressing big hands into the small of Louis' back and very slowly, very deliberately grinded against him. He was hard already, face flushed and curls dirty with want. He held Louis' gaze as he circled his hips again, expressing his desire.

 

Louis grasped the back of his neck and tugged him down while getting onto the fronts of his feet, his kiss bitingly hard. It moved to Harry's jaw, sucking down his throat and leaving red welts in the place his mouth had been. It made Harry's knees go week and he almost keeled over with Louis in his arms.

 

"Fuck-bed..." Harry grunted.

 

They fell on it together, messy and aroused, a part-pained, part-pleasured groan falling from each of their lips.

 

Louis scrabbled backwards to make more room and Harry stalked him like prey, crawling on hands and knees. He didn't speak, his green eyes dark with lust as his hands went for Louis' jeans-fastening. He paused a moment, stalling on his knees, letting his eyes glide over the body of his lover, a man he'd never forgotten about.

 

He was still so small and beautiful, still edged with hard and softened with curves. He was still fluffy and angled, but thinner now, not as muscled as when he was comp-ready.

 

Harry's eyes scattered down his chest, drawing over his navel with a lick of his lips which were hot and throbbing. He smirked as his eyes traced the contour of Louis' hard need, pressing against the denim of his jeans insistently.

 

Their eyes met, both a bit breathless and flushed and Harry turned his hand brushing the back of it over the ridge.

 

"That for me?" He arched a brow, his voice carefully low and husked.

 

Louis gulped, his dick surged. He nodded, unable to find words.

 

Harry bit into his lip, brushing the backs of his fingers upwards over the heat, a darkness in his eyes that Louis had missed.

 

"Want you so much, Lou," Harry finally promised, letting his hands work on the fastening keeping Louis restrained and Harry grinned at the way Louis flopped back, arching his hips and going plaint in the same moment.

 

"You can have me," Louis offered. "Once I'm allowed to get my hands on you," he added teasingly of Harry's ownership so far.

 

"Shh," Harry curved a caring hand around Louis' cheek. "I'm doing fine, babe..."

 

Louis choked out a groan as Harry shifted to back up off the bed, whipping his jeans away, showcasing his own impressive hard-on. Harry went about removing his own t-shirt, his long fingers resting on his jeans belt buckle.

 

"Take your boxers off for me?" He asked.

 

Louis didn't need asking twice, but he did take his time about it, revealing first one hip, then the other, his tanned skin still showing white marks where his ass hadn't seen the sun.

 

Harry dimpled at that, licked his lips as Louis revealed the true extent of his attraction.

 

There was something very charged about the moment, something almost dark that made Louis feel vulnerable. Harry slowly unbelted his jeans and bent to push them down to the floor, kicking them off almost lazily.

 

Louis' hand hovered, curling around his heat but not stroking while he waited, breath trapped in lungs.

 

Harry was stood, thumbs under his own boxers band and Louis began to quiver, wondering _what if?_

 

What if Harry was leading him on, setting him up to humiliate him?

 

What if Harry fucked him now, hard and angry to get payback for all the pain Louis had put him through?

 

What if their night of passion just mere days ago was a one-off replica of the old days and that none of that passion still stood true?

 

What if Harry plain didn't want him? Didn't want his skinny, emaciated form, his bad shoulder and his haggard looks?

 

"H-Harry?" He stammered, swallowing hard.

 

Harry blinked, lowering his underwear. He was thick and strong and curved upwards gallantly, just like Louis remembered from every time before. He just hoped it was for real.

 

Harry loped towards him, long, lean and majestic, big hand flipping his hair away before he crawled back over Louis, staring down at him.

 

Louis looked up, eyes wide.

 

"Do you want this, Haz? Is this what you want?" He asked.

 

Harry nodded, lowering himself to settle on top of Louis, his knee nudging Louis' out to make room between his thighs. Louis chucked out an amused breath and widened his thighs while Harry burrowed into the space and into his throat.

 

"Promise me," Harry whispered against his skin, kissing into the hollow at the base of his throat reverently.

 

Louis' breath caught. He knew exactly what Harry wanted him to promise.

 

"I promise."

 

"Do you mean it this time?" He asked, lifting his head and sliding up, nudging his hips so that their dicks rubbed together. Louis whined, eyes fluttering closed.

 

"I always meant it," he tangled fingers into Harry's hair, opening his eyes to consolidate his promise. "I missed you so much."

 

Harry nodded, taking a slow, sweet kiss from Louis' lips.

 

"I promise too," he murmured and Louis curled both arms around him and squeezed hard.

 

"I love you, Baby Bear..."

 

Harry didn't say the words back but Louis didn't care because he was reaching for lube and shuffling up Louis' body languidly to hand him the bottle and Louis had about a hundred ideas as to what to do with _that_ so...

 

"What do you want, H?" Louis asked, uncapping the bottle and laying it to one side.

 

He took advantage of the free moment to run his hands up Harry's torso, thumbs spreading out over his ferns- _leaves Harry had tattooed for Louis_ \- over the butterfly,- _also for Louis_ -  and swiping gently over his peaked nipples, earning a surprised whimper from Harry's lips.

 

Louis smirked, flicking his eyes to Harry's already straining manhood.

 

"I'm not gonna last if you carry on like that," he warned darkly, voice rich and warm as his lips twisted to the side in a half-smirk.

 

Louis licked his lips.

 

"Wanna come on me first? So we can take it slow?"

 

Harry nearly growled, dark eyes pinning Louis to the bed.

 

"I'm coming with you inside me, Louis," he stated very seriously.

 

Louis' lashes fluttered and his tummy muscles tightened at the thought of Harry orgasming around him  and he missed Harry picking up the lube until he pressed it back into Louis' hand.

 

"Now get on with it," Harry mumbled.

 

Somehow Louis found the semblance to co-ordinate his hands, fingering Harry open slowly with long, easy strokes and a smug warmth in his chest as he watched Harry choke out cries of pleasure followed by soft whines and pants.

 

Harry fell onto his chest giving Louis the perfect access to stroke deep inside, gently scissoring his fingers apart as he softly kissed into Harry's hair.

 

"Lou," Harry finally ground out, sitting up and staring down at him with swollen lips and dark eyes.

 

"What do you want?" Louis asked, cupping his cheek.

 

"To ride you," Harry stated, slowly easing backwards until he straddled Louis' thighs.

 

Louis frowned, reaching for him but Harry ducked low and grasped Louis' base, mouth sheathing him in one deep, quick strike.

 

Louis' hips left the bed and flicked up, pushing him into Harry's mouth as he cried out a soft, surprised 'fuck!'.

 

Harry just as quickly shuffled back up Louis' body, resting with Louis' heat against his crack, smirking down at him a  bit.

 

"Gonna make me blow, then, Lou?" He invited huskily.

 

Louis fidgeted his hips, sliding his feet up the bed until they were flat, his hands reaching to gently thumb Harry's nipples.

 

"Kiss me quick?" Louis asked, that new-found uncertainty filling him with nervous butterflies at a moment he hardly expected it.

 

Harry leaned forward to kiss him, soft lips searching for an answer. Louis didn't know the question, could only kiss back, could only let the sensations of soft and sweet envelope him, crashing down over his skin in sparkling waves.

 

Harry reached back with the hand that wasn't cupping Louis' neck, guiding Louis' tip towards his hole. He pressed his hips back to intimate the action and Louis needed to feel Harry around him before he completely lost himself to the stars.

 

Harry leaned back, lifting himself to settle Louis' thick tip at his rim. His eyes were still dilated, his cheeks still flushed. His hair looked like blonde candyfloss, wrecked by their loving and Louis could only guess his was the same.

 

And when they'd made love a few nights ago it had been incredible, but Louis felt like right now was their first time all over again, in multicolour with surround sound. He'd taken things unbearably slowly with Harry on their first night and now Harry didn't need the same patience and care that he had as a virgin but Louis wanted to give it anyway, gently nudging his hips up as Harry lowered himself down.

 

It was tight, slick and hot. Harry squeezed around him, an intense sensation that almost made Louis trip over the edge of his high but he squeezed his eyes shut and grounded himself curving gentle hands around Harry's hips.

 

"Easy, sweetheart," he begged quietly as Harry settled back, taking him fully.

 

He opened his eyes.

 

"How does it feel?" He asked.

 

Harry grumbled out a noise, something between pleasure and an answer to his question.

 

He sucked in a breath, re-settled himself and huffed out, swallowing twice as his lashes fluttered against his cheeks.

 

"So good," he managed to whisper, tight and drained, circling his hips to get used to Louis' thickness. "Feel...so good."

 

Louis ran his thumbs over his leaves once more.

 

"So pretty, H. Got them for me?"

 

Harry nodded, throwing his head back, still stretching around Louis' size with a slow, gratuitous smile and a throaty hum, visible as his Adam's apple bobbed. His hips rocked this time, he gasped a bit and clutched at Louis' chest.

 

"Yeah, that's it, sweetheart," Louis encouraged, wiping the sweat off his face. "Nice and slow, hm?"

 

Harry made a pained noise as he smiled grimly, working his hips again, getting a slow rhythm to it. Once Louis had deciphered his pattern he worked with him, pushing gently up as Harry ground down. Harry's fingers clutched at his chest weakly, Louis' cries echoing in the room.

 

Louis didn't feel his torso was a worthy place for Harry's hands to be but Harry was grasping at his skin as he worked back onto him so he didn't have the heart to ruin his moment by expressing his anxieties.

 

Harry straightened, taking his hands off Louis' chest and flexing them around his thighs behind him, arching with a feral moan as Louis went deeper inside.

 

Louis choked out a disbelieved noise, his hips twitching and his orgasm shocked out of him from the tight thick way he filled Harry at the new angle. Harry groaned and Louis' seed filled him but he wasn't done yet, flicking his hips back and forth while his blood-heavy dick bounced in front of him.

 

Louis reached to get a hand around him but Harry knocked it away and shook his head, arching his back and letting out an ecstatic chuckle as he finally came, shooting hard over his own abs, some of the thick stickiness landing on Louis' chest.

 

"Oh, oh god...Oh, Lou..." Harry panted, slowing to a halt, biting his lower lip.

 

Louis slowly curled up, legs lowering as he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, kissing against his sternum and tenderly across his collarbones.

 

"Your knee must hurt," he murmured, cupping a protective hand over the damaged joint.

 

Harry nodded, looking down, taking a kiss from Louis' mouth. Louis kissed him back lovingly, bracing his cheek and brushing their lips together softly, sucking on the swollen flesh of Harry's red lips.

 

He let Harry shift from his lap, helping him to gently lay beside him, ignoring the mixture of their semen stickying their bodies. He was too busy checking on Harry's still-healing knee. His knee looked a bit sore, but nothing more. He tightened his arms around Harry and nuzzled his nose.

 

"You're the only one for me, Harry," he murmured, kissing his cheek as Harry ducked shyly into the pillow, a contrast to his earlier sexually confident self. "And I know I'm not nearly good enough for you but-"

 

"I love you, Louis," Harry hastened to speak over him, lifting his sleepy eyes to blink at him, leaning up to press a kiss to Louis' mouth. "I love you as you are."

 

Louis sighed.

 

"I'm a bit broken right now." He admitted.

 

"I know," Harry hummed, his arms going around Louis to carefully hug him back. Louis felt a kiss press against his hair. "I know and I'm going to help you get fixed."

 

Louis smirked. Harry knew better than to promise to be the person that fixed Louis because he knew Louis wouldn't have accepted that- he wouldn't have wanted it. He needed to fight his demons by himself but having Harry by his side made his defence that much stronger.

 

"I don't deserve you, but thank you," Louis sighed, feeling Harry tuck himself back under his chin, curled around him warm and sweet.

 

"Hm," Harry snuffled a bit, settling into sleep.

 

Louis could only watch him with a soft smile plastering his face, crinkling beside his eyes.

 

//

 

"Hey, I was thinking..."

 

Harry was wearing a tropical shirt and board shorts, barefoot in the kitchen while he made breakfast.

 

Fresh croissants and fruit were on the menu and Louis had already hustled him against the counter and the fridge in a distracted need to kiss the life out of his blonde bombshell.

 

"Hm?" Louis looked up from the sports section of the paper Harry apparently had delivered.

 

"That idea your friend had...about starting a surfing school," he posed. "I think that's something we should talk about."

 

Louis folded the paper and slid it to one side, patting the seat next to him when Harry came over with a baking tray in a mittened hand and a bowl of fruit in another.

 

Harry grinned at him and took the seat, turning towards him to brush their knees together.

 

Louis reached for a croissant.

 

"Is there anything like that here already?" Louis asked.

 

"There's a few but none of them are ex-champs," Harry smiled smugly.

 

Louis paused for a moment, nibbling his bottom lip.

 

"Are you sure that's something you'd be okay with? It won't bring back bad memories?"

 

Harry twisted to kiss Louis' bad shoulder.

 

"That's the only thing that gives me bad memories," he assured. "I'd love to see you back in your wetsuit, personally..."

 

Louis smiled, surprised at Harry's flirting.

 

"Oh really? Missed my ass in those rubbers, huh?"

 

Harry nodded, dimples pooling in each cheek. He blushed and flipped his hair back. Louis watched the sun sift through it, lighting up the blonde.

 

"You'd be a great teacher, Louis," he added persuasively.

 

Louis nodded with a thoughtful hum.

 

"I'm going to ring round a few people, see how it's done, see what the competition is. I also need to check how much more physio I need to get my strength back," he considered.

 

"Just think you could specialise with disabled people or something," Harry suggested, sucking on cubes of melon.

 

Louis flicked his eyes over Harry's handsome face, still not quite believing the vision was real. He was going to work harder than ever to make Harry happy. He wanted to keep him forever this time.

 

"That's a great idea, Baby Bear. Not just a pretty face are you?" Louis pinched his cheek gently.

 

Harry blushed and went back to his melon while Louis ripped a bite out of his croissant.

 

//

 

Clay Marzo was back in town.

 

Harry maybe hadn't considered his idea to support Louis in opening a surf-school _quite_ thoroughly enough to realise that Clay would be staying at Louis' house while he helped him out.

 

And Louis had called him just two days after Harry's pitch meaning when Harry went by on Friday night, he got the surprise of his life when Clay opened the door instead of his petite, brunette lover.

 

"Um, hi," Harry greeted shyly, clearing his throat. "Is Louis in?"

 

Clay grinned and stepped out to hug Harry largely.

 

"Dude, you have no idea how happy I am to see you..."

 

"Oh?" Harry pulled out of the hug with an awkward hand through his hair.

 

"Come inside," Clay invited and Harry arched a brow thinking he was planning to do that anyway, with or without his permission.

 

"Hey Tommo," Clay swaggered through the rented house and onto the patio where the barbecue was warming up.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to the pit and then to the futon that he'd shared with Louis when they'd-

 

"Lover-boy is here!" Clay's loud voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

Harry smiled wanly as Clay dropped down next to Louis on the mattress, grinning up at Harry as he rolled onto his back, hands twined behind his head.

 

"Tommo's struggling with the design for his surf-school," Clay told Harry while Harry just frowned at Louis who was evidently frustrated at whatever he was trying to draw on the page in front of him.

 

"Lou?" Harry ventured. "Need some help?"

 

It didn't look like Louis needed any help at all. It didn't even look like he wanted Harry there. Harry gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the flash of pain in his chest from remembering what it felt like to be ignored.

 

"Can you draw turtles?" Louis asked then, knocking his paper and pencil to one side to jump up. He hot-footed it over Clay's body and launched himself at Harry.

 

Harry caught him with strong arms around his waist, Louis' banding tightly around his shoulders.

 

"Hey," Louis smiled into his ear, nibbling it a bit. "Didn't know you were coming by..."

 

Harry tried to catch his breath and let his lashes flutter to his cheeks. There was no use trying to hide the effect Louis had on him, it was futile and pointless. A darted look to the futon showed that Clay had subtly picked up the floating page to stare at it, avoiding their PDA.

 

"I was surprising you," Harry hummed. "Wanted to take you for dinner."

 

Louis pulled his lips away from Harry's ear, smiling into his face with hope-lit eyes.

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

Harry nodded, pressing  a kiss to Louis' soft-looking lips. He'd been biting them, Harry could tell.

 

"Well I'm sure Marzo won't mind if you take me out to play for a few hours," Louis looked over his shoulder to check on his friend.

 

"What about the barbie, mate?" Clay appealed. "I marinated shrimp and made fish skewers..."

 

Louis twisted his lips.

 

"Harry can't eat fish," Louis explained. "Can you leave the stuff in the fridge for tomorrow?"

 

"Look-don't worry," Harry loosened his arms from Louis' waist where he had him held up against him tightly with his feet off the ground. Louis slid down his body, frowning up at him.

 

"It's okay, Haz," he assured. "You come first," he added softly, looking at him pointedly.

 

Harry licked his lips.

 

"But I crashed in on you unannounced and it'd be silly to waste the food you have."

 

Louis bit his lip, torn.

 

"Marz, we got any veggies left we can make some more skewers with?"

 

Clay grinned, rolling up.

 

"Sure thing," he said, slapping Harry on the arm gently as he went to the kitchen to prep the extra food.

 

Harry Eskimo-kissed Louis with a tiny smile.

 

"You didn't have to do that..."

 

Louis shrugged, slipping out of Harry's arms to grab his hand, leading him to the futon.

 

"Come and draw me a turtle," he said only, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the mattress.

 

Harry settled his back against the head-board and used gentle hands to tug Louis between his legs. Louis used his thigh as a flat surface.

 

"Mine looks more like a spider," he lamented.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to the paper, his hands itching to touch Louis like always. He let one graze through his hair, resting on his back as Louis twisted sideways between his thighs, the other picking up the paper.

 

He tried not to giggle. He failed.

 

"Oh, thanks a lot!" Louis rolled his eyes, flicking the pencil at Harry's chest. "Come on then, master-artiste. You do better."

 

Harry picked up the pencil and the challenge with a smug grin, circling his legs around Louis to cage him in while he couldn't touch him anymore. Louis used his knee to fold his arms over, resting his chin there, then his cheek as he turned his face towards Harry to watch him draw.

 

"How's your shoulder?" Harry asked, flicking his eyes up briefly from his sketch.

 

"Bit sore," Louis rolled it. "Still got about four weeks of physio left."

 

Harry turned the page to get the right angle for the turtle's fins.

 

"If you ever need to, you can stay at mine," he offered.

 

Louis smiled, rubbing his cheek against Harry's knee.

 

"Thank you."

 

"Or I can come here..."

 

"You can," Louis agreed softly. "Whenever you like."

 

Harry managed an impish smile.

 

"Even with Marzo listening?" He arched a brow.

 

Louis smirked, distracted by Marzo's singing as he loaded up the barbecue with their food. He laid his cheek back against Harry's knee.

 

"Don't think he'll mind," he winked and Harry grinned then, his face creasing.

 

Louis watched the sunshine smile of his beau and marvelled at it. He poked one of his dimples, ruffling his hair.

 

"You like that idea?" He teased. "Waking Marzo up with your loud sex noises?"

 

"I'm not the loud one," Harry murmured with a satisfied curve of his lips. "You are..."

 

Louis chucked out an indignant breath and then slid Harry a dark look.

 

"Is that an invitation to test who's right?"

 

Harry smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to Louis' temple, handing him the finished drawing.

 

"Think we'll give Marzo the night off just this once, hm?"

 

Louis looked down at the page, his face opening into awe.

 

A large, patterned turtle was drawn inside a circle, the words 'Surf Sons' arranged around the circle's edge. It was a badge of sorts, a simple but stand-out emblem.

 

"Think you should have had a manatee personally, but," Harry leaned back, folding his arms.

 

Louis laid the paper gently to the side and crawled up Harry's chest, making the other man unfold his arms.

 

"Get a room!" Marzo hooted from the pit, making Louis grin into the kiss he  gave Harry, clashing their teeth slightly until their lips found traction.

 

"Mmm," Harry wrapped his arms and legs around Louis to trap him there, tilting his head to kiss him deeper, slipping a tongue into his beer-tasting mouth.

 

"Nope, nope, nope..." Louis pulled away and crawled into an open space, breath faster than normal, face flushed and hair a little bit ruined by Harry.

 

Harry merely smiled and drew his knees up to his chest, folding his arms around them so that Marzo wouldn't notice the semi Harry was already sporting.

 

"Tommo, get down here and help me with the salad," Marzo called, giving Louis the perfect excuse to escape.

 

He'd never considered himself a man capable of public displays of a sexual nature but something about Harry made him disregard anyone and anything else.

 

"I'm on it," he assured, jumping up to fetch the salad from the kitchen.

 

//

 

Marzo sat grinning through a mouthful of food at the lovers, flicking his gaze from one to the other since they'd both sat side-by-side opposite him.

 

"So is it official yet?" He asked. "You're back on?"

 

Louis sucked some sauce off his thumb, sliding a shy look towards Harry at his side.

 

Harry licked his lips and shrugged.

 

"We haven't had _the talk_ ," Louis told his friend gently.

 

Marzo arched a brow.

 

"Rightio...but you think you'll buy a place here now? What with settling down with a surf school?"

 

Louis couldn't help his relaxed smile at the thought of finally feeling like somewhere was home. It was largely due to Harry's presence but he'd found a best friend in Liam and Niall was a sweet guy to have around, too.

 

"Yeah, this is home, now," he confirmed.

 

"Had much interest since you were on TV?" Louis' friend wondered.

 

Louis blushed and ducked his head a bit, flicking his eyes sideways to try and signal to Marzo that he couldn't answer that particular question in front of Harry. Harry arched a brow and looked between them with a confused frown.

 

"What's going on?" Harry asked. "Has someone been in touch from the press?"

 

Louis shook his head with a tight smile, finishing off his shrimp.

 

"Hey, Marz, help me bring out the beer and cake?" Louis asked of his friend.

 

Harry watched them disappear inside Louis' house with narrowed eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

It was early morning when Harry woke, quickly slipping from bed to get dressed and wandering into the kitchen for a quick drink of water before he left to go back home.

 

It may be the weekend but the deermice needed their habitat protected and the Purple Sandpiper eggs they'd found yesterday were being incubated, something he needed to oversee very closely to ensure the young hatched safely.

 

He and Louis had reignited their passion last night once Marzo had retired to bed and Harry had forgotten how incredible it was to be wrapped up with Louis on the sofa, making quiet, intense love as they kissed the sounds out of each other's mouths.

 

He'd woken up with Louis as a jetpack and his body aching sweetly in remembrance of their love-making.

 

Nobody in the house was awake as Harry snuck out, heading home to change before going back to the centre, finding Niall at the helm.

 

"Top of tha mornin' to ya," his Irish friend greeted with a knowing wink.

 

Harry rolled his eyes, stepping inside.

 

"Hello, Niall," he greeted amusedly. "Any emergencies so far?"

 

Niall pressed a splayed hand to his chest in mock-outrage.

 

"I'll have you know I'm sworn to informing you of every single minor incident, what on earth makes you think I'm gonna forget to tell ya about the emergencies?"

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Nice. Thanks, Ni."

 

Harry headed into the staff room and changed into his waterproofs and wellies, pulling his hair into a bun as he came back through, only slightly limping from his sore knee.

 

"I'm just going to check on the nests of the deermice then I'll be back to monitor the incubator," Harry supplied, leaning on the counter as Niall tucked himself back into the radio-control seat.

 

"Hey before you go," Niall turned to look at him. "Is everything good with you and Louis now?"

 

Harry had told Niall a brief amount about his relationship with Louis- or lack thereof- and when he'd found himself sneaking out after the first time they'd had sex again, Niall had somehow, _very intuitively_ , known something was wrong.

 

"It's..." Harry frowned. What was it? Was it good? For the most part, maybe but even Marzo had recognised neither of them had committed to more than dating. So it could be better. But Harry wasn't ready for that, yet, he wasn't ready to give himself away again because Louis had hurt him once, even if it wasn't intentional.

 

And he still felt reticence to fall all the way down again.

 

"That doesn't sound hopeful," Niall mused in the gap of Harry's thoughts.

 

Harry sucked in his lower lip, sighing out.

 

"I want it to be," he expressed then. "Hopeful, I mean. I just...I just need a bit more time to trust him fully." He described.

 

Niall nodded, licking his lips and tilting his head.

 

"What aren't you telling me, Hazza?"

 

Harry smiled and stepped away from the counter, twisting to walk to the front window, but not opening the door the way he'd like to, to avoid talking about this.

 

"What if I let him all the way in and he leaves again?" Harry asked the concourse leading down to the beach. "What if I turn into that person again and _make_ him leave?" He added more heavily.

 

Harry heard a scraping noise but he didn't know Niall had got up until he felt his friend pressing a hug into him from behind.

 

"I think Louis will love you no matter what, mate," Niall pointed out softly. "Seems like he already does..."

 

Harry swallowed, knowing this much was true. But something still rang a bell inside his head, something still itched at him and he couldn't explain it or push the feeling away.

 

"I know he's proved it by coming after me when I fell but-"

 

Niall squeezed him.

 

"But you need time to catch up," he summarised accurately. "I get it, Hazza."

 

Harry reached sideways to pull Niall there. trying to hug him back.

 

"Knew you would," he said, ruffling the other blonde man's hair before heading out for his duties.

 

//

 

His limp was more pronounced as he walked up to the front door of his house, startling as a form unfurled from the shadows.

 

"Hey," Louis smiled nervously.

 

Harry blinked.

 

"Hey."

 

"Uh," Louis frowned, looking to his sneakers. "Just thought I'd...um..."

 

"Drop by?" Harry suggested.

 

Louis swallowed. And then nodded, eyes fixed to Harry's face.

 

Harry was sure he had marsh-mud smeared across his cheek.

 

"Yeah, that," Louis sighed in relief. "Drop by." He repeated.

 

"Been waiting long?" Harry asked worriedly, knowing his return home had been delayed somewhat by a family of ghost crabs that had been caught in a tide and wafted inland. He'd had to put them in a lobster cage and drive the boat all the way back out to the reef to give them a fighting chance to find home.

 

Louis shrugged, his small shoulders curving inwards.

 

"Not really."

 

Harry tilted his head.

 

"Lou..."

 

"Alright, yeah, a while," he admitted sheepishly. "Didn't want you to think I was a stalker," he mused.

 

Harry smiled tiredly and limped to the front door to unlock it.

 

"You better come in then and warm up," Harry suggested. "I can make us some cheese on toast if you like..."

 

Louis followed him with a concerned frown.

 

"Your knee's bad isn't it?" Louis accused more than asked.

 

Harry shrugged off his thick coat and tossed it on the sofa before heading to the kitchen.

 

"It's fine," Harry dismissed. "Probably all that kneeling I did a couple of days ago," he smirked.

 

Louis moved up behind him and shut the fridge door gently.

 

"Go and have a shower, H. I'll look for food and get something made for us."

 

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' shoulders as the shorter man wormed his way in front of him, blocking him from the fridge. He blinked tiredly at him.

 

"Kind of wanted to shower with you _after_ dinner," Harry hinted.

 

Louis pursed his lips and shook his head slowly, a hundred images flicking through his mind of wet Harry and more importantly, what he could do to a wet Harry if he was given the chance.

 

The thing was, Harry was hurt and even though he sounded up-for something sexual, Louis knew he'd never forgive himself for putting pressure on an already tired and injured Harold.

 

He bit his lip as he brushed a thumb gently over Harry's cheek, watching Harry's lashes flutter shut.

 

"Babe, I'll come and wash you if you want but you need to sleep after dinner, ok?" Louis tiptoed to press a kiss to his cheek where his thumb had once touched.

 

Harry blinked at him, something like uncertainty filling his eyes.

 

"I'm okay, you know, I can-"

 

"Shh," Louis kissed his lips quiet. "This isn't some teenage relationship where you need to prove to me you _can_. We both know you _can_ ," Louis teased with a bright-eyed smirk. "You mean more to me than that and I'd like to prove it if you don't mind."

 

Harry flicked his eyes away, a warmth creeping up his chest to bloom on his cheeks. This was a Louis he knew well, a man he remembered with great fondness, someone who used to spoil him and treat him like a prince.

 

"Okay," he managed to agree quietly.

 

Louis smiled with a happy nod and led him to the bathroom.

 

//

 

Swaddled in a huge fluffy dressing gown, his blonde hair wrapped in a towel, Harry sat on the sofa with his feet tucked up in front of him, sipping the tea Louis had made.

 

Louis brought in a plate full of triangles of toast with melted cheese, setting it in front of Harry on the coffee table.

 

Harry smiled secretly, blushing and not quite meeting Louis' eyes.

 

***

_Louis' arms go about his waist, both of them covered in soap-suds and two small, enquiring hands slide down his spine to curve over his backside. Harry gasps a bit and swallows back a sound of approval._

_"Baby H, so beautiful when you're clean," Louis sing-songs, making Harry dimple and curl into him shyly._

_"Shut up, Tomlinson," he grumbles, but the way he leans into him and lets Louis wash him intimately reveals more than his words._

_"Gonna make me shut up, H?" Louis asks, lowering himself until he's on his knees on the shower floor._

_"Lou..." Harry warns in a low voice, barely keeping back the wanton whine in his throat._

_"Yes, Harry?" Louis asks, fisting around Harry's flaccid dick and stroking slowly. He licks the tip and Harry feels light-headed as the blood rushes to his groin._

_"Thought you were too tired," Louis teases, mouthing around him before Harry changes his mind._

_"I missed you," Harry pants out while grasping a handful of Louis' wet hair._

_***_

 

"So," Louis slipped an arm around Harry's waist to cuddle into his side, munching on his toast. "Feel good?" He checked.

 

Harry nodded widely, humming around his food.

 

"Feel so good," he assured. "Thank you, Lou."

 

"You're welcome," Louis helped himself to another slice of toast. "Does this qualify me for a sleepover?"

 

Harry twisted to kiss Louis' temple.

 

"Of course."

 

Louis grinned a bit to himself as Harry watched the skin by his eyes crinkle.

 

//

 

"This shack is up for commercial rent..."

 

Marzo was showing Louis around the viable options for his yet-to-be realised surf-school dream.

 

"There was another company here but they got offered a big deal with a national sponsor so they relocated to New Jersey."

 

Louis nodded, turning down his lips, circling the small shack that would house his office, a small surf-wear shop which his students could lease their kit from as well as all the surf-boards a person could want.

 

"Do you think my shoulder can hold up under the pressure?" Louis asked his friend, circling it subconsciously.

 

Marzo smiled and came closer, gently grasping Louis' upper arms.

 

"Dude, you've had worse falls before I even knew you. I know why this one hit you the hardest but don't for one second let doubt take over," he encouraged. "Even if you can't manage six lessons a day, do starter lessons in groups or one on one beginner lessons. Leave the hard stuff to somebody else..."

 

Louis nodded taking a breath of hope.

 

"Yeah, you're right, there's options...I can do this," he said it aloud to make it feel true.

 

"I've got a cousin who'd help you set it up and kit you out," Marzo offered.

 

Louis smiled at him.

 

"Thanks, man."

 

Marzo grinned a bit.

 

"Plus you're like.. a stone's throw from a certain beach blonde I know you're a little bit crazy about..."

 

Louis shunted at Marzo's shoulder as he twisted away to temper his own smile, feeling happy and in-love more than ever before.

 

"Shut up, Marz," Louis warned gently. "Not like I'm ragging you about your girl," he added.

 

Marzo smirked.

 

"My girl didn't dump my ass and then miraculously take me back...I've gotta know bro, how did you swing that?"

 

Louis shook his head with pursed lips, waiting a whole three seconds before spurning his attack, curling an arm around Marzo's neck to lock him in place while he messed his blonde hair.

 

"Take it back!" Louis roared, having to jump and push down hard to keep his friend low.

 

Marzo laughed breathlessly, squirming and twisting to get away.

 

"Where's the lie!" He demanded, guffawing as he got free, having to sprint when Louis chased him.

 

They ended up tangled together in a hug-come-wrestling manoeuvre both laughing and pressing their faces into each other's bodies somehow, Louis' to Marzo's bicep and Marzo's to his left pec.

 

"Surrender, Marz," Louis told him, grinning so hard his face felt like it was going to crack.

 

"Never!" Marzo promised loudly.

 

Louis twisted them until they tumbled, falling to the ground in a heap. Marzo laughed first while Louis laughed hardest, clutching at his ribs as tears filled his eyes.

 

Marzo got up and offered a hand to Louis, pulling him into a boyish hug.

 

"I missed having you around, bro," his friend told him and Louis rolled his eyes, patting his back gently.

 

Marzo loved giving hugs and it was something you soon learned about him and more than that, learned to accept.

 

"Well, I'm here now," Louis replied, squeezing tight.

 

He felt a presence behind them before he heard the clearing of a throat.

 

"Wondered what the noise was," Harry's voice floated over them, causing Louis to turn towards it. He sounded funny.

 

When Louis flicked his gaze to Harry's face, he _looked_ funny too. His eyes were dark and intent and his jaw was tight.

 

"Just this ass-hole trying to wrestle me," Louis offered with a wan smile.

 

"He's in denial that he has the charm," Marzo inserted, which earned him a  sharp elbow in the ribs from Louis.

 

"He doesn't know what he's talking about," Louis said quickly, moving to greet Harry even though it felt awkward.

 

"It's true," Marzo said anyway, pausing Louis in his step towards Harry. "Harry, tell Louis how charming he is..."

 

Another voice joined the group.

 

"Could charm a snake from the trees," Anne inserted, earning a heaven-ward glare from Harry who twisted to narrow his eyes at her.

 

"Thanks Mom, don't really need your help right now..."

 

"Really?" Anne enquired silkily, giving Marzo the once-over, then Louis, more slowly and deliberately. "Because he cheated on you once and charmed his way back into your pants and now he's at it with another blonde...only this time it happens to be the right gender," Anne added coolly. "I know exactly how charming he is."

 

Marzo's brows lifted and his mouth gaped open. He looked to Louis who was smaller, curling in on himself with a bitter frown, his eyes looking tired already from five seconds in the presence of this woman.

 

"Anne," Louis began gently, not even sure what he was going to say, but it didn't matter because his friend cut in on him.

 

"Fuck you," Marzo told the woman he didn't know, drawing shocked looks from all three of them. "Fuck you if you can't see how Louis worships the ground Harry walks on. None of you were there the day Harry ended it, none of you saw what it did to him, _I_ did. And I don't give a fuck if he kissed a stupid girl he doesn't even fancy because none of _that_ matters," Marzo added angrily. "All I know is that Louis would die protecting Harry and why don't you see that?" He challenged Anne.

 

Louis' grim grey eyes lifted, searching out Harry. He was pale, like the blood had drained from his face leaving his huge beautiful eyes haunting his pale skin. His lips were bitten red and Louis had never wanted to love somebody so much in his entire life. He just wanted to lay down with Harry underneath him and fuck him sweetly until he came crying out his name.

 

"I love him," Louis finally spoke to break the shocked shell of silence, turning his gaze to Anne. "I know you find it hard to believe but-"

 

Louis sighed, biting his lip as he reached for his jacket pocket.

 

Marzo put a hand out to stop the movement, shaking his head. Louis stared at him, face creasing.

 

"I want to marry him, Mrs. Styles," Louis said, letting his hand fall away from his pocket. "I want to prove I'm for real."

 

Anne gave him a derisive smirk.

 

"Over my dead body," she announced, turning to stride up the concourse to the Marine Science Centre.

 

Louis turned his gaze to Harry to find out his thoughts on commitment.

 

"I want to be with you, Harry. For good," he added softly.

 

Marzo drifted closer to Louis, a silent support.

 

Harry looked behind him to the building his mother had disappeared into and then back to his lover, a man he ached to be with, a man whose blood felt like it pounded through his own veins. He was so in sync with Louis it physically hurt to be away from him.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to Marzo, swallowing hard.

 

Seeing Clay with Louis like that, laughing so hard he cried reminded Harry that _he_ didn't make Louis laugh like that, he would maybe never make him happy like that. Clay may be straight but when he and Louis were together it filled Harry with some kind of weird fire, dark like the ink of night with supernova undertones. It was hot and uncomfortable as it raged in his chest.

 

"Maybe it just isn't enough?" Harry asked out loud, musing his thoughts. "Maybe I'm just not the guy to make you happy..." He added, flicking another pointed look at Marzo.

 

"Harry," Louis started after him as Harry turned to trudge up the slope. "H, come on...."

 

Harry began to run, putting  a hand up behind him in a gesture for Louis not to follow. Louis stood and felt the breath leave his lungs, felt every drop of hope seep from his body.

 

Marzo came and slid an arm around Louis' shoulders.

 

"He's just rebounding on his bitch of a mom," his friend assured softly. "Don't give up on him yet, you got this far."

 

"How many times?" Louis grimaced with a bitter hurt rising in his chest sending welting pain across his body. "How many times do I let him run away?"

 

Marzo rubbed his arm.

 

"As many times as he needs to until he starts running towards you instead of away," his friend counselled and Louis wanted to bury himself in Clay's embrace but he was too scared Harry might be watching, assuming the pair of them deserved to be together despite a distinct lack of attraction for both men.

 

"Let's go back and organise a viewing for the shack," Louis suggested with a wobbly voice.

 

Marzo nodded and led the way.

 

//

 

 

Harry should have known something was up from the second he stepped inside the doorway at work, only to find Niall smiling at him innocently.

 

"Mornin' Harry."

 

"What's going on?" Harry replied with a suspicious squint.

 

Niall smirked.

 

"Nothing."

 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Harry accused.

 

"Like what?" Niall enquired.

 

Harry huffed and went to move through to the staff room.

 

"Ah, keep your casuals on," Niall called behind him.

 

Harry turned.

 

"Why?"

 

"Jeff's got a dolphin cruise booked he wants to take you out so you can check over the youngsters."

 

Harry licked his lips staring Niall hard in the face.

 

"Really?" He mused, sensing the lie and having no way of backing out of the trip.

 

"Yep," Niall nodded. "May as well enjoy the boat ride," he added mischievously.

 

Harry arched a brow.

 

"What time is this occurring?" He enquired.

 

"Ten minutes," Niall smiled. "Jeff'll be here any second now..."

 

//

 

It was Jeff who picked him up from the centre, walking him down the jetty to the boat.

 

It wasn't a dolphin cruiser rocking on the water's surface. It was a hired cruiser with a table for two, a small metal bucket filled with ice and beers and two place settings artfully arranged.

 

A posy of pink and cream flowers was arranged in the centre of the table along with an electronic candle. A thick Michelin-man style coat was hung on the back of the chair.

 

Harry turned and looked at his colleague.

 

"What the fuck is this?" he asked frankly.

 

Jeff smiled.

 

"Captain Tomlinson, do we have your permission to board, sir?" Jeff called out and Harry rolled his eyes, turning to attempt an escape, only to be shunted toward the boat by Jeff as Louis climbed up from the lower deck.

 

"Permission granted..." Louis unfolded the walkway and held out a hand towards Harry.

 

Harry curled his lower lip over his top one with a stubborn huff.

 

"Lou, this really isn't necessary you know..."

 

"Who's Lou?" Louis smirked. "I'm Captain L Tomlinson of this here vessel, The Mary Rose, and you are my invited guest for this afternoon's activities..."

 

Harry stared at him with hooded eyes.

 

"Dolphin watching," Louis added ruefully at Harry's look. "We're just going to watch the dolphins. Your modesty is safe in my hands," he added.

 

Harry snorted, carefully putting one trepid foot on the plank. He had to grab for Louis' hand when the boat swayed a bit and he jumped into the gulley with a sigh of relief.

 

"Let's just get this over with shall we?" He suggested moodily, slumping down in one of the chairs.

 

Louis saluted to Jeff and started the motored engine, slipping on a captain's cap and flinging a peaked one to Harry.

 

"You can be my First Mate," he twinkled, biting his lip at the double meaning.

 

"Shouldn't that be the other way around," Harry mumbled, tugging on the headwear.

 

Louis glanced over his shoulder.

 

"Hold on tight, ship-hand, it's just a short ride but a bumpy one," Louis expressed with a grin.

 

Harry decided to sit at the back of the boat instead, looking out onto the waves.

 

//

 

 

His floral trousers, sandals and t-shirt were just right for the unexpectedly warm day.

 

Despite the water being choppy, the sky was filled with big abundant white puffed up clouds and streaks of pink from aircraft enjoying the clear skies.

 

Harry could hear Louis' voice and thought he was talking- maybe even to himself, but it became clear he was singing. Something Harry missed the most, maybe.

 

_# If you're horny lets do it, ride it, my pony My saddle's waiting, come and jump on it If you're horny lets do it, ride it, my pony My saddle's waiting, come and jump on it..."_

 

Harry laughed out loud and fast, covering his mouth with his hand as a loud 'Hah!' burst out of him.

 

Louis turned, lifting his brows.

 

"Alright back there?"

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Yeah." He replied, muttering under his breath how horny songs weren't going to help matters.

 

"Think I should sing that one to Anne?" Louis posed.

 

Harry sighed, fiddling with his fingers. His mom had given him the third degree again about Louis that day, had reminded Harry how Louis was just a butterfly, a flirt who flitted between lovers. Harry had frowned at that, knowing it not to be entirely true. When they'd been together Louis had never cheated on him, apart from the stupid drunken kiss with a girl which wasn't even sexual. Before that, Louis had been with the same person for six years from the age of sixteen to twenty-two.

 

He'd told Harry when they'd met that he'd met Jared in high school and they'd become sweethearts even going through college together until Louis had got his calling for the surf and Jared had gone to University on the other side of the country.

 

When they'd met that day; it had been sunrise and Louis had stalked up the beach and dug his board in the sand while Harry tried to keep his eyes open from a long night having stayed awake to make sure the sea-turtles buried their eggs safely. He'd just finished cordoning off the area when he'd laid down to appreciate the view of the day starting when Louis had run up the sand, all curvy and handsome.

 

Louis wasn't famous then, hadn't made his mark on the world but he made his mark on Harry, being the first guy Harry had gone all the way with. The only trouble was, Harry was in this vortex of self-doubt and fear, not knowing which way to turn anymore.

 

"I told her how I feel," Harry ventured.

 

Louis frowned a bit and curved the boat into a cove, killing the engine and dropping anchor.

 

He came and sat beside Harry on the hull bench.

 

"How _do_ you feel?" Louis asked carefully, tugging at his own fingers nervously.

 

Harry frowned at him.

 

"You know how I feel."

 

Louis swallowed.

 

"I also know how your family feel so..."

 

"So?" Harry arched.

 

"So, it changes things," Louis defended. "You can't pretend it doesn't change things."

 

Harry blinked, turning towards him. He reached for Louis' shaky little hands and curled his around them, shuffling closer.

 

"Louis, how I feel doesn't change just because my mom thinks she can ban me from seeing you," he mused. "I'm old enough to make my own choices."

 

"Then why did you run away again?" He asked. "Why not stand united with me?"

 

"Because," Harry huffed and stood up, slinging a hand through his hair while he paced up and down the desk. "I didn't know you were gonna mention marriage, did I?" Harry exasperated. "I didn't know that was something you'd even thought about let alone-"

 

Louis looked up, wide eyes vulnerable.

 

"Let alone was prepared to tell my mom about," he finished his thought as Louis remained quiet.

 

"I thought it'd get her to see how serious I was," Louis admitted. "I had thought about it and I was planning on having the chat with you at some point but she was there acting like I'm just this Casanova and-"

 

"You've only slept with two guys," Harry nodded. "I have told her that."

 

"If she even knew half of what I feel for you, she'd know how fucking scared I am of fucking this up again, how completely rigid with fear I get when I imagine losing you again and how-"

 

Harry's lips pressed into Louis' remaining words, eating them up. He moved quickly, taking Louis into his arms and kissing him slowly until Louis warmed up to it, kissing him back. When his hands found Harry's hair, he smiled into the kiss, slowly drawing them out.

 

Harry's moss-green eyes flicked between Louis'.

 

"You do know it makes me insanely jealous when Marzo hugs you," Harry rumbled.

 

Louis frowned. Wait.... _what?!_

 

"What?" He asked out loud.

 

"You look so damn happy with him and the guy just feels the need to wrap you up every damn second of the day he's with you, I just-"

 

It was Louis' turn to break the conversation with a kiss. He mumbled _'shut up, shut up, you're turning me on'_ , against Harry's lips and Harry moaned and tried to get Louis underneath him on the bench but it was too small.

 

Louis blinked at him as they pulled apart.

 

"I did bring a service trolley with dinner," he shared. "And if you feel like cuddling after dinner there's a bed below deck..."

 

Harry's teeth grazed over his lower lip. He was hungry and it wasn't for dinner and he wasn't thinking of using the bed for cuddling, either. But he didn't want to waste the effort Louis had made. He evidently was trying to impress him. And Harry was never a man to let Louis go disappointed.


	14. Chapter 14

 

Louis had served a grilled potato salad with warm goat-cheese tart.

 

Harry had been secretly impressed with the fare even if Louis hadn't made it himself. To warm it up and serve it from a warm trolley was something of a feat on the boat.

 

Harry insisted on eating dessert on the bench at the hull, stretching his legs out as Louis handed him pavlova with lashings of whipped cream.

 

Harry cocked a brow as Louis plopped on the seat beside him.

 

"Oh yeah?" Harry asked.

 

Louis smiled.

 

"Yeah," he said only, taking a bold bite of his dessert.

 

Harry spent some time digging out his cream so he could swirl his tongue into the spoon to gather it up and Louis watched him as those green eyes met his steadily, flirting; while Harry's long tongue curled into the white fluffy substance.

 

Louis seemed to pre-empt Harry's next move, shoving his bowl to one side as Harry leaned across to lick cream over his cheek, pressing messy kisses there right after.

 

"Mmm, you taste good, Lou," Harry beamed crookedly, eyes bright.

 

Louis grinned squirming to find leverage and once he found it he surged forward gently pushing Harry backwards until he nearly mounted the hull.

 

When he audaciously licked into Harry's dimple, Harry cackled, sliding his arms around Louis' waist and letting his hands seek warm flesh by smoothing under his t-shirt.

 

Louis tried to get a knee between Harry's but Harry was giggling too hard and curling up until Louis began to tickle him just to get the upper hand enough to tug his t-shirt off.

 

Louis dangled it over the edge of the boat with mischievousness bright in his eyes, his smile blinding.

 

Harry's legs went akimbo to keep balance as he reached for it, one arm still around Louis' waist.

 

Harry paused, grin equally bright as he stared into Louis' daring eyes. He shrugged.

 

"Throw it then," he challenged.

 

Louis tossed it behind him and rolled in closer, cupping the back of Harry's neck as Harry's hand slid across his side. Louis looked between his eyes slightly breathless at the electrical charge pulsing between them.

 

"Why're you still dressed?" Harry asked thickly, his voice crackly with want.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"Because you're a hopeless opponent," he teased, yanking down Harry's shorts to leave him open mouthed and gasping in just his boxer briefs.

 

"C'mere, Lou," Harry tried to roll up to equal the playing field but Louis was back straddling him pressing hands into his muscular chest.

 

"Can I help you?" His lips twitched with a delighted purse.

 

Harry's hands curved around Louis' hips then travelled down over his thighs; thumbs brushing into the apex before sliding back up, underneath Louis' top.

 

Louis' eyes darkened and he swallowed as Harry let his hands glide across Louis' tan skin settling in his lower back making Louis shift a bit in his lap.

 

"You've always been so beautiful," Harry told him, lifting a hand to frame his face tenderly. 

 

Louis tilted his cheek into it so that Harry's thumb brushed his delicate cheekbone where his dark lashes fanned out.

 

"Do you-" Louis swallowed again taking a breath. "Do you want to, you know," Louis tilted his head side to side so that Harry's hand was dislodged.

 

He quickly went back to touching Louis' body, riding his t-shirt up to his ribs suggestively.

 

"Do I want to what, Lou?" Harry asked lowly, distracted by the baring of Louis' tummy and wanting to change positions so he could kiss it.

 

Louis was still so, so thin and his tummy was incredibly flat; almost concave. But Harry knew he could change that with a few more rich meals and lots of warm love.

 

"Do you want to fuck me, Haz?" Louis asked him then surprising Harry with his candour.

 

Harry's eyes drifted over him as he gently removed the pesky t-shirt and stared, his hands holding Louis tightly in his lap. He was very interested, his body was signal to that but Harry's mind cast to a few nights ago when he'd come in limping and Louis had told him to rest.

 

Right now Louis was physically fine but mentally...Harry wasn't sure all of his scars had healed.

 

"I've got an idea," he said.

 

Louis looked at him.

 

"Let's get those shorts off, hm?"

 

//

 

Louis wasn't sure what had just happened.

 

It definitely involved being brought off by Harry's big hand surrounding him. There had been another hand grasping his inner thigh persuading them open as Harry had slid his big arousal-heavy dick along Louis' ass-cheeks.

 

He'd felt secure, protected in Harry's arms, his back to Harry's chest and laid on him helplessly. It was a strange feeling, one that now made him feel conversely insecure.

 

"Hey, hey..."

 

Those muscle-thickened arms locked around his middle as he squirmed.

 

"Don't go anywhere," Harry's voice rumbled in his ear.

 

Louis' ass was sticky with Harry's semen and his belly was sticky with his own where Harry had rubbed it when he'd come.

 

But the slowing shallow breaths and thudded heartbeat from under him were strangely comforting.

 

"Gonna let me hold you, Lou?" Harry nuzzled his ear.

 

Louis clutched Harry's hands with his own.

 

"If you promise not to run," he murmured scared of falling again, scared of wanting to be held.

 

Harry's sigh was a warm puff of air against Louis' temple.

 

"I promise," he hummed.

 

Louis relaxed his body into the big one protecting him. 

 

"Don't let me go," he told Harry with a scared voice.

 

"I won't," Harry promised.

 

//

 

Marzo smirked knowingly at the two men as they approached to meet him and Liam at the coffee-house.

 

Louis smiled at his friend, clasping Harry's hand tightly in his smaller one and Harry tucked his long hair behind his ear under his beanie, meeting Marzo's gaze.

 

"Hey," Harry lifted his chin in greeting.

 

Marzo tilted his head.

 

"We cool?" He asked.

 

Harry nodded and stepped forward to hug him.

 

"Sorry for being weird before."

 

Marzo bit his lip.

 

"He's all yours, you know," he commented.

 

Harry nodded, taking a step back to relink his hand with Louis'.

 

"I know."

 

Marzo looked at Louis with a raised brow but Louis shook his head indiscernibly, beaming as Liam loped up.

 

"Hey!" Louis broke away from Harry to hug his new friend, someone he probably hadn't spent enough time with lately.

 

"Louis!" Liam grinned and hugged him back, saluting to Harry over Louis' shoulder. "How's things with you, Harry?" He asked.

 

Harry nodded slowly, a shy smile curling onto his lips.

 

"Good, thanks..."

 

Marzo chuckled and moved closer, clasping Harry's shoulder.

 

"Tommo better be treating you right, Styles. Otherwise you tell me and I'll kick his pretty little bottom..."

 

Harry felt his face crease into amusement, the weird atmosphere melting away.

 

Everything was going to be okay. Marzo was okay, Louis was okay, Liam was okay.

 

His lashes flickered as he thought about his mother. Probably not okay for some time yet but still...nothing he could do about that.

 

"Let's get breakfast," he prompted the four of them to huddle inside.

 

//

 

Louis' gaze roamed subtly over his beau as Harry sat in the middle of the sofa with Louis on one end, his leg strewn possessively across Harry's lap as he sipped tea.

 

Harry had a navy fisherman's beanie on and a thick grey jumper with black jeans. Louis was so used to seeing him in summer-wear, it was weird seeing him dressed for the cold snap. Louis had selected a grey jumper today, too, a fine-knit one that he curled over his hands.

 

Harry rested his drink gently on Louis' thigh whenever his arm dropped to his lap and it made Louis smile inexplicably fondly every time he did it, making him bite his lip to hide his reaction.

 

Harry was telling Liam and Marzo about a baby manatee he was teaching to swim, one they'd found off the coast who'd  been injured after being caught in a net.

 

Louis watched him talk seriously, his thick brows furrowed, his lips slightly pouted. He wanted to kiss him, to kiss that pout away. He wanted to give Harry the ring he'd bought him that Marzo had wisely put him off presenting.

 

Harry might know his intentions now- to get married and have a life here with him- but he didn't know about the ring just yet. It might scare him off, it might send him running again and Louis wanted Harry to be completely secure in their relationship before he asked him to wear it.

 

Louis' hand had- of its own accord- worked into the lengths of Harry's hair that peeked out from his beanie and he blushed as he found all three men gazing at him when he exited his thoughts.

 

"Crikey mate, you're gone," Liam teased with smile-crinkled eyes.

 

Marzo guffawed and coughed 'whipped' into his hand.

 

"Ha-ha," Louis rolled his eyes good-naturedly, avoiding looking into Harry's since he was blushing enough already.

 

Louis felt the warm curl of Harry's hand against the thigh that was cast across him and he did meet his gaze then, venturing a small smile. Harry brushed his thumb over Louis' jeans with softness in his eyes.

 

"You okay, Lou?" He checked.

 

Louis nodded, his smile trying to jump off his face and run around the room screaming.

 

"Never better, Harold," he assured. "Never better..."

 

"Hey guys, why don't you all come to mine Saturday, I'm having a barbecue at my place," Liam broke the moment with his invite.

 

"Sounds good to me," Louis nodded.

 

"You can bring Niall and Jeff if you want, Harry," Liam added and Harry nodded.

 

"I'll let them know," Harry assured.

 

"Marzo?" Louis checked.

 

Marzo tilted his head side to side.

 

"Was planning to get back home Friday," he hummed. "My girl misses me, you know..."

 

Louis grinned, throwing a sugar-packet wrapper at him.

 

"Come on bro...one more day won't hurt?"

 

Marzo rolled his eyes.

 

"Alright, if I must," he agreed reluctantly.

 

Halfway through the meet-up, Harry made his apologies to leave having had a call from Niall to say the Purple Sandpiper eggs were starting to hatch. Louis walked him outside and shared a quick, warm hug and soft, brief kiss before heading back in.

 

He earned the expectant gaze of Marzo on his return.

 

"What?" He mused. "Don't bullshit me about being mushy with Harry alright?"

 

Marzo scoffed.

 

"I'm more wondering when you're going to tell him about the WSB-TV deal," he pointed out.

 

Liam leaned forward in his seat.

 

"What's this Louis? You got a TV deal?"

 

Louis sighed and rolled his eyes, rubbing a hand over his face.

 

"Thanks, Marz, really needed another person to know before Harry."

 

"So what's the deal, Louis?" Liam asked interestedly.

 

Louis pressed his lips together and reached for his drink before explaining.

 

"They want me to present the Sports section on the News Roundup," He described. "In return, they'll be the sponsor for the Surf Shack."

 

Liam's mouth fell open before his lips formed into an ecstatic smile.

 

"Louis! That's brilliant!"

 

Louis shook his head and reached for his drink again, chewing the edge of the card cup.

 

"Not really," he arched a brow.

 

Liam frowned.

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because I promised Harry I wouldn't be that guy again- you know the one in the spotlight? The famous one?"

 

Liam's expression softened into sympathy.

 

"Louis, you're not the guy you were back then. Even if you took a TV job it's not the same commitment as a surf tour. You'll still be right here on Harry's doorstep..."

 

Louis grimaced.

 

"That's what they say now. What if they want me to start covering events live, what if they need me to travel? I can't leave him again, Li..."

 

"But the sponsorship will help you establish the Surf Shack and give you the time you need to get better first. You can start the TV job now and have the surfing lessons to fall back on once you're ready. You get the best of both worlds..."

 

"I know," Louis nodded solemnly. "But it'd bring back too many bad memories for Haz."

 

"Have you asked him?" Liam asked.

 

Marzo arched a brow.

 

"No, he hasn't," he inserted. "Because he's scared."

 

Louis narrowed his eyes at his so-called friend.

 

"Shut up, Marz."

 

"He also bought Harry a ring," Marzo added to Liam, making Louis strike out to punch him gently.

 

"Fuck, can you keep a secret?"

 

"Liam here is in charge of you when I leave, bro," Marzo defended. "He needs to know the situation."

 

Louis lowered his gaze to the floor and waited for the burn in his cheeks to subside.

 

Liam got up from his seat and sat down beside Louis, flicking Marzo a small smile. He slipped an arm around Louis' shoulders which Louis tried to fidget off, scowling and narrowing his eyes as he flicked his gaze away.

 

"Louis...I get why you're scared," Liam shared. "But you need to give Harry the chance to tell you exactly how he feels about this...if he hates the idea then you've not lost anything," he counselled. "But he might want you to do this...he might be cool with it. So at least give him the chance to say no before deciding for him?"

 

Louis heaved in a breath and huffed it out.

 

"I guess," he mumbled.

 

Liam grinned and ruffled his hair.

 

"Hey!" Louis fought him off, tickling fingers into his side.

 

Marzo sat back and folded his arms smugly as he watched the pair play-fight.

 

//

 

Louis was the first to arrive at Liam's house to help him set up.

 

He was pulled into a hug by Sophia and crushed by Liam's strong arms before he was set to work in the kitchen cutting up fruit for a fruit salad.

 

He twitched a bit, feeling self conscious in his black and white sporty surf-shorts and black tank emblazoned with 'Suns Out Guns Out' in bright writing.

 

It had been a while since he'd worn his casual beach wear and he didn't feel completely comfortable but the fact he styled his hair over his eye helped a bit. At least he could hide under his fringe.

 

Marzo showed up next followed by Niall and Jeff together and Louis frowned bemusedly at the lack of his beau. He pulled out his cell to send a text.

 

_Hey, you on your way?_

His phone buzzed as he was carrying out dishes of salad to lay under the shadows of the sun umbrellas.

 

**_Coming ;)_ **

****

Louis' lips pursed, his eyes twinkling at the idea of it.

 

_You will be later..._

Louis decided to perch by the mini-pool bar Liam had set up which was being manned by a coffee-skinned man.

 

"Hey, man," the bartender greeted.

 

"Hi," Louis smiled. "Can I get a rum on the rocks?"

 

The guy nodded and broke some ice, pouring the liquor on top.

 

"There you go," the guy handed it over.

 

Louis found a big sun chair to take over, one under the cool shade of the giant ferns sprouting in Liam's yard. Once Harry got here they could share it. He looked around again, worried as to where he'd got to.

 

"Hey!" Came a loud, happy voice. "I brought ice-cream!"

 

Niall cheered and ran toward Harry to rifle through the bag he was carrying and Louis chuckled to himself as Marzo complained about having dessert first. He tucked his Ray Bans into place and waited patiently.

 

A flaked cone appeared in front of his face, Harry's arm over his shoulder.

 

"Surprise," Harry murmured.

 

Louis took the ice cream and twisted to see Harry's messy grin from chomping on his own cone.

 

"Eat up, Lou," Harry added with a wink.

 

Louis shifted and made room, his eyes going over Harry's outfit. He had on a palm-tree faded print vest which had a pink and orange smudged sunset behind it. With the vest he wore a pair of short deep pink shorts which had a cream pattern on that he couldn't quite decipher.

 

Louis grasped his wrist and pulled him closer, a slow smile spreading across his lips.

 

"Turtles?" He looked up to ask Harry through his grin.

 

Harry licked his cone and nodded.

 

Louis let his gaze run over his lightly haired thighs bared by the short cut of his shorts. He pursed his lips.

 

"Nice shorts, H," he said softly.

 

Harry twisted and sat in the gap Louis had made for him and Harry patted his thigh to signal Louis to lay his legs there in his lap.

 

Louis wriggled a bit, still licking at his ice-cream and settling his recovering shoulder as he tucked his legs into the gap between Harry's thighs. Harry slid him a smirk, licking out suggestively into his cone.

 

Louis leaned forward to curl a hand around his neck, pulling him close for a kiss. He felt the soft, sweet, cool breath fall from Harry's lips against his own before their mouths met and it made him ache inside the way Harry kissed him so tenderly.

 

Their lips were half-numb and hands getting sticky with melted cream but Louis wasn't going to waste any more chances to kiss Harry. He scratched his fingertips gently into the back of Harry's hair, earning a low grunt from the blonde man.

 

Harry pressed his forehead to Louis'.

 

"Don't make me do something we'll both regret," he murmured.

 

Louis licked his teeth, grinning wide.

 

"Like...?" He wondered, lifting his cone to rescue it, licking off the worst of the melted ice-cream and offering the flake to Harry.

 

Harry wrapped his tongue around the flake and pulled it from the creamy base, smirking as he chomped on it.

 

"Jesus," Louis whispered, throwing his cone to the side and cupping both of his sticky hands around Harry's face before kissing the melted chocolate out of his mouth.

 

Harry made a noise of protest, curling to wrap arms around Louis to haul him into his lap in the hope the smaller man might straddle him and get their bodies rubbing together but a loud hoot of laughter broke them apart.

 

Marzo wolf-whistled as Niall made kissing noises.

 

"Can't leave you two fer five minutes!" The Irishman complained.

 

"Disgusting it is," Marzo added with a grin and a wink.

 

Liam followed them both with a happy smile, Sophia elegantly posing beside him before they all found seats in the circle.

 

"Damn," Harry flipped his hair back, clearing his throat. "Guess we gotta behave now, Lou..."

 

Louis wriggled back, leaving his legs overlapping Harry's thigh.

 

"Suppose it's only polite," Louis allowed.

 

Soon the grill was lit and food thrown on it, vegetable skewers and Halloumi grilled especially for Harry's vegetarian diet. Louis fed him bits of chargrilled pepper and mushroom with a fond smile.

 

"God you two," Liam clucked as they stared at each other with love-happy grins.

 

Louis paid attention to the group then but Harry's forearms rested on his thigh, his big hand covering Louis' knee, his thumb swiping there gently.

 

"Sexy legs," Harry murmured as he reached to kiss Louis' cheek in the middle of a story he was telling about how drunk Marzo got one time on the tour.

 

Louis stuttered a bit, his lashes fluttering until he swallowed and regained his equilibrium. Harry merely smirked and let his hand smooth a bit higher on Louis' leg.

 

//

 

Louis waited until most of the group filtered away to get their desserts before shuffling his bum up close to Harry's leg so he could cup his cheek to bring his face around.

 

"Are we boyfriends?" He asked honestly. "Because I want to be boyfriends with you and I don't know how to-"

 

Harry lunged forward and kissed him, smiling against his lips and then sliding fingers onto the back of Louis' neck to slow the kiss down, deepening it with his tongue.

 

"Yes," Harry answered into Louis' mouth. "I want to be, too."

 

Louis let Harry kiss him until the others came back.

 

//

 

 

Harry's hand was nearly at the top of his thigh. It had worked inwards, too somehow, his fingertips gliding up and down the inseam of his shorts. If only Harry knew how distracting it was. How damn _arousing_.

 

Louis had to keep tugging his vest down, stretching the material in an attempt to disguise the hard push of his dick against the soft fabric. He flicked a look to Harry's lap to check if he was in the same state and the sight of those pink shorts bulging almost choked him.

 

He buried his face in Harry's shoulder and moaned loudly, as if in pain.

 

Harry merely smirked, running his thumb higher on the inseam of his sporty shorts.

 

"Hey, what's the matter, Louis?" Liam asked, hovering near them.

 

"Nothing," Louis drew out the word painfully, lifting his head from his hiding place and smiling wanly. "Harry beat me at eye-spy," he invented quickly.

 

Liam popped both his brows but didn't argue, humming before he walked away. Louis could see why when his gaze was drawn to Harry's lap again, finding Harry's thighs wide open, his vest tucked up and his bulge in full view.

 

"Did you want Liam to see you hard, Baby Bear?" Louis asked against his ear, sucking his ear-lobe.

 

Harry shuddered a bit and swallowed.

 

"Maybe," he admitted in the deepest voice Louis had ever heard.

 

His admittance was equally erotic, deciding for him the best action. Harry's hand was sneaking across his shorts, aiming to cup him through the material and Louis almost got his mind together enough to move before he completed his objective, but something in his brain turned off the second Harry's big, hot hand rested over his hardness.

 

"Oh god," Louis whimpered, tipping his head back to expose his throat.

 

Harry smiled predatorily and leaned over to suck on the skin, shaping  a nice owning bruise there with a smug smile.

 

"So pretty, Lou," he teased.

 

Louis shifted his hips, only pushing himself further into Harry's hand and somehow, Harry's fingers were moving, making the right shape to caress him, a tunnel of digits to stroke him with.

 

Louis quickly grabbed for a discarded shirt or a chair throw or anything that might cover his about-to-be-most-embarrassing moment but nothing came to hand and he was breathing so fast he wasn't even sure if was air getting into his lungs anymore.

 

"Shh, it's okay..." Harry's voice was so comforting and Louis felt himself in motion, eyes glued shut to temper his desire, to try and distract himself from coming right now and in front of everybody.

 

When he stopped moving, something cold touched his back, forcing his eyes wide open as he gasped.

 

The stone wall that made up the waterfall to Liam's pool was behind him and Harry's hands were already at his shorts-band, pulling them down as he carefully got to his knees, his bad one healed over and with only the slightest twinge now.

 

"On my tongue, Louis," he commanded gruffly and Louis had no semblance to argue, to try and work out what that even meant.

 

He was so close to his high that he came right away. The second his dick slid onto Harry's rough, wet tongue; his seed was spilling into the tunnel Harry made with it, showing it to Louis with intense eye-contact before swallowing it down.

 

Louis stared, amazed, pushing tender fingers into his hair.

 

"I want more than boyfriends with you," he whispered.

 

Harry grinned devilishly.

 

"Gotta get my mom on your side, first," he reminded gently.

 

Louis helped him up, wrapped arms around him and squeezed his ass openly.

 

"Want me to get you off, H? How do you want it?"

 

Harry pushed his hips into Louis' tummy, biting his lower lip as he got a rhythm, sliding up towards his navel.

 

"Oh yeah?" Louis' breath caught watching his eyes darken and blow out, hearing his breath quicken and little noises scratch out of his throat.

 

"Yeah," Harry growled, pushing up Louis' vest and using a thumb to hook his shorts down so that it was skin on skin, hot and naked.

 

"Can I touch you?" Louis asked, still cupping his behind and squeezing those small rounds to urge him on. Harry fell against him, grinding hard and whimpering in his throat.

 

"Oh, baby H," Louis worked his hand low, using the heel of it to rub gently against Harry's balls, smirking as the other man choked out his appreciation.

 

"Lou-god...yes, _there_..."

 

Louis used his other hand to glance under the drawn-down fabric of his shorts, pressing two fingertips suggestively at his hole. Harry's gasp and hard, fast rut after told Louis everything he needed to know.

 

He sucked those two fingers into his own mouth, wetting them up before pressing them back there, tucking inside Harry's rim carefully and stroking around the tightness, giving him more pleasure to finish him off.

 

"I-Lou! I can't... _fuck_!"

 

Louis kept his fingers inside, using the other arm to wrap tight around him.

 

"Make a mess on me, H...want everyone to know," he encouraged.

 

Harry let out a pained groan, loud and roar-like, his seed spurting upwards to hit both of their bodies and clothes. Harry's knees weakened so that Louis had to hold him up, kissing sweetly into his hair.

 

"God, you're so beautiful..."

 

Harry answered with a long, satisfied hum, still leaning into Louis' strong support.

 

"M'I hurting your shoulder?" He asked lowly.

 

Louis squeezed his waist.

 

"Nope."

 

"I always feel so sleepy when I've come," Harry lamented, licking his dry lips. Louis felt the brush of his tongue against his skin.

 

"We need to jump in the pool," Louis smiled. "Think we might have a bit of a stain control issue at hand..."

 

Harry snorted, burying his face in Louis' neck where he kissed, slowly.

 

Louis felt his heart-beat trip, gulping down a renewed desire.

 

"Babe, if we don't jump in the pool in the next five seconds I'm throwing you on the back seat of my truck and reminding you what fun that was," he warned gently.

 

Harry's arms lifted to curl around his shoulders with a weak noise.

 

"Why the fuck did you have to say that of all things?" He complained.

 

Louis smiled.

 

"Because I'm brilliant?"

 

"Because you're a tease," Harry pouted, finally getting himself straight.

 

"I'm good for my threats, young man," he arched a brow, tidying  a bit of Harry's fringe to one side and tucking it behind his ear.

 

"We can't," Harry swallowed thickly, shaking his head with furrowed brows. "No, we can't, it's rude. It's rude to-"

 

Louis' hand slid back down the crack of his still-naked ass, pressing fingers to his hole again lightly, only this time Louis' sharp teeth grazed his throat, sucking into his jaw as far as he could reach.

 

If Harry didn't know better he'd think Louis wanted to ditch this party but-

 

"Fucking turtles?" Louis muttered about Harry's shorts between biting, sucking kisses. "Really, H, you thought that was appropriate?"

 

Harry bit his lip and carefully stepped back, losing his balance for only a second. He twined hands with Louis and tiptoed down the side of the pool,  avoiding the main activity in the water where he could hear squeals.

 

He waited until they were at the patio before yelling out;

 

"Guys Louis isn't feeling well, I'm taking him home, see you later!"

 

The roar of teasing that washed back at them only spurred their run to the truck.

 

//

 

Harry threw open the back door of the truck but Louis pulled him back, pressing him against the side of the vehicle and kissing him hot and hard.

 

"You promised," Harry accused darkly.

 

Louis' lips twitched.

 

"It's a public road, H," He explained. "Let me get you home?"

 

"Can we go somewhere?" Harry asked, hands bracing Louis' face.

 

Louis blinked, sucking his lip.

 

"Do you know somewhere safe?"

 

Harry blinked, then nodded.

 

"Let's go," Louis took his hand and helped him into the truck before pulling himself up, driving them to the destination Harry chose.

 

//

 

"I love it when you-" Louis gasped, pushing his hand down Harry's spine as Harry curved it deep, pushing his ass upwards. "Yeah, like that, baby..."

 

Harry let out a whimper, falling to his elbows. Louis had to shuffle closer, thrusting in deep.

 

"Ah-ah!" Harry was so tight for him, it felt unbelievable like this.

 

"Fuck me, Lou," Harry mumbled lowly, pushing back as Louis flicked his hips.

 

Harry made  a noise that Louis wasn't sure was pleasure or pain, he was sure Harry must feel so full of him that he was choking, the clearing of his throat supported his thoughts and he never wanted to hurt Harry, ever, and especially not to get his high.

 

He smoothed a hand over his hip, squeezing the small pouch of flesh there.

 

"You okay, H? Does it feel good?"

 

"H-harder," Harry begged between gritted teeth, letting out little squeaks of surprise as Louis drove hard and tight into him, tempering his rhythm.

 

Louis had wanted to fuck Harry like this the second he'd shown up in those skimpy pink shorts of his but the reality- although minorly awkward in the back of his truck- was enough to blow his mind.

 

Louis barely had any control left, the way Harry moved with him and cried out for him and just-

 

"Oh f-fuck..."

 

Harry stuttered out disbelieving sounds, coming untouched over his own torso as Louis fluttered his eyelids shut and drilled in deep, pulling back when he felt his peak hit but letting that wetness fill Harry's hole.

 

"Why did you-" Harry gasped weakly, falling forward onto the backseat while Louis rested back on his haunches, circling a palm over Harry's backside. His butt-cheeks were tensed, as if holding in Louis' semen. His crack glistened when Harry relaxed those muscles again.

 

"You don't want me to?" Louis checked, looking around for tissues or a towel or something to clean up with and only finding his vest which he used to gently clean up Harry.

 

Harry twisted, blinking at him. He wriggled onto his back so Louis could wipe his front down once Harry had wiped the leather seat clean.

 

"Feels so good when you do," Harry offered then softly.

 

Louis flicked his eyes up.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Harry nodded, a slow smile coming to his face.

 

"Taking me home, Lou?" He asked.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"Full service," he promised, pulling on his shorts and hopping into the front of the cab.

 

//

 

It was the following Sunday when Louis and Harry were wandering around town hand in hand, looking at all the antique stores that Harry loved, that Louis' secret finally came to air.

 

Layla Woodhouse from WSB-TV had seen them slip into the record shop and Louis happened to have his arms around Harry in the listening booth corner, kissing him until he blushed which was always quite an easy feat and a major turn-on.

 

"Louis!" Layla called brightly as Louis' mouth parted and he slipped his head-phones off.

 

"Oh-erm, hi," he cleared his throat, flicking his eyes sideways to see if Harry had noticed.

 

Harry had hung the headset around his neck, his hands possessively clutching at Louis' sides, guiding him between his thighs from where he sat on a stool. Louis settled there awkwardly, a wince on his face.

 

"I'm surprised we haven't heard from you," Layla smiled. "Thought you'd be chomping at the bit to-"

 

"Um," Louis cut her off with a cough. "I'm waiting for the meeting...Erm...David said he'd call a meeting and-"

 

Layla tilted her head.

 

"You don't need to wait until the meeting to give us your answer, Louis...."

 

"What answer?" Harry asked behind him and Louis tensed.

 

Layla lifted her brows, flicking her eyes between the two.

 

"About the Sports presenter job," she answered anyway, oblivious to Louis' inner turmoil apparently. "I think he'd be great at it, don't you Harry?"

 

Louis lifted his hand and smacked his face into his palm. He felt Harry's hands squeeze into his sides a bit, along with his thighs.

 

"I think he would," Harry answered carefully.

 

"Think he's got a confidence crisis after crashing out in Indonesia," Layla rolled her eyes with a smile. "Maybe you can give him a boost," she added.

 

Louis sighed.

 

Harry smiled and nodded.

 

"Maybe I can," he agreed blithely, waiting until Layla had left the building before he released Louis from his hold.

 

At which point Louis darted away, rushing outside to light a cigarette, something he hadn't seen Louis do for quite some time.

 

Harry followed him out with a confused frown.

 

"So they offered you a job?" He ventured.

 

Louis blew out smoke with an eye roll as a yes.

 

"And you didn't take it?"

 

Louis licked his lips, picking at  a bit of tobacco and spitting it away gently when his fingers couldn't grasp it.

 

"I thought it'd bring up bad memories," he admitted then, feeling all kinds of awful for keeping the news from Harry.

 

"Bad memories of what?" Harry wondered.

 

"Of me, being famous...maybe even being away," Louis gestured with the hand that held the cigarette. He took another drag.

 

Harry approached him and gently fingered his fringe away from his eyes.

 

"Is it full time?"

 

Louis shook his head, tapping the ash off his cigarette.

 

"Just the sports section of the news- a few hours a week for research and ten minutes live on air every Friday and Monday," he explained. "They offered to sponsor Surf Sons."

 

Harry's face came up, brows lifted.

 

"That's some kind of deal," he considered.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

"It's not worth it, Haz. Not if I lose you over it."

 

Harry blinked.

 

"Who said you would lose me?"

 

Louis scoffed.

 

"History?"

 

"It's not the same thing, is it?" Harry posed. "You'd have a contract and limited field trips...even if you did one trip a week you'd still be here for most of the time."

 

Louis cupped his cigarette under his fingers and felt the smoke drift towards his eyes, making them sting.

 

"I'd be famous," Louis beseeched softly. "You hated it when everybody wanted me."

 

Harry shook his head, a small smile curving his lips. He watched Louis take the last drag of his cigarette, then put it out gently under his shoe.

 

"I hated that everybody got a piece of you when I didn't," Harry corrected. "And I think we all know I was a bit insecure then. I'll try harder now, I promise."

 

"I don't want you to," Louis grasped his hands. "I want to be here for you."

 

"You are," Harry mused. "And anyway I thought we talked about forever," a twinkle started in his eye that flickered the dimple in his cheek as he gave a lop-sided smile.

 

Louis' breath left his lungs.

 

"Not talked about properly," he mumbled.

 

"Well, Let's imagine there's a forever," Harry posed. "That's kind of final isn't it? It doesn't matter who else wants a piece of you, it means you're mine now Louis. I'm here to protect you from overzealous fans and over demanding PR."

 

Louis stared at him, his heart beating hard.

 

"Let's _not_ imagine forever," he whispered, watching Harry's face crease uncertainly until Louis stepped back and reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the box he'd almost showcased a few weeks ago when Anne had accused him of being a lothario.

 

"L-Lou, what's that?" Harry asked, brows furrowing.

 

"What do you think it is?" Louis teased. "Fucking hell, Harry, I've waited long enough to make you mine, you think I'm passing up this chance?"

 

Harry blinked, pouting.

 

"You could have picked somewhere more romantic..." he complained lightly, swallowing hard to stem his tears.

 

Louis lowered himself to one knee, biting his lip as he looked up.

 

"I love you, Baby Bear," he announced, opening the box to reveal a huge round aqua diamond mounted on a delicate pale gold band. Louis swallowed nervously, tongue flicking out to lick his lips. "Do you think you can make do with me for the rest of your life?"

 

Harry had to suck his lower lip into his mouth to stop it quivering and even then he had to bite down hard. His eyes were wet with emotion and he could only nod, unable to form words.

 

"Is that a yes?" Louis checked quickly, tilting his head.

 

Harry nodded harder, sticking his hand out for Louis to put on the ring. Louis' hands were shaking so hard it took three tries and then Harry was pulling him up and wrapping him hard into his chest with a pained 'Fuck, Lou,' breathed out into Louis' hair.

 

Harry made a noise in his throat as Louis' arms circled his shoulders, a face-breaking grin stretching across his face.

 

"You actually said yes," Louis husked. "Fuck!"

 

Harry chuckled out a sob.

 

"You thought I'd say no?"

 

"Maybe," Louis squeezed him tighter, just to feel Harry do the same back.

 

"My mom is gonna have a fit," Harry lamented then slowly with low giggle.

 

Louis closed his eyes and grinned harder.

 

"I'm sorry," he tried to sound sincere.

 

"No you're not," Harry accused fondly.

 

Louis pulled back, lifting Harry's hand to thumb the diamond.

 

"Do you like it?" Louis asked uncertainly.

 

Harry's eyes filled with tears again and Louis tiptoed to kiss them away.

 

"Bastard," Harry accused. "You fucking knew the colour of the sea would make me cry..."

 

Louis smirked, arching a brow.

 

"Had to get you somehow, didn't I?"

 

Harry smiled back.

 

"So..." he broached, eyeing his new jewel and smiling softly at his finger.

 

"So?" Louis tangled their fingers together as they started their walk to the next shop.

 

"When are you going to call and tell them you'll take the job?" Harry asked.

 

Louis paused, reaching up to kiss Harry's lips very gently.

 

"When I've finished making love to you," Louis replied, steering them towards the truck.


	15. Epilogue

The moment that eight year old George Dillon manoeuvred himself upright on his board, bending his knees just the way Louis taught him, and held his balance to cruise along the mild wave was a moment that Louis could store happily in his memory bank along with his crinkle-eyed smile.

 

"Hey, good job buddy!" Louis waded through the waist-deep water after him, as George shakily plopped into the sea when he reached the shoreline.

 

George had limited mobility in his left leg and he'd become an angry and insolent boy until he'd started lessons at Louis' surf school.

 

Once George had realised he could achieve something with his non-cooperative limb he'd become a different lad, all boisterous cheekiness combined with dedicated focus to learn the craft.

 

George wasn't the only one of course, Louis had eighteen young people enrolled in his special classes at the moment and a few private adult lessons he took on the side to bump up his earnings.

 

But still, the sense of achievement it gave Louis watching someone else adopt the infectious buzz you got from surfing was enough to have him resigned to never competing again, no matter how many times he got asked to come out of retirement.

 

"Hey, Mr. Tomlinson, I think your husband is here," George pointed up the beach to where a tall man with outrageously long curly blonde hair trekked down the sand towards the water.

 

He was wearing a rather garish black shirt with pink flamingos printed on it along with his pink short shorts (which Louis was sure he'd told Harry to keep for their private pool at home). But the thing that made Louis' heartbeat trip in his chest harder than seeing the love of his life, was the young boy holding hands with Harry and staring up at him in awe as he tumbled across the sand while Harry juggled another little body in his other arm- a smaller boy who's head was tiredly resting on Harry's shoulder.

 

God, he was _so_ lucky.

 

"Dad!" Zack called, rushing forward and severing his hand-contact with Harry so he could run towards Louis who had exited the water and was crouched ready for the invasion running for his arms.

 

He closed them around the small body, smelling in the sea-scent of his hair mixed in with the cotton flavour from Harry's preferred washing liquid.

 

"Hey," Harry grinned big, his hair pushed back with his sunglasses which topped his head.

 

"Hi, love," Louis stood up and hugged Harry and Daniel the best he could with his small arms.

 

He pressed a kiss into Daniel's temple and brushed back his hair as his sleepy eyes opened a notch.

 

"Hi Dad," he mumbled, rubbing a little hand into his eye and curling back into Harry's chest.

 

Louis' eyes fixed on his husband and he smirked across at George who was showing Zack the surfboard he'd just been using.

 

"George spotted you a mile off," Louis smirked a bit, using  a finger to flick at the lapel of Harry's shirt. "Couldn't you find something else to wear?"

 

Harry's brow arched at the teasing insult.

 

"I happen to like this shirt," he commented with the tiniest smile.

 

Louis' eyes dropped down, to where Harry's thighs were exposed, the thickest part pushing past the hems and showcasing his long limbs perfectly. Louis didn't need to see his pert behind to know how good it looked in these shorts, , he'd had that pleasure at home when they just relaxed by the pool, Harry often naked bar his shorts on a sun lounger reading while Louis cleaned the pool.

 

Louis felt the familiar stirring in his wetsuit and cupped a hand across his crotch self consciously, a blush flaring in his cheeks as George called his name.

 

"Mr. Tomlinson?"

 

"Yes, George?" Louis looked over with a forced smile.

 

"My mom's here..."

 

Louis looked up to the car park, waving at Mrs. Dillon, telling George to head up. George limped with a beaming thank you to Louis for his lesson and Louis melted into a smile as he shuffled closer to Harry.

 

"Zack, don't kick sand, please," Harry warned, without even moving his eyes from Louis, his own lips curving upwards knowingly.

 

Louis tiptoed, hands crawling up the part of Harry's chest they could reach, one darting away to slip around his side under their sleeping child.

 

"Hi," Louis murmured against Harry's lips. "Mr. Tomlinson-Styles, what can I do for you?"

 

Harry gave into the urge to kiss Louis, meshing their lips as their faces twisted either way to combine mouths. Harry moaned a bit in his throat, his lips softly biting for more traction as Louis surged up and wrapped his strong arms around that beautiful waist.

 

"Well Mr. Tomlinson," Harry smirked as he pulled away, eyes flicking around to find Zack who he belatedly realised was drawing circles in the sand around Louis' foot. "I'd love to enrol my children in your class if that's possible..."

 

Louis snorted, eyeing Daniel with a soft smile.

 

"Think he's a bit tired for surfing, don't you?"

 

Harry shrugged with a dimpled grin.

 

"Worth a try, right?"

 

Louis leaned into him and transferred the weight of their second child from Harry to himself.

 

"Let me take them for a bit," Louis offered knowingly, seeing the tiredness in Harry's eyes.

 

As much as they both loved their children, more of the care duties had fallen on Harry who'd opted to work from home for most of the week allowing Louis to keep his surf school open and flourishing. Louis knew how hard it was looking after the two energetic boys and it wasn't like he wasn't pulling his weight but he knew when Harry needed relief.

 

"Why don't you go and pamper yourself," Louis suggested, reaching down to run a hand through Zack's chestnut hair, much like his own.

 

It was Daniel who'd inherited Harry's blonde hair and beautiful green eyes.

 

"If you're sure," Harry smiled thankfully at his beau.

 

Louis nodded and reached up to kiss his cheek before wondering what to do with the two boys. His gaze was distracted by the rear of those pink shorts swinging up the beach, Harry's beauty so evident in his attention-grabbing clothes. Louis couldn't help his grin despite the wolf-whistles and cheers he got as he went- mostly from the locals who knew them both by now.

 

Louis' stint as a sports anchor had made him minorly famous again but he'd quit the network when they'd gotten Zack. It seemed like it was still yesterday to some who recognised the gay couple wherever they went in the small town.

 

"Dad? I can sit in a boat..." Daniel suggested softly from his shoulder.

 

Louis' face lit up.

 

"That's a great idea, why don't we all go for a boat-ride?"

 

Zack rolled his eyes.

 

"Why do I have to do dumb baby stuff just because _he_ can't stay awake?" He accused of his brother with a pointed finger.

 

Louis tutted and gently brought his hand down.

 

"Hey, this was you once, dude," Louis reminded. "No dissing your brother."

 

Zack sighed, folding his arms grumpily.

 

"Daniel, why don't me and you sit on the beach under an umbrella and we can watch Zack paddle-boarding?" Louis suggested.

 

Zack's whole demeanor changed, his face brightening as he gasped.

 

"Yes!" He hissed, running up the beach to get a paddle board from the shack before Daniel even gave his reply.

 

"Zack!" Louis called the other boy back, crooking his finger until the boy stood before him. "I haven't heard the magic word yet."

 

"Please, Dad," Zack smiled as innocently as he could muster. "Can I go paddle-boarding?"

 

"Permission granted," Louis nodded, earning a 'thank you!' yelled down the beach from his boy.

 

The smaller of the boys clutched at Louis' wetsuit with tired fists, yawning.

 

"I'll just sit with you, Dad," Daniel confirmed quietly.

 

Louis found them a spot near the shore where he could run to help Zack should he need it. He'd radio'd his shop assistant to bring him down his clothes and managed to dress into them behind a wind-breaker, finally sitting cross legged so Daniel could curl up in his lap. His son's even breaths were the ultimate sound of tranquillity along with Zack's boyish whoops.

 

Liam had joined them around half an hour later, helping Zack improve his skill while Daniel wriggled onto his back and looked up at his dad.

 

Ever since they'd found out that Daniel suffered with anaemia; making him tired more than Zack, Liam and Niall had been there so much more for Louis and Harry, helping them out when it became a bit much for one of them to manage on their own. Louis felt so grateful for the people in his life and he knew when Liam and Sophia decided to have children that their families would be close like cousins and nephews.

 

Louis took the children to their favourite vegetarian restaurant while Harry took time out for himself and although Louis knew he'd told Harry to pamper himself he knew Harry's version of pampering was to go and check on his beloved animals.

 

It was a bit of a surprise then, to look up from snatching the ketchup bottle from Zack's hands where he and Daniel were arguing over it, to find Harry pushing his way into the eaterie, his gaze flicking about over the tables.

 

Louis might have waved if he wasn't mesmirised by his husband's legs.

 

"You ordered without me?" Harry slid into the seat next to Zack and ruffled his hair.

 

Zack stuck his tongue out.

 

"Can you tell Dad you give me the ketchup back please?"

 

Harry grinned, flicking a look to Louis who smirked, holding it up.

 

"They were fighting over who had it first. So I decided neither of them get it," he added cheerfully.

 

Harry chewed on his lip.

 

"So I spoke to Niall," he ventured.

 

Louis looked up, knowing what this was code for, but playing it cool, wiping up the remainder of his lasagne sauce with the last hunk of Italian bread.

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

"He asked me if Daniel and Zack might like to go to his for a computer games night," Harry continued nonchalantly while Zack snapped his head to look at his father.

 

"What? Seriously? Please tell me you said yes?"

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"Wasn't sure you'd want to leave me and your dad for a whole night..."

 

Harry winked at Louis, a dirty grin starting at the edges of his lips that made Louis wonder if this was all pre-planned. The pink shorts, the disappearing act, the surprise entrance at the restaurant...

 

"Dad, please," Zack beseeched Harry. "And Daniel can sleep if he wants to," he added.

 

"He's right," Harry looked to Louis. "What do you think Daniel?"

 

Daniel- who was propping his head up on a folded arm- looked up.

 

"I'll play with Niall's dog," he volunteered.

 

"Okay, that's three of us in agreement," Harry smiled. "Louis?" He posed, placing the ultimate authority with Louis which Louis had often reprimanded him for, making him seem like 'bad cop' to Harry's 'good cop'.

 

Two whiny pleads and the fact Harry looked edible made Louis' decision a lot easier.

 

"Alright, you can have a sleepover at Uncle Niall's," Louis allowed, drowned out by cheers. "I'll try not to take that celebration to heart, shall I?"

 

Zack giggled, finishing his previously half-eaten plate. It was as if he knew not finishing his meal could put his newly agreed play time in danger.

 

They waited for Niall to collect the boys before they headed home alone.

 

//

 

 

Louis twists his leg around Harry's, persuading his thighs to part. He's already pushing his hot, rodded dick into Harry but Harry's clenching around him tightly muttering soft profanities.

 

"Not gonna hurt you," Louis murmurs gently tucking Harry's hair back to kiss the back of his neck and his bare tanned shoulder. "Just open up for me baby."

 

Harry shifts, spooned by Louis and speared by his hard heat in this very intimate position. There's barely any friction just the hard pounding of blood through their veins and fast breaths of desire. 

 

Harry can't stop clutching at Louis because it feels so tight this way it feels like he can't possibly fit.

 

"Shh," Louis kisses Harry's temple as he whimpers but adjusts them digging his foot lower to push Harry's legs further apart, using his free hand to curl under Harry's knee and lift his whole leg.

 

He slides into him and it's incredible. It's-

 

"Ha-Oh, oh fuck give me a chance here..." Louis mumbles out as Harry's muscles instinctively flutter.

 

Louis pauses in him, no pained noises or tension left in Harry's form. He gently rests Harry's knee on the outside of his own slipping his knee between Harry's to secure some kind of pivot point.

 

"Yeah," Harry nods with a slow swallow. "Yeah like that..."

 

"Yeah?" Louis pulses his hips gently one arm framing Harry's head arced over him the other playing with his newly acquired belly button piercing before his hand fans out holding Harry steady as he slides out then into him again. "Is that good babe?"

 

"Y-yes...god, Lou...ah!"

 

Harry arches his neck and gulps back saliva; licking his dry lips as his face contorts in pleasure, something Louis has created but he's not sure how.

 

"Want more?" Louis murmurs softly in his ear rocking his hips a bit harder. "Want it like that?"

 

Harry reaches behind him to try and curl an arm around Louis' neck but Louis nearly slides right out of him so he settles back into the bed, carefully keeping his thighs parted just how Louis wanted them.

 

"God so pretty, Harry. So beautiful..."

 

"Yours," Harry pants knowing that particular declaration happens to send his husband a little crazy.

 

"Ah-ah-Fuck," Louis groans as he pumps in three times, slowing himself back down to just flick his hips and embed himself in Harry.

 

"Yours," Harry repeats in a whisper, quivering in his attempt not to wriggle.

 

"Am I hurting you?" Louis brushes a starred hand over his belly.

 

Harry shakes his head his hair catching in Louis' mouth. Louis sticks his tongue out to pull it in, sucking on the strands.

 

"Full," Harry manages to whimper out. "So thick in me Big Bear."

 

Louis' hips cant but he circles his hand gently over Harry's torso.

 

"Want you to feel me, Haz. Feel my heart beat thrumming into you, feel my body becoming yours..."

 

"You're mine too, " Harry takes from that little speech working himself on Louis' dick now.

 

That's also one of Louis' favourite things.

 

"I'm not as young as I used to be you know, " Louis gasps as Harry clenches around him and this time Louis does move, circling his hips to screw in deep.

 

"So?" Harry throws over his shoulder. "Fuck, you're-"

 

"I can't control myself," Louis smirks into Harry's hair, sliding his hand down to fist around Harry's arousal thrusting gently into him once more.

 

Harry cries out and comes, whether it's from the surprise of Louis' touch or his words Louis isn't sure but the sensation of feeling Harry orgasm around him triggers his own release and he's trying to pull away so as not to fill him right up but-

 

"Fuck, stay there," Harry's hand tightens around his arm vice-like in its grip and his voice is low and gruff. "Please?" He adds after; his throat working. He sounds ruined. 

 

Louis very carefully wriggles back close, his now semi hard dick sliding in a mixture of his own come and the lube he'd generously applied to Harry's ass. He feels closer to him this way, loves draping himself over Harry's back protectively.

 

"Stay like this forever?" Louis poses.

 

Harry smiles sleepily wrapping Louis' arm around his waist to stop his curious fingers playing with his belly piece any longer. Or they'll be fucking again before it even turns midnight.

 

"Forever," Harry hums thickly.

 

Louis' hand escapes the confines of Harry's fingers twining with his own, sneakily darting low to brush over his dick. 

 

If he wasn't interested before his body has just betrayed him.

 

"So soon Harold?" Louis bites his earlobe teasingly. "Not a shy girl are you..."

 

Harry quickly changes places at Louis words; growling as he straddles Louis easily and pins him to the bed. Louis' eyes are far too dark to try and protest his dislike of being captured. Instead he sighs.

 

"I guess I'm resigned to a life of being your sex slave..."

 

Harry's smile is devilish.

 

"I guess you are."

 

"What of me then, Styles?" He jokes in a posh accent. "Are you to take me over the dresser?"

 

Harry snorts at Louis' rather dramatic imaginings. He kisses very slowly down his chest.

 

"I kind of hoped it would be me taken over the dresser," Harry flashes him a grin. "Unless you insist otherwise." He adds in a stately fashion.

 

Louis scrabbles to get up, pushing Harry over the counter in the bathroom in replacement for their figurative dresser.

 

It takes two fingers and more lube before he's easing in, earning Harry's excited cries as a result.

 

"Oh...oh-" Harry swallowed. "Oh Louis..."

 

"That's Mr Tomlinson to you, wench," Louis growls in his ear thrusting up hard and Harry's feet almost leave the floor.

 

He wriggles his toes feeling the tightness of Louis' heat and he melts a bit into the ceramic tiles.

 

"Jesus, Lou," he murmurs then clears his throat when Louis thrusts hard again. "I mean- Mister...Sir?" He tries.

 

Louis smiles and let's out a groan as he sinks in hard again, holding Harry's hands flat against the wall. It's cold, almost biting and a stark contrast to the heat between his thighs and the heat Harry is exuding.

 

"Come on then beautiful...gonna come hard for me?" Louis asks. 

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

"No sir...you're going to come hard for me," Harry corrects.

 

"You're not wrong," Louis mutters into Harry's hair right before he pulses into Harry's body, waiting for Harry to follow suit.

 

Luckily Harry is right there hitting his high at the same moment.

 

Their weak cries die into the silent room.

 

"It's so quiet without them," Harry observes as Louis starts up the shower and cleans Harry's mess off the counter.

 

Louis thumbs Harry's cheek with a smile that half moons his eyes. He has slight bags from lack of sleep but he couldn't look happier.

 

"I miss them too," he admits.

 

"You think Niall would bring them home if we called?" Harry ponders as Louis guides him under the stream of hot water.

 

Louis flicks a look over his nakedness biting his lip.

 

"I think I need a few more hours before its safe for them to come back..."

 

Harry's laugh is delighted and deep.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading guys, I love hearing your comments!
> 
> I have a very short Halloween fluff to post and then I'll be onto another Hybrid story- Fox Louis.
> 
> Also up soon/in the works- Harry as an art teacher and Louis as a criminal runaway...A cat related fic...Tomcat part 3...
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Ang


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